To not have much sympathy for DH or am I being harsh?

[hermionegrange]

DH keeps waking up feeling nauseous. He has been to dentist and doctor about it over the last five weeks but both have said nothing is wrong, drink plenty of water.

We have a 2.5 year old and a 7 week old.
DH likens the nausea to morning sickness - any thing to do with bins, nappies, dirty plates, crumbs on the counter etc make him feel sick.
Nausea also seems to come on worse in night and in morning. He has been diagnosed with IBS years ago and has flare ups sometimes.

My issue is I am struggling to find any sympathy to give him as he is just whining about it and talking about it CONSTANTLY.

I am utterly exhausted- doing all nappies, potty training, sicky outfit changes for baby, emptying bins, loading dishwasher, cleaning kitchen... plus as breastfeeding all of the night feeds, and night nappies, and night burps (which take the longest). Just so so tired.

I woke DH at 5 this morning and asked if he would hold the baby for an hour to let me get at least an hours sleep as he had been feeding/on me almost all night. DH rolled over to face me and said 'sorry bad news I feel nauseous again' and 'need to sleep it off'

I feel mean for having no sympathy anymore but it's going on soooooooooo long. I feel bloody nauseous from lack of sleep!

Also, I think the PP's comment regarding ovarian cancer was that it may be something more serious and it's important not to except simply feeling rough as part of every day life, but to get it checked out fully in case. They obviously aren't suggesting it is cancer of the ovaries in a man.

Has he actually been sick?

I seem to remember that one of the unique joys of being a SAHP (and of parenthood generally, with little ones) is the lack of sick leave. You just have to get up and get on with is, however dreadful you feel - and regardless of whether you are actually vomiting!

In the meantime, he could do the non smelly jobs?

Meal planning and supermarket shopping online
Laundry, including putting away
Tidying
Hoovering
Cleaning the bathroom
Mopping floors
Mowing lawn
Bills stuff and household admin, although it’s tempting to spend too long on this if you’re so inclined, so maybe not.
Ordering anything else online

That looks like about half to me?

Sorry haven't rtwt.

I've suffered from bouts of extreme nausea on and off for years, no reason and tbf it is a lot like morning sickness. However it has never absolved me from doing stuff. I feel sick regardless of if I'm changing a nappy or trying to sleep it off. So no sympathy from me, he needs to get on with it.

He’s a lazy fuck and even if he is nauseous, he’s still a lazy prick that’s using it to do fuck all. Like the previous poster, I suffer from chronic nausea and have done for years. I just have to get on with it. Get him anti nausea tablets, keep some beside the bed, with water and hand them straight to him, with the baby. You might as well be a single parent, for the ducking use he is.

He could be putting it on, after all no one likes dirty nappies or doing the bins do they?

But taking it at face value I do think he needs to consider going back to the doctor. My brother was mistakenly diagnosed with IBS a few years ago, and after 6 months of him barely leaving his room, feeling sick, feeling depressed and just watching constant TV my mum forced him off to the GP. He had blood tests and they found he has coeliac disease (needs to be on a gluten free diet) which apparently can be mistaken easily for IBS. The symptoms started going away within a few weeks of changing his diet and now 6 months later he's like a new man.

If you feel he is genuinely feeling nauseous then maybe suggest that he has bloods done to rule out certain illnesses? He needs to do something because its not fair that all the works on you.

Tell him to order these and ask the pharmacy for some travel sickness tablets. He might have a problem with his inner ear so he could see GP to check for that.

I’ve had this and it took a couple of years to get diagnosed

Labyrinthitis is an inner ear disorder. The two vestibular nerves in your inner ear send your brain information about your spatial navigation and balance control. When one of these nerves becomes inflamed, it creates a condition known as labyrinthitis. Symptoms include dizziness, nausea, and loss of hearing.

JKscot4. You just reminded me of the dressing gown of doom thread. 😂

He needs to understand sickness unfortunately doesn’t stop a parent of young children functioning. You just get on with it.

His behaviour would really piss me off. A partner is supposed to give you strength, but become another liability

He needs full bloods done ASAP private or nhs.

There are some good wellness blood panels online.

You must be exhausted with a newborn, I would not have coped without my husbands help with a newborn. He needs to let you get a sleep during the day at least.

Could be;

Indigestion/acid reflux
Post nasal drip
Ear infection/Menieres Disease
Migraine
Dehydration
A problem with his neck
Low blood sugar

Whilst some of these are helped by standard hangover nausea cures such as a bottle of original Lucosade and a bacon roll, not all of them will. And to have them can be utterly miserable.

In the absence of the doctor being unable to find anything whatsoever wrong with him, I hereby diagnose:

Lazybastarditis.

DH likens the nausea to morning sickness hmm- any thing to do with bins, nappies, dirty plates, crumbs on the counter etc make him feel sick.
Fuck's sake! When I read this I thought maybe the post was one of those light-hearted ones where someone complains about their partner claiming not to be able to do certain tasks but they can do other things which they enjoy. Then I realized it was a serious post......

What's he like with other things? Is he nauseous when watching TV/playing X-box/doing whatever other activity he enjoys.

I wouldn't have any sympathy for the constant moaning either. Frankly, I think it sounds like an excuse to get out of doing anything he doesn't want to do. If it's really that bad he needs to be back at the doctor's, possibly asking to see another GP and pushing until he gets tests and an answer. He should also ask for anti-nausea medication.

any thing to do with bins, nappies, dirty plates, crumbs on the counter etc make him feel sick.

I use to work in child psychology as as secretary. We saw lots of children with nausea and it was stopping them attending school, eating out or eating certain foods etc. Psychology sessions worked great for them. Things that would be looked at are exposure therapy, talking about anxiety and how to manage the feeling of nausea. Something to consider

Just to throw another possibility out there - has he got PND? I did and often dreamt of throwing a sickie or even having a small op that required a general just so I could have some time off from being mum. Sounds mad looking back on it!

As others have said this could be any number of conditions. Trying things for indigestion and silent reflux can't do any harm. Change of diet , and making sure to cut caffeine and not to eat 3 hours before going to bed. Raise the head of the bed, keep a food diary and a note of when nausea is better or worse. Sleep apnea can also cause nausea and can develope at anytime. He needs to push the gp to try some simple remedies and see if they help. He needs to persevere with anything he's given.

I recommend colon irrigation. Clear him out and his ibs and nausea will improve. Also cranial oesto as trapped nerves in neck going to stomach can be loosened.

Christ. I get a kind of nausea which sounds really similar to his. Drs can’t find any cause and there’s a lot of fobbing off when I go in.

However I still do everything that needs to be done! Single, working parent so I kind of have to (albeit no babies).

Perhaps he has the equivalent of postpartum depression.

www.psycom.net/postpartum-depression-in-men

I have this and the only things that helps is Stugeon Travel sickness pills.

I’ve been pregnant with a toddler and I was like 5 times a day all the way through- I still got up and went to work until 39 weeks and pulled my weight at home. He needs to step up!

I recommend colon irrigation.

Well, he definitely sounds like he’s full of shit.

And was sick 5 time’s a day*