To be surprised a wedding is going ahead on 1st Aug?

[KotoMoto]

We have been invited to a wedding on 1st August and need to RSVP. Today the bride has reminded everyone the RSVP deadline is next week. I was very surprised that it is definitely still going ahead and that there's been no mention of Coronavirus / social distancing or acknowledgement that things may or may not be possible by then. It's in a church followed by a hotel with a large number of guests. The venue is a good 200 miles from the bride's side of the family so people will need to travel, book hotels etc.

We're "vulnerable" so keeping an eye on things means it's tricky to confirm at this stage, but aside from that DH thinks not everyone is as negative as me about the outlook and it's not surprising it's going ahead. AIBU to be surprised that a wedding is going ahead on 1st August?

I doubt there will be "large gathering" weddings (or other similar events like parties etc.) for some time to come.

Social Distancing is not possible.

My dc is invited to a wedding at the end of july. I am hopeful they will get married as its a registry office. But can't imagine the party after will happen, even if they do they will have masses of no shows.
Dc won't be going as they are disabled and vulnerable.

Thing is it’s these kinds of expectations which are going to be damaging to the economy.

Yes there’s a possibility that the wedding won’t go ahead,but three months ago we weren’t where we are now and it’s entirely possible that we won’t be where we are now in three months time either,because in truth nobody knows.

So people wish to go ahead as if life is going to get back to normal. If it doesn’t then they can make alternative arrangements, but expecting people to assume that they can’t act as if things are going ahead is unreasonable.

If venues etc are closed then it would be unreasonable of them to expect people to show up at some party somewhere, but until that happens they’re not unreasonable to look forward at this point,just as you’re not unreasonable not to want to go.

For the PP saying she’s putting everything on hold for the next year at least, while I don’t disagree to an extent and I don’t plan to be going to any major events for the foreseeable either due to being vulnerable,where do you draw that line? I’m currently separated from my DP,my family, do I keep them all away for a year?

If your in the vulnerable category I think you should cancel. It’s going to be a massive stress finding places to stay etc. It will help the bride sort her plans which will enviably need to be made smaller.

I expect by August they will allow small weddings like they did just before lockdown ( 4 people max in the church).

AlternativePerspective,

We are talking about a wedding here. Not your own family situation, which I am sure is difficult.

You will have to make your own decisions about mingling, meeting and so on, like everyone will. Some will be brave and go for it, some will be very cautious and might not.

The B&G probably know full well that the wedding is unlikely to go ahead, but until their venue actually cancel they have to go through the motions, otherwise they won't be refunded. You have a very good reason to decline the invitation regardless.

Of course, but the point is that the bride and groom to be currently aren’t in a position to be able to cancel and are presumably hoping they won’t need to hence why they are now asking for RSVP now so they can let the venue know the numbers.

OP isn’t unreasonable to say at this stage that she doesn’t want to go due to being vulnerable and not knowing what the virus will be doing by then. But they’re not unreasonable to ask,because if the wedding doesn’t go ahead then they’ll get their money back anyway hopefully, but if they assume that it shouldn’t go ahead then they won’t.

I wanted to say how shit it us for brides this year. At least the weddings during lockdown have no choice about being cancelled.
The summer marriages will probably be allowed to go ahead but without the reception etc. Which is worse really if you had planned a big do. Not to mention the stress of not knowing.
Maybe give them some the extra cash you’d save on the hotel etc as acknowledgement of what a disappointment it all is?

No weddings going ahead here this year anyway. Been told already. That's three so far, am relieved TBH.

Better to postpone and hope, than go ahead and expect lots of guests. Not a runner for a long while I think.

But I understand the way venues and ancillary services work. They want things to go ahead and may put a bit of pressure on.

Social distancing is not possible at a wedding. Or any other gathering is it?

I can’t see any large weddings going ahead, I would just confirm attendance and wait for it to be cancelled. I think that any couple just wanting to get married will still be able to book a wedding and invite a few guests that can socially distance. Show type weddings will be on hold for at least a year.

Our god daughter is due to marry at the start of August. It's not been cancelled yet but her father is in the very vulnerable category due to multiple health problems so all are hoping for his sake that she'll be able to cancel and rearrange nearer the time.

I was supposed to be MOH on 31st July. Wedding is put back a year.

My income is mostly from weddings and I have everything cancelled or postponed until September at least

I expect that the couple are aware that the wedding is likely to be cancelled, but the venue won't want to cancel it unless absolutely necessary. At this stage I imagine the couple have already paid most - if not all - of the money, so there's not necessarily any advantage to them to cancel now either.

If it does go ahead then of course it's completely up to you if you go. 'Vulnerable' is a big category and different people will assess the risk to themselves differently.

They'll probably be able to get married, but I'd be surprised if they're allowed more than a dozen or so guests. BUT lots of places haven't yet got cancellation policies beyond the end of June, so they may need to continue on the assumption it'll go ahead until things get clearer.

I was in an email exchange with a hotel group about a corporate booking due to take place in a few months. Apparently they believe 'things will be back to normal by then'. I don’t.

@KotoMoto I would decline it and I’m not even vulnerable. Bride and Groom are delusional to think it will go ahead.

Let us wait and see what happens.

But no matter what, social distancing is going to be a problem at social gatherings from now on. Sadly, but it is what it is.

Some may be brave, others may not, no matter what we are told. We want to protect ourselves and immediate family surely.

It is a tough call.

If you’re vulnerable and don’t feel safe going, I’m sure the couple will understand.
As someone who’s meant to be getting married this summer, I can imagine the bride is going through hell with all of the uncertainties at the moment. I’ve been planning my wedding for 3 years and the thought of it not going ahead as planned is heartbreaking. I know everyone has there own opinions on how things will unfold over the next few months but, if you know someone who’s wedding has been affected by covid, please be sensitive about it. The number of people who’ve been downright rude to me about the fact that we’re still planning the wedding is really upsetting. We don’t have much choice at the moment and so we have to remain hopeful.

It is so sad my friend had to cancel her June wedding has rebooked for next year.

I don't think it will go ahead. Even if it did,, I would decline.

Big weddings will change now I think.

Will be awful for the wedding planners and the associated businesses for sure.

A lot of people will not be comfortable about being at a wedding/party/gathering for a long time I think.

One question.. how will the usual family photos be taken within the 2 metre rule? Anyone know.

It's only an assumption that it's going ahead.

I'm due to attend an August wedding. B&G are still planning on it going ahead. I'm very uncomfortable with the prospect of being with 80+ people in a few months time. I'm not shielding but I do have asthma and am hardly leaving the house at the moment.

my ds is due to get married 24th July, 150 people invited. The venue said if they cancel they loose their money, its literally a waiting game to see if it can go ahead, so stressful. Its been booked for nearly 2 years, so much spent. There are at least 1/4 of the guests who are high risk, elderly, health issues, etc At the moment bride is carrying on like it will go ahead. What I am wondering is if the government/venue say weddings can happen for say 50 people, how do they stand if they dont want that, will they be entitled to a refund?

I am 6 August, about 90 folk, I am resigned to postponing and have not sent invites.