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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour snitched on me putting up 1 fence...

213 replies

Brokentoday · 07/05/2020 12:32

I have recently moved to new property...

I live in a row of houses, all the house apart from my neighbour to my right have 4 ft fences..

There are house opposite of my garden and there garden are next to ours and so are the rest of the houses on my street, so in my garden the fence in front is 6ft and the fence to my right is 6ft the fence to my left is 4 ft.

Me and partner decide to put new 6ft fence along the left hand side by professional costing a fair amount of money. I off course notified my neighbour to my left that I would be doing so and if she was okay with it. She has no issues with it and she hope's to raise her fence aswell.

Now my neighbours are friendly welcoming and all round decent people since we moved me. The issue i have is I can see 4-5 houses down in my garden, I'm not unsociable I just was a bit of privacy in my garden with 3 children under 5. I dont think it is partically safe either..

My partner also feels somewhat uncomfortable because we are black they stare at us in our garden..

I got a phone call from my housing association letting me no that basically somebody have called them to inform them that I am putting a fence up..

I was told to stop as I didnt ask for permission, I said the fence is more or less done. I was then asked to write a letter retrospective permission.. to inform them that I have done a fence and that is meets there criteria.. the lady I spoke to was nice and basically told me make sure it not higher than 6ft and it's done by professionals.. take a pictures and send it In.

To find it somewhat funny that somebody felt the need to report me as if i stole from the queen palace.. I mean Im entitled to some privacy for fuck sake.. the fence is up and nobody can stare at us.

AIBU?

OP posts:
BlueBrian · 07/05/2020 13:51

Amazing, so some people think it's OK to put a fence up, when they don't even own the house.

NorthDowns · 07/05/2020 13:52

How do you know a neighbour reported you? The Housing Officer May have picked this up on an estate inspection or a tradesman might have advised the HA if they noticed it. Or it might have been mentioned by someone in passing with no intention of reporting you. Don’t let this sour neighbour relations. You’ll very likely get retrospective permission anyway, they won’t unreasonably withhold permission.

AnneOfTeenFables · 07/05/2020 13:53

You've just moved in. You have no idea what problems or issues there have been in the past with people putting up fences or other structures without permission. The fact is, depending on where you live, there are rules about fence heights, about boundaries, about fence materials, fence construction and design, etc. You can't just decide to put up a fence.
You should be glad you've moved somewhere were people care about standards and rules being followed. It helps to maintain the amenity for everyone.

TatianaBis · 07/05/2020 13:53

YABU for putting up a fence on a rental property without permission.

Many posters are being U for dumbass/racist comments about black experience.

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/05/2020 13:54

It's not racism to "stare at someone and say fuck all", op Confused
You sound a bit aggressive, tbh. That'll probably be a better explanation as to why they're scared to talk to you.

Original poster
Brokentoday · 07/05/2020 13:55

The builders was an hour in before I got a phone call from HA..

OP posts:
Stampy84 · 07/05/2020 13:55

@Brokentoday
Im white. And I can confirm I’ve experienced racism so that’s a ridiculous think to say.
I’m been called white shit, told you go to my own neighbourhood where the whites are supposed to be, and that’s to name just 2 comments. Or does racism not count if you’re white?

BeforeIPutOnMyMakeup · 07/05/2020 13:55

Also don't presume it was a neighbour who reported you.

Some housing association (and council housing) staff are horrible they will pick on tenants.

TatianaBis · 07/05/2020 13:56

Oh great now we have the provincial posters piling in telling the OP what racism is.

Stampy84 · 07/05/2020 13:56

@TatianaBis why is it unreasonable to question why someone is being accused of racism?

Stampy84 · 07/05/2020 13:57

@TatianaBis
Please do inform us then ?

Lynda07 · 07/05/2020 13:57

Brokentoday: YABU for assuming people stare in because you're black. Sorry I couldn't see past that weird comment
........
The op said it was her husband who thought that, not her. People think odd things at different times, I'm not in his head - he probably said it off the top of his.
..........

OP, you've done nothing wrong and your neighbour has made an idiot of her/himself by reporting you for putting up a new fence, especially when she will benefit from it once opening her eyes to it. I agree it is safer to have a decent fence especially when you have young children and we are all entitled to privacy in our gardens.

My fence blew down bit by bit before lockdown and I will not go in my garden during the day (unless I'm sure others aren't out there), until it is fixed which will be as soon as people are back at work. My neighbour on that side has patched it up a bit for me and is going to try to find a reliable worker to erect a new one.

Im glad your housing association were not only sensible but reasonable and why not? You're obviously looking after your new home.

I hope you and the family are happy there.

WorraLiberty · 07/05/2020 13:59

Oh great now we have the provincial posters piling in telling the OP what racism is.

Well let's just wait and see what the OP says about it.

If she says something to back the statement up then fine.

If she doesn't, then there could well be other reasons. The fact they're new to the neighbourhood would be a reason for many to stare or take more notice of a new family a few gardens away.

WorraLiberty · 07/05/2020 14:00

OP, you've done nothing wrong and your neighbour has made an idiot of her/himself by reporting you for putting up a new fence, especially when she will benefit from it once opening her eyes to it.

Except she has done something wrong Confused

The HA has said it and the OP has said it herself?

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/05/2020 14:02

She has done something wrong and there's no particular benefit to the neighbour. It could even be detrimental if it blocks the light.

bruffin · 07/05/2020 14:02

the builders was an hour in before I got a phone call from HA..
When was this 6 weeks ago before lock down or now?

BubblyBarbara · 07/05/2020 14:03

It's better to ask forgiveness than seek permission with things like this. Good on you.

TatianaBis · 07/05/2020 14:03

If she says something to back the statement up then fine.

Why should she have to justify herself to you?

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/05/2020 14:03

She's asked forgiveness. She hasn't been absolved yet 😂. Don't be ridiculous

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/05/2020 14:04

You are also quite aggressive, Tatiana

TatianaBis · 07/05/2020 14:05

@Stampy84 why is it unreasonable to question why someone is being accused of racism?

It’s just rather ignorant in this context.

category12 · 07/05/2020 14:05

It's better to ask forgiveness than seek permission with things like this.

No, no, it's not. It's far better to have a good relationship with your housing association than to become a problem tenant to them. They will work with you and can be a great resource.

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/05/2020 14:06

Please explain

TatianaBis · 07/05/2020 14:06

I’m not aggressive, just rather impatient with this sort of stuff.

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/05/2020 14:06

Please explain, Tatiana?

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