To be surprised a wedding is going ahead on 1st Aug?

[KotoMoto]

We have been invited to a wedding on 1st August and need to RSVP. Today the bride has reminded everyone the RSVP deadline is next week. I was very surprised that it is definitely still going ahead and that there's been no mention of Coronavirus / social distancing or acknowledgement that things may or may not be possible by then. It's in a church followed by a hotel with a large number of guests. The venue is a good 200 miles from the bride's side of the family so people will need to travel, book hotels etc.

We're "vulnerable" so keeping an eye on things means it's tricky to confirm at this stage, but aside from that DH thinks not everyone is as negative as me about the outlook and it's not surprising it's going ahead. AIBU to be surprised that a wedding is going ahead on 1st August?

HarrietM87

I really don’t think that you are being unreasonable.
Our daughter is hoping to marry next June (was supposed to be this year, but guess what .......). My husband is vulnerable so we’ve already had the discussion, if a vaccine/treatment isn’t available by then. She adores her dad but not only does she understand why we won’t be there, she’d be distressed if we were.
As a compromise, could your husband and little boy go to the wedding and then somehow isolate from you for two weeks, to show willing?
Sounds a bit ridiculous even as I’m typing but it’s the only solution I can think of 😊

I'd decline. X

That's FOUR months away, do people seriously think we're all going to be able to lock themselves away for a further four months?
I'm sure that we will be under some kind of restriction for at least another four months. Even when restrictions are relaxed, we can't be sure that cases won't start to increase and then a second lockdown will be enforced very quickly.
I can't see this going away anytime soon.

OP, I'd be inclined to say that you'd love to come but given you are in the vunerable group, it may not be safe for you to mix with a large gathering so you can only accept with the proviso that there is no risk to your health. You'll understand if she would prefer you to decline her invitation and hope that she has a lovely day and you'll meet up for a private celebration when the situation is better.

It will all boil down to confidence.

Younger people will care less, but the parents and grandparents may feel vulnerable for a long time to come.

Anyway B+G might have to temper their jollies. My lovely niece and her future husband have cancelled everything for the duration. Was planned for end August.

I would be surprised

I was meant to be getting married end of May

In March our venue shut as business’s did / getting married and reception in same place

I can’t get a new date till they open

The registar is happy to move the wedding free of charge as long new date within a year

Which hope it is lol

Wedding can happen up to 5 people. Bride groom minister and 2 witness over 18

But obv no guests or reception

My wedding’s also planned for 1st August... We haven’t sent out invitations yet and are still waiting to see what we’re allowed. Planned a big wedding but if we can have 30 people I’d be delighted now. You shouldn’t feel bad about declining at all, just explain you can’t risk it. I’m expecting some of our guests to decline because of health reasons. Btw we can’t really postpone ours - DF is in army and has a job coming up that we need to be married for. So if we end up with an empty church and a back garden bbq I’ll just go with it.

“That's FOUR months away, do people seriously think we're all going to be able to lock themselves away for a further four months”

Some people will have to, yes. Those that don’t have to will have to observe social distancing for a long tine, not sure how that works in a packed church/party venue.

Seems a lot of people still aren’t understanding just what a long old slog this is going to be. It isn’t going to go away just because people have had enough.

I’ve seen some news sites reporting that “mass gatherings” won’t be allowed for up to a year after lockdown ends. Of course it depends what a “mass gathering” is but I’d guess a wedding for 150 would fit the bill. Smaller weddings may be ok.

No way would I go

Celandine,

My neighbour's son was due to get married on 1 August too.

It has now been postponed until September 2021. All happy about that.

Myself and DP had our wedding booked for beginning of July - it has been out back to early next year. Registrar, Venue etc were a extremely understanding and even though our wedding licence expires in November, we did not have to pay a renewal fee

I would be very surprised if a lerge wedding is able to take place in August. I am not in the vulnerable category, but as a previous poster has said I have pretty much written off the rest of this year for plans and travel x

“That’s four months away, do people seriously think we’re all going to be able to lock themselves away for further four months..”

No not lock themselves away for four months, but equally I wouldn’t imagine we’ll be at the big parties and gatherings stage in four months either.

I really feel for those with big weddings planned. I just found out that we’re invited to one at the end of July, but the bride hasn’t sent out invites yet because she doesn’t see the point, but can’t cancel either as the venue won’t.

Meant to say, I’m hoping it’s cancelled- I wouldn’t want to go.

@Coffeecak3
If your DD is getting married in a registry office then why on earth would she lose 600 quid? Registry office ceremony don't usually cost anywhere near that

I'm surprised they are still going ahead with the original 200 guests. I think even if they can have a wedding, it will be for 20 max if they are lucky.

My wedding is next year and from what the government and experts keep saying about social distancing, I'm not sure I'll be allowed the full number to mine. But if we can't, we can't. Simple as really.

Registry wedding do cost £600 + depending on size of room and guests

I am suprised at the brides who are getting married in July and Aug but hadn’t sent their invites out by March before c happened in the uk

Weddings will be allowed again soon but with number limitations there are a minority but still considerable numbers of people in UK for whom a marriage before living together is really important, mainly for religious reasons but not all; so for them a legal or religious ceremony with even a few guests will be preferable to waiting until next year

birth regiustrations will resume quite quickly too I imagine

As some one that was due to get married in June this year I can feel the B&G Pain Here in Ireland up to last week, we were caught between a rock and hard place, Hotel would only allow us to put a back up date up till April of next year ( I really wanted a summer wedding ). So had 1st of Aug put in , but our government announced a timeline plan here last Friday and small weddings are only allowed from August 10th onwards, (only if numbers continue to fall) Hotels and bars not allowed open till then and that's only with limited occupancy. I couldn't take the risk nor deal with the stress of the uncertainty . Before last Friday hotel were not at all accommodating us now today we have been allowed to book June 2021. with no hassle, now trying everyone else to see if they can make it. RSVP if you want to go, decline if you don't want to go. As people say its up to you. Please spare some compassion for the bride and groom , they are going through some stress. These are very stressful times for everyone.

@notthemum she’s not getting married in a registry office, she still needs a registrar at her venue. And on a Saturday for approx 2 hours if you include travelling that is £600.

I just got a wedding invite for August 15th. It has a mention about CV19 and how they will cancel if needed depending on the government instructions. I know they have also ordered the cancellation letters. They are hopeful and will plan accordingly but also know they might have to cancel.

I’ve seen some news sites reporting that “mass gatherings” won’t be allowed for up to a year after lockdown ends
In some European countries that are re-opening have used the mass gatherings to mean over 500 people so music festivals etc. But I'm sure it will be different depending on the country.

I’d RSVP no too. Even if there isn’t a restriction (highly doubtful) lots won’t want to go to a large gathering.

Couples may still be able to take their vows with just witnesses at some point but large weddings will be out for a while I’m sure.

Maybe the whole wedding scene will change and it will return to the smaller gatherings rather then mass parties.

Ireland has published its lockdown exit plan and “large social gatherings” will he allowed in phase 5 from 10 August. Ireland is way ahead of the UK so I guess we can expect it to be later here, but given the government’s track record who knows.

Glad you posted. We’ve been invited to a wedding the end of August which I have major reservations about. Most guests are young so have said they will attend, but I feel really uncomfortable about it.

Ah, I see. Thank you for clearing that up. Can she not find a registrar closer to the venue ?