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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really sad that Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman have separated.

182 replies

blueglassandfreesias · 04/05/2020 16:42

Officially cabin fevered now but I have followed both of their careers and always felt slightly that Neil Gaiman held all the power since AP had their child 4 years ago. She posts often about how much she loves him, he never does this.
They were in lockdown in New Zealand together then suddenly he left to hid house in Scotland.
I feel really sorry for her stuck in a country with their child, heartbroken and unable to face to face sort it all out with her husband.

OP posts:
vanillandhoney · 04/05/2020 16:54

They always seemed like a very odd coupling to me. I've never been a huge fan of Amanda Palmer, but I love Neil's books and own all of them. Neverwhere is probably my favourite novel of all time (can't wait for the sequel).

That said, they have a young son so that's always sad.

OhLook · 04/05/2020 16:54

You don't know anything at all about their lives apart from the odd tweet of whatever, that could be a load of crap anyway. It's so, so weird that you've made up a whole scenario and believe it enough to voice it on here.

AlternativePerspective · 04/05/2020 16:56

Have never heard of them either but whenever I see people posting about how much they love their partner etc etc I wonder who it is they’re trying to convince.

And saying that you are sad for someone because this and that will be happening to them and they must be broken hearted etc is pure projection as you have absolutely no idea who is feeling what and how. Maybe she’s a bitch and he decided to ltb. Maybe she’s well rid. Who knows. Or cares.....

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 04/05/2020 16:57

I have been a die hard Neil Gaiman fan since the 90s, before he was popular. I still love his work.

But fuck me if he didn’t turn into a Wokerati prick after marrying AP. And apparently they are all polyamarous together and just as cool as cool. It never struck me as the healthiest of relationships.

It also bothers me how much he mentions Ash and not his other three children. And the fact that he is a multi millionaire but her whole shtick on social media is asking for money to crowdfund her ‘art’.

They leave me cold.

minettechatouette · 04/05/2020 17:01

Gahh yeah you do wonder when agreeing to an 'open marriage' is a last ditch attempt by a wife to get a husband to stay. I'm sure it's not always like this in open marriages but at least sometimes it is.

CheshireChat · 04/05/2020 17:01

I lover her music and could never get into his books actually. I'm surprised he's back in the UK, he wasn't a massive fan some years back, disliked some nanny state aspects quite vehemently.

I remember she says she's quite open and wants to discuss her feelings etc and that it was partially the reason the Dresden Dolls are no longer Sad

minettechatouette · 04/05/2020 17:02

I also think NG is massively overrated so no love lost for him on that front.

purpleheathers · 04/05/2020 17:02

Pretty sure they don't live in NZ, they just happened to be there when lockdown happened

That's lucky, I'd have stayed there if I was fortunate enough to be there.

PenCreed · 04/05/2020 17:04

I think the "open marriage" was there from the start, I definitely saw her tweet a reference to it some years ago.

There was a weird interview with them a few years ago in the Guardian which says quite a lot about their relationship: www.theguardian.com/music/2013/dec/08/amanda-palmer-neil-gaiman-audience-geek-royalty

fronttoback · 04/05/2020 17:09

Sorry, but... who?

THEDEACON · 04/05/2020 17:09

I am another one who has no idea who they are but if I did what was happening in their lives would be of no interest to me

zscaler · 04/05/2020 17:10

I’m amazed at how many posters have never heard of Neil Gaiman. Good Omens, Stardust, American Gods, Coraline, The Ocean at the End of the Lane - all by Gaiman!

minettechatouette · 04/05/2020 17:10

Why are all these people who don't care about other people's lives hanging out on AIBU???

JustTurtlesAllTheWayDown · 04/05/2020 17:11

But fuck me if he didn’t turn into a Wokerati prick
Me too.He's become quite full of himself and has said some unpleasant stuff about women on Twitter while virtue signalling his arse off.
Can't be bothered with him anymore.

pussycatinboots · 04/05/2020 17:11

Who?
You care that much about someone you don't even know ??

PineappleDanish · 04/05/2020 17:11

I have no idea who they are. But I wouldn't ever feel sad about celebs who I don't know personally.

Lockheart · 04/05/2020 17:13

Are you actually sad about two people you don't know breaking up or do you just want to spread the gossip about it?

Imtootired · 04/05/2020 17:18

She is incredibly annoying and pretentious but I guess it’s a sad situation ? shrugs

vanillandhoney · 04/05/2020 17:18

I'm quite surprised at how few people have heard of Neil Gaiman, he's pretty huge in literary terms.

He wrote the books behind Neverwhere, Coraline, Good Omens and American Gods, all of which have been converted into TV shows or films.

OrangeCinnamon · 04/05/2020 17:22

It is all very sad but who are we to judge/comment ? He has asked for privacy.

For those that don't know her/about her/of her

Amanda Palmer playing Radiohead on the Ukulele is an oddly joyous thing

lazylinguist · 04/05/2020 17:22

I like Gaiman's books but I find it utterly baffling that anyone could feel sad about the ending of a relationship between two people they don't actually know personally. Confused I mean... they are two people who have split up. That's a pretty normal thing to happen whether you're famous or not!

SarahAndQuack · 04/05/2020 17:23

I admit to finding her a bit annoying on the quiet. My DP is an enormous fan, which is how I know 1) who she is and 2) that she's married to him.

However, it massively irritates me how she bangs on about the whole 'I need money for my art' angle. My DP has had a patreon donation to her going on for years before we met, and it's one of those things I think is a total con and waste of money. DP went to a concert of hers a few months ago, and came back really delighted but described how she was very drunk while doing her set, and instead of singing new material she'd promised, said she'd sing old favourites on request. Personally, I wouldn't have been thrilled with that, and it does sound as if she wasn't coping terribly well.

Still, who knows, there must be all sorts going on we've no idea about.

Original poster
blueglassandfreesias · 04/05/2020 17:24

Yes I’m interested in other humans. I’m interested in marriages. I’m interested and curious.
Those who aren’t interested and who have come on here to berate me for my curiosity and empathy we’re obviously interested themselves or they wouldn’t have clicked on the thread!
That Guardian article leaves me cold like someone FUTT said he is a millionaire but she always seemed to be cap in hand and worrying about money. There always seems to have been a power imbalance in their relationship in his favour (surprise surprise) and I think she’ll find that she’s a lot happier without him ultimately. (If she ever really had him)

OP posts:
BroomstickOfLove · 04/05/2020 17:24

I'm sad for them, but I'd hate to be in a relationship with either one of them. They both strike me as pretty bad spouse material.

Original poster
blueglassandfreesias · 04/05/2020 17:24

Were**

OP posts: