To not have much sympathy for DH or am I being harsh?

[hermionegrange]

DH keeps waking up feeling nauseous. He has been to dentist and doctor about it over the last five weeks but both have said nothing is wrong, drink plenty of water.

We have a 2.5 year old and a 7 week old.
DH likens the nausea to morning sickness - any thing to do with bins, nappies, dirty plates, crumbs on the counter etc make him feel sick.
Nausea also seems to come on worse in night and in morning. He has been diagnosed with IBS years ago and has flare ups sometimes.

My issue is I am struggling to find any sympathy to give him as he is just whining about it and talking about it CONSTANTLY.

I am utterly exhausted- doing all nappies, potty training, sicky outfit changes for baby, emptying bins, loading dishwasher, cleaning kitchen... plus as breastfeeding all of the night feeds, and night nappies, and night burps (which take the longest). Just so so tired.

I woke DH at 5 this morning and asked if he would hold the baby for an hour to let me get at least an hours sleep as he had been feeding/on me almost all night. DH rolled over to face me and said 'sorry bad news I feel nauseous again' and 'need to sleep it off'

I feel mean for having no sympathy anymore but it's going on soooooooooo long. I feel bloody nauseous from lack of sleep!

Unless he literally says he is too nausous to do nappies but is okay on things like xbox then I am surprised at the lack of sympathy.

Why should we be sympathetic, does he go out to work? My boss couldn't give a fuck about my health problems, all they care about is that I get the job done and don't make any mistakes. I have had days where I can barely walk but get through it and he can't take the baby for a single hour?
Sorry but unless he is terminally ill he is taking the piss.

Given it started around the time the baby was born I'd say it's related to that, if tests havent thrown anything else up concerning, I often feel sick from lack of sleep.

Maybe its psychological if it's to do with the sick/dirty nappies its reminded him of your previous dc as a baby. My dh who never complained of illness ever before kids started constantly talking about feeling ill after our 2nd was born. I had little patience too in the end after all tests came back clear. He didnt realise he was doing it at the time and I'm sure he did feel ill but he has recognised 10 years on its a stress reaction. Stress and depression can often manifest itself physically in people, particularly men who cant accept it is ok to have mental health problems.

Either way, just feeling nauseous isnt reason enough to not do his fair share, how does he think womenvsufferingvfrom morning sickness cope !! We still have to carry on. He needs to pull his weight either with baby or the older dc.

fronttoback's diagnosis seems spot on.

Lazybastarditis

It strikes whenever there's an unattractive activity to do yet mysteriously vanishes when a sporting event or other desirable social event occurs. The miraculous recovery then stops when an unattractive activity rears it's head. It seems most common in men and more common to those that don't enjoy sharing family responsibilities.

There is a difference between feeling sick and actually being sick. Men seem to have very sensitive tummies and fail to distinguish this or to take appropriate medicines to aid their recovery.

It's possible he is genuinely sick but the OP probably judge best if it's attention seeking / laziness.

I sympathise with your husband. I had terrible IBS that got worse a few years ago and had nausea 24/7. Also constant headaches. Everything I ate made me nauseaus. It resembled nothing like my pregnancy nausea for sure much worse. I certainly couldn't do anything around the house and struggled to take care of my child. I felt like my world had ended. The Fodmaps diet is great for identifying which foods upset your gut. It's the only thing that helped me identify the issue and recover. And not the people or doctors telling me it's psychological.