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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children of essential workers in school

104 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/05/2020 23:02

need an AIBU reality check

My DH is an essential worker and when the lockdown started we were offered a place at DS2's primary school. We declined as I was at home and didn't need or want to send my 10 yo boy to school unless absolutely necessary. I have been WFH for the whole time.

I have a friend in the exact same position and had something of an argument with her as she decided to send her 10 yo son (and secondary daughters) to school as she found WFH difficult with her children there.

She is still sending her children to school and I find it almost irresponsible. She is putting her children and the teachers at risk because she wants some peace and quiet.

However please tell me if I am way off the mark with this? Maybe I am being over cautious

OP posts:
Tigertrees · 04/05/2020 23:05

Unless you do the same job as her and have the same dc, you can't judge.
I wouldn't do it myself unless it could not be avoided though, so I agree with you on that.

AndMyHairWillShineLikeTheSea · 04/05/2020 23:05

You're being ridiculous. If she's been offered a place it's because she's allowed one. Just because you choose not to send your children doesn't mean you get to decide for other people's children.

Devlesko · 04/05/2020 23:06

YABU, and a sticky beak.
HTH

ScubaSteven · 04/05/2020 23:06

If this is the situation then she’s a selfish twat.

However, could there be a possibility that the children are classed as ‘at risk’ and therefore encouraged to be in school?

WorraLiberty · 04/05/2020 23:07

As I said on the other million and one threads on this exact same subject...

You do yours and let others do theirs.

The school is offering the place, the parents are accepting the place for their own personal reasons.

starrynight19 · 04/05/2020 23:08

If I could keep my children at home I would. Especially given they are 10 and of secondary age.
Unless there are any other circumstances that mean they couldn’t be at home that you haven’t disclosed I agree with you.

WorraLiberty · 04/05/2020 23:08

And no you're not being 'over cautious' you're being plain judgemental.

ScubaSteven · 04/05/2020 23:09

All children of keyworkers are ‘offered’ a place though, but that place should only be taken up if there is no one at home during the day. Using school so that a parent can WFH is putting the staff and students at the school at a greater risk.

Underhisi · 04/05/2020 23:11

And they wonder why vulnerable children are not being sent in.

Fedup21 · 04/05/2020 23:12

I wouldn’t take the place up if I could WFH-it’s an unnecessary risk.

I fully expect the government to start encouraging KW to send their children in as if next week as they want to up the numbers of children in schools.

No way would my child be a guinea pig like that if they could stay at home.

Original poster
FunnysInLaJardin · 04/05/2020 23:14

OK, so a mix of responses. The DC are not at risk at all.

OP posts:
VashtaNerada · 04/05/2020 23:15

This shouldn’t be happening. At our school the Head is absolutely clear that children should only go in if both parents are key workers and out of the house (or one if it’s a single parent family). We are both key workers in my house but I’m lucky enough to be able to WFH at the moment so of course the children are home with me. It’s not ideal, and combining home schooling with work is really hard, but that’s what everyone has to do right now.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 04/05/2020 23:15

Maybe she judged that, for her kids, it was better for their mental wellbeing? Who knows?

It’s not your business as others have said. Friends of mine whose other half is not a key worker have kept the kids home but everyone’s situation is different.

Smileyaxolotl1 · 04/05/2020 23:16

Yanbu -
It has been very clear in literature sent home that children of key workers should only be sent in if there is no one else to look after them at home.
Your friend is taking the piss.

CrocodileFrock · 04/05/2020 23:17

If the school have agreed to take the children, it's really no one else's business.

I say that as someone who goes into school on a rota basis to help provide childcare during lockdown. Part of our goal is to support the school's families and children. Having people judge them for taking up the offer of a place is not at all helpful.

Tigertrees · 04/05/2020 23:17

Sorry, so the friend is not a key worker herself? Then she shouldn't be doing it.

cornersteps · 04/05/2020 23:20

However please tell me if I am way off the mark with this? Maybe I am being over cautious

No. You are being over judgy. You do what's right for your family and stay out of others.

scrivette · 04/05/2020 23:21

The children may have been classed as vulnerable (there are a few reasons as to why this may be) and therefore the school has allowed them to go in.

DM1209 · 04/05/2020 23:25

Key worker here, Legal/Justice System.
No I cannot do remote hearings, client interviews, drafting, talking to the other side and collating/discussing often very distressing evidence with my 3 children (2 primary, yr1 and yr3) around so I send them to school even though technically, I am at home!!!

So unless you live her life, I suggest you find something worthwhile to get your knickers in a twist about.

pinkrocker · 04/05/2020 23:26

Also bear in mind if they have an EHCP they'd have been offered a place too.

edwinbear · 04/05/2020 23:26

I’m an essential worker and was eligible for a place at DC’s school. I decided not to send mine in but other parents have and I’ve not given it a second thought as to why they made a different decision to me.

Original poster
FunnysInLaJardin · 04/05/2020 23:27

DH is a teacher and when the school rang me to ask if I was taking the place for DS2 they were very clear that it was only if it was essential and not for childcare.

I'm afraid that my view still is that the person in question is being entirely selfish and putting her DC and the teachers at risk.

OP posts:
Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 04/05/2020 23:29

DM1209 you have my sympathies doing that job at the moment. That was my job until a couple of years ago.

I remember realising when my eldest learned to read that everything had to be locked up from then on.

Original poster
FunnysInLaJardin · 04/05/2020 23:29

If you have young children that is a different matter. Hers as are mine are late primary and secondary. Very able to allow their parents the peace to WFH

OP posts:
Oct18mummy · 04/05/2020 23:31

I’ve had that a friend who is very loosely a key worker and her husband (Not a key worker) both working from home sending kids in because they can’t possibly wfh with kids around and then said anyone who Is wfh and looking after their kids at home clearly hasn’t got enough work to do!! What do you think the majority of the population is doing right now!!! Just logging off from my laptop at ten pm