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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be surprised a wedding is going ahead on 1st Aug?

118 replies

KotoMoto · 02/05/2020 19:24

We have been invited to a wedding on 1st August and need to RSVP. Today the bride has reminded everyone the RSVP deadline is next week. I was very surprised that it is definitely still going ahead and that there's been no mention of Coronavirus / social distancing or acknowledgement that things may or may not be possible by then. It's in a church followed by a hotel with a large number of guests. The venue is a good 200 miles from the bride's side of the family so people will need to travel, book hotels etc.

We're "vulnerable" so keeping an eye on things means it's tricky to confirm at this stage, but aside from that DH thinks not everyone is as negative as me about the outlook and it's not surprising it's going ahead. AIBU to be surprised that a wedding is going ahead on 1st August?

OP posts:
ChickenFight · 05/05/2020 18:55

Registry office wedding here, 30 capacity room, cost of £495.

Ours was booked for July. We've postponed to July 2021.

ChickenFight · 05/05/2020 18:55

That's not including the £5k reception that we've also postponed a year.

VickyEadieofThigh · 05/05/2020 19:07

We're invited to a wedding in Italy in July 2021 and I'm not confident that will happen.

TypingError · 05/05/2020 19:36

That's FOUR months away, do people seriously think we're all going to be able to lock themselves away for a further four months?

Not literally locked away, probably not. I'm not locked away as I go out every day for a walk, and actually went into Boots this morning, obviously socially distancing. However, I won't be playing fast and loose with my health this side of a vaccine or at least a therapeutic drug.
Attending any sort of mass gathering like a wedding is off the cards for me and many others. Going to work to put food on the table is a bit different. Measures can be and are being taken to distance.

TypingError · 05/05/2020 19:57

Couple of commas missing from the last sentence. That's what uncertainty does for you.

drcb83 · 05/05/2020 19:59

Mine is on 19th Sept and we will be cancelling. No way putting 100 people in a small space with some over 70's!!

oblada · 05/05/2020 20:14

Who knows what will happen by then! It's far from straightforward. Yes we may still be facing restrictions/social distancing, or we may not. Some experts are suggesting that the virus is going to 'disappear' pretty swiftly. They may be wrong or may be right. It has happened before so who knows. We may carry on with social distancing until we have a vaccine or the virus may go away and a vaccine will never actually materialise because there won't be a need for it. No point being doom and gloom, let's just see.

Hugglespuffed · 05/05/2020 20:14

I'm bridesmaid in July and I'm feeling the same. They keep talking as if it is happening and I'm praying it won't. I don't mean to be selfish and I can totally understand where they are coming from but I can't even imagine sitting in a coffee shop at the moment let alone attend a wedding. I think their wedding is about 70/ 80 people.
I'm hoping the government lay out a plan which includes weddings as I'm stressing about it to be honest. I'm not going to want to hug anyone.

TypingError · 05/05/2020 22:06

Some experts are suggesting that the virus is going to 'disappear' pretty swiftly

I'm hoping that too. SARS disappeared pretty sharpish. But it wasn't as virulent, it was less easy to pass on. With this one it appears that you can pass it on with no apparent symptoms and it's running riot. We need some discipline to shut it down.

If people can keep up the distancing then it can be wiped out. But if young people (I'm assuming the following quote comes from someone under 25) make statements like

That's FOUR months away, do people seriously think we're all going to be able to lock themselves away for a further four months?

Well, yes. It's the only way to strangle and stop the virus in its tracks.

But you don't have to lock yourself away. Just keep your distance in social and work settings and don't mix households. Don't hold big parties like weddings. Loads of people might catch it and pass it on to other people, some of whom might die from it.

This is a huge and massive ask of the younger generation.
During WW2 young people saw the sense of hiding underground from bombs. So they did it voluntarily to save their arses.
All their DPs had gone off to fight in the war, so they had reason to engage with rules and regulations.

In this threat to humanity, the aggressor is invisible. But no less deadly. I cannot imagine why any person would argue the toss about their human rights and how they are entitled to have large gatherings regardless of the impact it might have on others.

So. to those of you who want to venture out and play fast and loose with your health. Go for it. Let Darwin's law prevail.

Hugglespuffed · 05/05/2020 22:50

Nice generalisation there typingerror
How do you know that is a young person saying that? I've been struggling to get my mum to take non essential shopping trips seriously.

TypingError · 05/05/2020 23:06

It was only a generalisation. I guess that person is a youngster. I might be wrong. I don't mind being wrong. Though I doubt that I am

TypingError · 05/05/2020 23:09

*I've been struggling to get my mum to take non essential shopping trips seriously"

A shopping trip is worlds away from a huge wedding party

TypingError · 05/05/2020 23:11

I went to Boots today to get an emergency prescription for my Sen daughter. I had no option. Nobody else to do it

drcb83 · 06/05/2020 06:15

The people who are not vulnerable - so staying in - will all get it eventually probably. And with only a 0.1% chance of death for the younger age groups I can see why they feel safe to gather. I however cannot justify mixing all those different risk groups together for the sake of a party!

Muh2020 · 06/05/2020 07:01

I doubt it will go ahead.
Think the bride in question needs to have a word with herself.

carltongirl · 06/05/2020 07:34

I would accept but send a message saying you're assuming it will be safe to attend by then. And of course because of the medical advice you might have to cancel if there were still restrictions but of course you hope not. Family member of ours is insistent their September wedding is on and I'm just going with it for now. By then it may well be on but distanced, and will be cancelled anyway. You might as well accept but just note that.

Hugglespuffed · 06/05/2020 08:09

@TypingError I know shopping is different to a wedding, I'm simply making the point that it isn't just young people talking like that. My mum also thinks we are going to be able to go to a uk holiday park next month, I'm young (not under 24 like you quoted, but only a few years older than that) and I had to phone my mum and say 1. I can't believe you're even thinking of it and 2. Even if they are open I don't think I'll want to go.
And this is a trip with other family friends, none of which are in the 'under 24' category (bar 1 baby)

DollyDaph10 · 06/05/2020 09:29

I’m just going along with my friends wedding atm, knowing if it’s not cancelled we will discuss with her closer to the time. The bride likely knows it won’t happen but is stuck until closer to the time.

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