To be surprised a wedding is going ahead on 1st Aug?

[KotoMoto]

We have been invited to a wedding on 1st August and need to RSVP. Today the bride has reminded everyone the RSVP deadline is next week. I was very surprised that it is definitely still going ahead and that there's been no mention of Coronavirus / social distancing or acknowledgement that things may or may not be possible by then. It's in a church followed by a hotel with a large number of guests. The venue is a good 200 miles from the bride's side of the family so people will need to travel, book hotels etc.

We're "vulnerable" so keeping an eye on things means it's tricky to confirm at this stage, but aside from that DH thinks not everyone is as negative as me about the outlook and it's not surprising it's going ahead. AIBU to be surprised that a wedding is going ahead on 1st August?

I’d be very surprised, but I guess they are to continue as though it is going ahead until the venues cancel/the government says something definite.

YANBU. Even if by some miracle we're completely back to normal (I don't believe we will be), I can't imagine many people would be jumping for joy at the thought of mingling with loads of acquaintances in just 3 months.

I wouldn't be convinced it would go ahead. Ireland have laid out their plan for coming out of lockdown and large gatherings are in phase 5 - Aug 10th.

This was on BBC news site today, although he answers the question for a July wedding:

Prof Jason Leitch, Scotland's national clinical director, is on BBC Radio Scotland's Off The Ball for the sixth successive Saturday, answering questions from listeners:

Q: My wedding is due in July with more than 80 guests, should I cancel it?

A: Yes, you should. I'd love to be wrong, but I can't see a way of 80 people being allowed in the same room by July. It might be a small wedding instead and postpone a larger gathering until later.

Thing is,wedding venues are refusing to issue refunds so it’s likely that they want to proceed as if it is still going ahead otherwise there’s a chance they’ll be out of pocket for no reason....

They’re being positive and optimistic. Just remind them that you are vulnerable. Personally, I would just decline.

I'm going to a wedding in 8 weeks. It's not been cancelled yet. I'll be going if it's allowed to happen.

You don't have to go if you're vulnerable, decline if you want.

If you're vulnerable then how could you go and not be at risk?

Personally I'd cancel.

YANBU to be surprised that the wedding is going ahead. You would be crazy to attend it, given the circumstances!

The venue won't be issuing refunds or changing dates yet so they will have to continue as normal until told otherwise

It won't go ahead but I'd just decline at this point anyway

I’d go if it was allowed. If I was shielding then maybe not but I would have thought most people would be fine but you obviously have to make your own decision. If I was her I’d do the same thing. Some people will go and some will decide not to. We won’t be in full lockdown by August

We're "vulnerable" so keeping an eye on things means it's tricky to confirm at this stage,

It depends on your definition.

I'm vulnerable and have cancelled all ideas of travelling/attending functions for the next year.

Venues have only canceled weddings until the end of June where we are. My husband is in the industry.

ATM July/August/September weddings are still planned to go ahead. I'm doubtful they will be allowed.

Venues are refusing the refund but don't realise they legally have to if they do then they are being shady. Any supplier has to refund now for cancellations due to the pandemic.

Unfortunately if the july/August weddings cancel before the government issue the continued lockdown then the couple are not entitled to the refund as they broke it off before the pandemic cancellation happens so everyone is going ahead as it stands.

You haven’t RSVP’d yet so just say you can’t go, it will probably be cancelled anyway.

My dd is supposed to be getting married in June. She wants to reschedule obviously.

The registry office refuse to cancel her ceremony and if she cancels she will not only lose £600.00 but they also refuse to allow her to book a new date. The registrar is imo being very unreasonable and is forcing a waiting game onto couples who are stressed enough.
My friend’s dd is having a church wedding and the vicar is much more accommodating.
I think my dd will marry in December if she can but even that is more hopeful than certain so August will either be just a few family members or won’t happen.

Odd that she's pushing for the RSVP deadline. Honestly, if I was waiting for the venue to cancel I'd be throwing my best guess at them if they'd demanded it, and told everyone else that I was waiting for the venue to postpone for me so I could get money back. I do know loads of venues cancelling and not giving refunds, and charging for the postpones/reschedules which is just vile IMO.

You have been invited not summoned OP.
Frankly in your place, vulnerable I would not attend. Simply because lockdown might be lessened in 3 months does not really make you much safer, IMO.
You are definitely within your rights to refuse the invitation, if you feel more comfortable/safer doing so. Your husband can decide for himself, even though it may seem quite selfish, I would decide on action I felt comfortable with.

Sorry if this seems selfish.
As to a vaccine, I do not forsee a vaccine in production before April/May of 2021 TBH.
Make a decision you are comfortable with, good luck.

I'm getting married in August. All our suppliers are saying they are happy to go ahead. If we cancel, the wedding insurance won't pay out. We aren't having a gigantic wedding but we can't afford to lose the money. At this point, I still have to fulfil my end of the contract with numbers/food etc for the caterer as though it will go ahead. Yes it sucks. Answer on the basis that it will be allowed - will you want to go at that point? I have sympathy for every bride right now. There are horror stories on the internet of people not qualifying for refunds/exchange because they haven't waited for the guidance. That's poor advice to cancel from the BBC IMHO.

That's FOUR months away, do people seriously think we're all going to be able to lock themselves away for a further four months?

TinRoofRusty

Some people have no choice.

@KotoMoto

Three months away

Sorry, that was meant to be @TinRoofRusty

Well, Chilli, some other people have no choice because they need to pay bills and eat.

You’ll not have been vaccinated by then even if there is a viable one. The question is do you intend to attend and potentially put yourselves at risk? Are you shielding atm? I feel really sorry for people planning their weddings this year. However, health is more important.

@Coffeecak3 which county is dd in ? Because that advice doesnt sound right, jt will be a refund or a reschedule , its not up to indivudual registrars either