To not have much sympathy for DH or am I being harsh?

[hermionegrange]

DH keeps waking up feeling nauseous. He has been to dentist and doctor about it over the last five weeks but both have said nothing is wrong, drink plenty of water.

We have a 2.5 year old and a 7 week old.
DH likens the nausea to morning sickness - any thing to do with bins, nappies, dirty plates, crumbs on the counter etc make him feel sick.
Nausea also seems to come on worse in night and in morning. He has been diagnosed with IBS years ago and has flare ups sometimes.

My issue is I am struggling to find any sympathy to give him as he is just whining about it and talking about it CONSTANTLY.

I am utterly exhausted- doing all nappies, potty training, sicky outfit changes for baby, emptying bins, loading dishwasher, cleaning kitchen... plus as breastfeeding all of the night feeds, and night nappies, and night burps (which take the longest). Just so so tired.

I woke DH at 5 this morning and asked if he would hold the baby for an hour to let me get at least an hours sleep as he had been feeding/on me almost all night. DH rolled over to face me and said 'sorry bad news I feel nauseous again' and 'need to sleep it off'

I feel mean for having no sympathy anymore but it's going on soooooooooo long. I feel bloody nauseous from lack of sleep!

Hand him the baby and a bucket, advise him to throw up in the bucket, not over the baby. Suggest he'll probably feel better sitting up. Exit bedroom for your shower and breakfast with your toddler. Leave him an hour at least.

If he's earing normally, i.e. having whatever he normally has for breakfast, he's swinging the lead. If his appetite is gone and he's losing weight, he needs a GP appointment urgently.

Oh FFS, he's bloody at it! You have a seven-week old and diddums is upset that your attention is not on him - boo fucking hoo! If he's not actually vomiting, he can get on with being a parent. Like normal adults do.

Has he had his hearing checked?
I had a period of feeling dizzy and nauseous. I had my hearing checked, all seemed ok. I was also advised to drink more water (not in other drinks, plain). I made an effort to down a couple of pints in the morning and a couple of pints in the early afternoon and I’m fine now.

Hi there - I haven't read the whole thread I will admit but I am shocked at how much venom this chap is getting on here.

Unless he literally says he is too nausous to do nappies but is okay on things like xbox then I am surprised at the lack of sympathy.

I suffer from horrendous nausea - desperate to actually vomit so it can be over. Mine has been going for about 12 years and been fobbed off for most of them by GP/Consultants etc - at the moment they are claiming it is migraine (sometimes without the headache) and a problem with the nerve that stimulates the nausea feeling.

When it is in it's worst stage I liken it to being absolutely hammered and every single time you move the room is spinning and you feel so sick you can't even get your head off the pillow.

When it hits me (often) I literally can't do a thing for a couple of days usually.

Got all sorts of anti-sickness stuff but not many things work and if they work once they are not guaranteed to work again.

If he is missing out on stuff that he LIKES to do because of it then surely a break should be given?

If he's fine for eating his tea and watching telly but can't "help" then that's a different story....

Context is certainly king here. How sick, can’t move, or can’t help?

I discovered quite recently that if you have low blood sugar, it makes you feel sick. This is why if you are in hospital after an op, they will insist you eat some dry toast. So is your OH skipping breakfast?

Do you think it is a physical manifestation of emotional sickness op? Could consider psychotherapy?

@alittlequinnie have the doctors discounted Meniere's disease in your case? Which comes first, the dizziness or the vomiting?

@alittlequinnie sorry if it's already been checked, but that sounds exactly like menieres to me - it runs in my family

BelfryBat - Jinx!
Worth a check at least

He is milking it sorry.

I am not saying he is not feeling nauseous but this has never stopped any woman to look after her kids or remove the crumbs from the table.
So yes HE needs to find the casue and atm it wont be easy.
But that is NOT a reason good enough to leave in the shit the way he is.

Op, Is your dh eating well.?
If he is ,I would be cynical about his supposed nausea. In fact, I am cynical about it. He’s trying to escape doing the ‘dirty work’
Even if he’s genuinely unwell, he should still make the effort to help you out with the baby.

Have you tried “Peptobismol” Op? It’s ghastly stuff ( but don’t tell him that!) smells like liquid Germolene, but if you wallop it down quick, it’s ok. I’ve always found it works for general sicky feeling, trapped wind, reflux etc. Sometimes when GP changes my pills, I feel nauseous til my body gets used to them, and this stuff helps. It also worked on a whingey DP of mine...😉
Has your Dh tried sleeping slightly more upright?
Do you smell a (lazy) rat, Op?
Insisting on dosing him with this, every time he starts moaning often cures them, I found...
And nausea does not cause paralysis with regard to helping in the house...
Good Luck!!

Sorry, meant to say, you can buy this stuff in chemists everywhere... You can’t miss the hideous pink colour! Around £4/5 a bottle IIRC x

A woman with pregnancy sickness is generally expected to suck it up and pitch in, regardless.

He should be doing the same AND seeking help if he's really feeling that poorly.

Funny he can't help with any of the drudgery and feels sickest when the children need support in the morning and at dinner/bedtime. And the smelliest stuff in the middle.

He can. He's choosing not to. I'd be furious, even if that makes me unsympathetic, because he's happily running you into the ground while he 'sleeps it off'. bollocks to that!

Is this unusual for him? Sounds like he needs more tests.
My best friend's dh felt awful for a month. She took him to the doctor and the doctor said it was just a virus and he would be fine. A month later he died. When they opened him up he was riddled with cancer.
I would not assume he is taking the piss. He needs to see the doctor again and request more tests.

Please drag him to a GP. You both need to find out what's wrong with him, as it could be something serious. It could also, more likely, not be serious. Either way, he needs to find out how to treat it.

Then he holds the baby while feeling sick. Breastfeeding and night feeds just after giving birth is not exactly a walk in the park either but you get on with it.

He is absolutely milking it, some men pull this after birth because god forbid your the centre of attention. The fact he couldn’t even give you an hour should zap your last ounce of sympathy from him.

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily - that made LOL!!! Brilliant.

Perhaps is sympathic morning sickness.. Maybe your pregnant again? There was 9nmonths between 2 of my sisters.. Either that or he doesn't want to deal with the crap

As the the Scot's woud say............ Aye Right

He needs a prescription for ondastron at least while they figure it out. Magic stuff

You don't have two children you have three. One of them is a big pathetic whiney one.
If I can work full time in the NHS with a chronic painful joint disease and half of my stomach missing he can take the damned baby for an hour or two.

Yeah no.

I was nauseous from week 8 to week 17 of my pregnancy every day. I still went to work full time and did housework.

A few months ago, I felt really sick for a couple of days. I still got my son to nursery every day, came home and worked for a bit.

It's doable to do stuff around the house if you're motivated and not taking the absolute piss.