To find DH's lockdown beard repulsive?

[Blueblackrose]

I can't get past the fact that to me it looks like black and grey wirey pubes. He knows I don't like it, I've told him it looks all spikey and pubey. I've not gone near him in weeks and find the beard so unpleasant to look at I don't look at DH much at all now. I can't imagine kissing him it makes my stomach turn.

I'm surprise tbh how strong a reaction I've had to it- repulsion really - but in the 25 years we've been together he's never had any facial hair so I've never had to see it before.

My dh decided to grow one about 6 months ago. I am not a fan in general but when it was short and just covering his chin I actually found it quite attractive.

In lockdown he's growing it and it's now about 4/5 inches long. I hate it. I think it makes him look scruffy and ages him.

He knows I'm not a fan but it's not my face and it's not my choice. Of course I still kiss him and would still shag him (if we could ever get any kind of privacy). He likes my hair longer than I do. Sometimes I keep it long for him but often I cut it because it's my hair.

Absolutely your choice not to anywhere near it though. I had exactly that standoff with DP once during "Movember". He cracked before I did.

I do find this interesting.

What would opinion be if a man told his wife that he wouldn't have sex unless she shaved? I think many would be outraged and accuse him of being controlling or emotionally abusive.

Blurgh! Mr Twit!

I usually have a beard, so far this lock down I’ve had handbar and lamb chops, 70’s pornstar tache, Chris Kamara style tache. I was going to do a Craig David next but I’ve been asked to reinstall the pornstar with added stubble.

I find beards sexually repulsive. DP knows that. If he grew one I would take it as a sign that he no longer wants me anywhere near him. He'd be within his rights to grow one and I'd be within my rights to leave him. But if he didn't want to split up, it would be less melodramatic for him just to have a shave.

Wow splitting up over facial hair really?

Some men look good with beards but some just don't.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras Yes, I know, and I've thought that too... and you're right, I very probably would say that if a man told me to shave my fanny. I can't rationalise it any further than to say that facial hair on a man is something I find a complete turn off and the thought of kissing a bearded man makes me gag. Can't explain it, it just does. Fortunately I've never been in the position of a man expressing similar distaste for my natural body hair, so I haven't had to address the dichotomy. I do take the point though.

YANBU

My DH is currently in the throes of growing a beard and I hate it. I hate looking it and I won’t kiss him whilst he’s got one because it’s such a turn-off.....kissing just isn’t enjoyable when his mouth is surrounded by hair.

I have a similar lock down post menopausal lady beard. I must remember to deal with it before I go to work tomorrow morning.
But yes it sounds horrible, like the one Graham Norton now sports - ghastly grey pube beard. I always shriek "shave it off" at the tv.

What @kingjarvis said.

If this was a man repulsed at his wife not shaving he would be burnt to the ground.

I'd be filing for divorce. I have a phobia of beards courtesy of reading the Twits as a child. They make me feel physically ill. As pp said it's his right to have one, and your right to refuse to go near him. You've said he doesn't care about your feelings and that's the main issue here.

My dad grew a moustache when I was younger and my mum served him with divorce papers he shaved it off.

I agree with you OP.

I would tell him he looks terrible, you don't fancy him, and he needs to shave it.

Sounds like he needs a shock to the system.

I think it's a very, very extreme reaction. I reckon if you had posted here with your DP saying that he finds you repulsive because you hadn't shaved your legs it would not go down so well.

Yabu I love beards 🤷🏻‍♀️

DH is very “anti-beard” of which I am glad!

I reckon if you had posted here with your DP saying that he finds you repulsive because you hadn't shaved your legs it would not go down so well

Only because mumsnet always always sides with the woman.

What if OP was a man and said he found a part of his DW’s body repulsive ?🤔 double standards...

Why is it double standards? A man is allowed to be repulsed by something just as much as a woman is.

If a man demanded a woman remove body hair because he found it repulsive, he’d be rightly lynched.

Absolutely love facial hair on a man

Some of the poster seem to think this is an empowerment issue taking pride in deriding their partners in what is presumably their preferred look, but its not, it not even so much about being shallow - although obviously it is. It is about being supported and respected in an equitable relationship If I came home with an outfit or hairstyle I like and my DH said he would with draw finances until I changed it, would all those posters be in agreement with him?
Or more likely would it rightly being called controlling and manipulative.This is exactly the same.
You have the right to not like the beard, but only in an abusive relationship would actively punish the person for making a choice about their own look which you didn't like.
I am sure there will be a lot of the hypocrites on here who scream its not the same, but it really is and certainly not something anyone wants to be done to them in a relationship

He'll have to shave it off in time as you can't wear a mask properly with one.

His body his choice? Well not really, his wife has to look at it (and kiss him). It's very different from armpit or leg hair. And it's really disgusting when beards catch food.

I’ve never seen my DH without a very full (but not long) beard. It’s fine by me.
However, you really don’t like your DH beard and I think he really should get rid of it. You can’t help not liking it.