Lockdown is making me hate life

[Minorchord]

I hate lockdown. I live alone and hate not being able to see anyone. I hate this whole culture of meet up over zoom and fucking dance routines and people going on about their gardens. I have depression anyway which I've had treatment for which doesn't work. I hate this incompetent government and this new NHS Worship cult. I used to like life when I wasn't depressed now I hate every second of it. I don't know what the point of getting up is. But of course all people want to talk about is the illness above all others and how important it is to lockdown until 2023. I've lost years of my life to mental ill health. I was making some progress and now this. I hate MN and how everyone just wants to leap on anyone hating the lockdown and say it's for your own good and don't even think about having a life. I hate those fucking patronising government adverts "It cam be hard.." I am sick to death of the words social distancing. If I knew what happened after I'd end my life now.

I hear you. I’ve been getting frustrated with a lot of the things you mention too. I’ve been keeping myself going with exercise and routine and a good healthy dose of daily escapism via Animal Crossing but it is really hard. Are you in regular contact with the people you care about?

I know you have probably already thought of this, but what about a 24 - 48 hr news & people break. To give your ears/brain a full rest from negative input.

I hope you are also aware of how to access professional support if necessary.

I also hope you are able to move towards your previous steps in the right direction, as our whole country moves foward.

I have no words for how negative in some sections the chat has been on here, but the sensible people are still here, you just have to be careful which threads you give your attention too.

I wish you well

Can you not phone or Skype people individually? Go for walks? ‘Accidentally’ bump into a friend at the park and stay 2m away? Why does it mean you can’t have a life?

You're not being unreasonable at all, it is shit. I'm sick of it all too. I'm at the stage I'll take my chance with the virus (not passing it on to vulnerable people, before anyone jumps on me)

So sorry you feel like this op, it’s shit isn’t it.
I’m at the stage I don’t want to cheat death by not living.

Hopefully we will get some news that lockdown will be eased very soon. We can't go on like this. I think some very bitter/jealous people are relishing this lockdown because it means that they might in fact benefit from this because they are in a secure job, whereas others who they envied in the past, might stand to lose their jobs and financial security. It means that no one else is out enjoying themselves eating in nice restaurants and going on luxury holidays. Those bitter types are absolutely loving this and not necessarily because they couldn't afford that lifestyle before, but because they would rather everyone else be miserable just like them.

YANBU, it's shit. It's not life it's just existing.

I'm desperate to actually live again, and it's not like I do anything exciting anyway. A conversation with another person that's not dependent on our WiFi connections, a meal I haven't had to cook, leaving the house to go somewhere other than the park or getting in the car.

I'm not saying I want to have a huge party or go round licking everyone I see, obviously i will take sensible precautions but as a low risk family on the brink of mh crisis i think the benefit outweighs the risk at this stage.

You need to avoid media stuff that's getting you down. Quit MN or stick to its corona-free zone, or just hide the coronavirus topic. You don't have to do or watch dance routines or zoom stuff (unless it's psrt of your work). I'm not joining in with the NHS clapping either.

Keep in contact with the people you want to. Join in only with online activities you think are fun. Get fresh air. Do a hobby if you have one (I'm knitting loads). Avoid all the crap you can avoid, basically!

What are you actually doing during lock down? Cus it kinda sounds like you're just scrolling through social media and seeing everyone else talking about their gardens etc, and yeah it sounds like you're deep in depression, mines been acting up for the last week or two, I feel better the less I'm on Internet devices like my phone, checking the news all the time, killing time on here (not good for your mental health, too many angry/scared/upset people in one place being passive aggressive with each other and arguing over conspiracy theories)

So yeah what have you been filling your time with, is there something a bit more calming you could do? Cooking, reading, knitting always calms me down cus it's so repetitive, etc

At least when it's all over, you'll be out and about and back to normal. Think about us disabled people for whom 'lockdown' is nothing bloody new. We live it every bloody day. Start counting your blessings.

You are allowed to go out

you are allowed to exercise, you are allowed to go shopping, you are allowed to volunteer to help people, you are allowed to work. It's hardly a lockdown.

Stop focusing on what you can't do, and have a look at what you can do. Many people would love to be able to stay home and safe, but they have a job to do, so they are out and in contact with the public.

If you don't like online meetings, unless you must have them for work, then.. don't, and step away. If you need help, contact your GP and ask locally.

onedayinthefuture
you just wrote the most bitter post I have read on MN in a long time

I feel you.

I feel like my future has been taken from me - I'll never travel again, go to the pub, meet friends and worst of all, never be able to have children. The only person I have spoke to in the last two months is my partner and have been no where but Asda. I don't see the point of living anymore, if this is all there is. I too am prone to anxiety and depression however....

If you want someone to rant at, feel free to PM me, I'll listen

Many of us are in the same position as you OP. It's horrendous.

i can only hope the government sees the mistake and shuffles back.

Do write to your local MP and Downing Street. They say there is evidence of people wanting to lock down for longer. We must make our voices heard.

I don't know what you mean by dance routines. I don't do the Two Minutes Hate.

a pp suggests "accidentally" bumping into friends - none of mine are walking distance so this isn't possible. It's shit. I have lost all the mental health gains I made for sure. Last week I was so close to suicide it was terrifying.

I think the downfall of Neil Ferguson is hope. Not false hope - real hope.

oneday I completely understand what you are saying.

They say there is evidence of people wanting to lock down for longer.

well, quite.
Some people prefer being at home than stuck on a hospital bed with their kids in care because they are too ill to look after them.

We had the most relaxed lockdown of all, no need to become martyrs.

I completely understand. And whilst I obviously recognise the importance in it, I did wake up today and think “What’s the point?”. Another day of loitering around the house with no real aims and nothing in the horizon to look forward to now. It’s all very depressing and scary.

no need to become martyrs.

That's the issue, some are relishing in their martyrdom and new hermit lifestyle. It's like a competition of who can be most isolated and it's not healthy or helpful. Lockdown has done what it was meant to and stopped hospitals being overwhelmed. They coped and the nightingale hospitals were barely needed. Why are we now having this push to have a longer than necessary lockdown meaning a much higher death toll from the fallout rather than covid-19?

This 'well I'm fine at home with my family so everyone else should be happy about it' is so selfish. I'm sure those alone, lonely, at risk of dv or harm outweigh those in happy little bubbles.

there's another thread where some people are surprised that New Yorkers have a "high" death rate after lockdown forced them to stay home.

I think a lot of MNers in particular don't know how normal people live. Also the point about family transmission has completely escaped them.

onedayinthefuture - people aren't enjoying lockdown because they are bitter . Many people are enjoying lockdown because they are working less, spending more time with their dc, having time to do things they enjoy etc, not because they are jealous of people's holidays! . Also some people with stress or social anxiety are enjoying the lack of pressure to socialise. People are just enjoying the silver linings that lockdown has brought. That doesn't mean they are envious and bitter, or that they want lockdown to carry on forever!

some are relishing in their martyrdom and new hermit lifestyle.

but most of us haven't a hermit lifestyle... I don't feel on house arrest, because I am not! It's shit I can't jump in a plane and go away, but I am hardly stuck at home at least within my country.

YANBU, it's a miserable existence for many

OneandTwenty. It is people like you who are making me hate MN

Oneday You seem to get it and that is a chink of light in this blackness

Minorchord

apologies if you are in Spain or similar, but if you are in the UK, you might have been given the wrong guidelines, you are not obliged to be locked in 24 hours a day!

you are not obliged to be locked in 24 hours a day!
I am locked inside my fucking head because my friends are all far away I hate every single day of this apology for a life and going out for walks doesn't make up for the socialising I crave. If you want to help please stop posting on here. If you don't I'll conclude you just want to piss me off further and that in my book will make you beneath contempt