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Original poster

Has anyone allowed their parents to meet their newborn during the pandemic?

87 replies

CandleFlames · 02/05/2020 14:09

Just curious to see answers. My baby is three weeks and hasn’t met anyone obviously, and we plan to do this until guidance changes. I’m just wondering if anyone has had anyone meet their baby from outside of the household. Just interested, no judgement!

OP posts:
mynameisntlouise · 02/05/2020 14:22

We wouldn't have, but they did on a technicality. I have an older child and the plan was always for my parents to come take care of him when I went into labour so my husband could be my birth partner, we still went ahead with this plan last week. My parents got to spend the day with my toddler and we were home the same day so they saw the new baby when we got home briefly.

I guess if myself and baby had to stay in hospital my husband would have gone home and 'relieved' my parents and then fetched me and baby home the next day or whenever. If this had been the case I don't think I'd have had them over again to see the baby, but at this point we've already all been exposed to each other so I don't know if this would have been pointless.

singme · 02/05/2020 14:32

My parents haven’t as they live 3 hours away but DP’s parents have seen her from the driveway as they dropped off our food shopping when she was first born so we could avoid the shops!

IckyIsAFuckingStupidWord · 02/05/2020 15:01

No. Mines younger than yours and no ones seen him yet only on a WhatsApp video call to my mother because she wanted it. I’m waiting.

Hiphopopotamus · 02/05/2020 15:04

I’m interested to hear the responses here - my baby is due in two weeks - first baby and first grandchild for the family. It’s breaking my heart that my parents might have to wait to see the little one.

NelliePig · 02/05/2020 15:05

Due in June and my dad has taken 6 weeks off work (my mum is disabled so at home all the time anyway) 2 weeks before my due date and then 4 weeks off after so because they will have been self isolating we will be letting them see the baby. My boyfriends parents, absolutely not if they dont wanna use their holiday to isolate then they cant bitch they havnt met the baby 🤷‍♀️
Absolutely depends on the circumstances and people will make different choices for what suits them :) x

Likethebattle · 02/05/2020 15:06

Here’s the thing a baby has no immune system and if it saves it’s life to keep it shielded why wouldn’t you?

lollipoplola · 02/05/2020 15:07

I know people with newborns and they're having their parents stand at the window to see the baby. I'v got a slightly older baby and so she met her grandparents but obviously has changed so much and it is sad that people are missing out. I really am hoping we will be allowed to visit close family soon.

MrsP2015 · 02/05/2020 15:08

If I had a newborn I think I'd be worried about someone (unless strictly isolated) passing on covid-19!
Easier said though as I haven't.

My friends mum isolated so she could be there when she brought her newborn home for the first few days, then went back to work and doesn't visit.

MsChatterbox · 02/05/2020 15:08

I'm due in June and interested to hear at what age people would feel comfortable for family to meet baby?

BarbedBloom · 02/05/2020 15:10

My friend just had a baby and she held her up to the window for her parents to see as they dropped shopping off. Really sad but she doesn't think it is worth the risk.

NameChange30 · 02/05/2020 15:12

If I could trust family to self-isolate very strictly (and get online shopping rather than go to the shops for example) I would ask them to do that for 14 days and then let them visit to meet the baby.

If I trusted some but not others it would be a tough call and it would depend whether you were willing to argue or offend people by allowing some but not others to visit.

Bubblesbubblesmybubbles · 02/05/2020 15:13

I think if its your second the chances are parents or in laws will be looking after older children during childbirth so they then will.

If things relax I'll be asking anyone who wants to meet baby to self isolate for 2 weeks before meeting them (as well as the obvious of not being symptomatic)

NoNamesNoPackDrillHere · 02/05/2020 15:19

Our first GC was born on Mother’s Day.
It’s a bit different for us, as DH has advanced cancer, so shielding. This did have a bearing on our decision. DIL’s mother is also shielding.

We saw her at 2 weeks. DH’s stepfather who he’d grown up with since age 3 had just died, so it was a bit of a boost for him. We saw her close up through the patio doors.
They came round last weekend and we all sat in garden - about 10ft from each other.

That’s it now for me I think, I found it too upsetting. I just wanted to have my first cuddle, and smell her, so broke my heart I couldn’t. Main thing though was that it brought home to me that DH might never get to do that.

formerchild · 02/05/2020 15:32

Why do people say "if the rules relax I will"? Surely the risk remains the same

Bubblesbubblesmybubbles · 02/05/2020 15:46

Yup, the risk remains the same hence requesting 2 weeks of pretty much self isolation before a visit. We will do the same in return so the risk should in theory be minuscule

CycleWoman · 02/05/2020 15:50

I gave birth in April and nobody has seen the baby. I even ended up giving birth without my partner as we didn’t want anyone else coming to look after older DC as none of our family has been properly following social distancing rules.

It’s really sad that you don’t get to share the joy and have extra helping hands.

However, I’m really enjoying the lack of interference!

DorotheaHomeAlone · 02/05/2020 15:51

My baby is 12 weeks so met most family a couple of times before lockdown. If she’s been born later I would have allowed a visit and let them hold her. The risk to babies is absolutely tiny to the point of being non existent. Only 11 people under 20 have died of Covid in this country and they all had additional health issues. I don’t think I’ve heard of any healthy baby deaths worldwide so for me this would be an acceptable risk.

Hiphopopotamus · 02/05/2020 15:51

@formerchild because I wouldn’t be keeping my mum apart from her first grandchild because of the risk - the risk of infection is minuscule. I would be doing it because of the rules. So as soon as the rules relax we’ll be seeing each other.

Lauracrazygirl · 02/05/2020 15:51

Hello, I'm actually over due (40 + 4) and my poor MIL is desperate to see baby when he comes.
She talking about meeting me in a public park with baby in the pram, just so she can see him.😥 (it's her first grandchild)

My mum who is a nurse in an elderly home is far more realistic because she is so close to the cornaviris situation and said (although painful) she wont visit until regular testing is conducted. Even then..she is very hesitant.

I've made the decision that no one is coming to my house or that I am meeting anyone in a public place for at least the first 6 weeks even if the government eases the restrictions and even in a public space.

It's hard for everyone but we need to be careful because we don't understand this virus or have a cure so we can't risk it.🙁

As the Queen says "We will meet again" my family will meet my baby eventually and it will be all the sweeter because we were careful. 💕

lollipoplola · 02/05/2020 15:59

@formerchild the reason I would if the rules relax is because I'm not worried about covid spreading from baby to grandparents and vice versa as the risk is so low due to both households isolating and completely (home deliveries). It's simply about following the very simple rules.

MrsOrMiss · 02/05/2020 16:00

Not me, but someone I know.
She lives in London, already had a 4 year old DD, she gave birth 3 weeks ago, drove up to Chester with her DC to stay with her mum, dad and 3 siblings. Just this week.
It gets better.
Her other siblings went to visit them at their mums house! No, the siblings aren't 'isolating' with them, they're driving back home to their own families living in York and Halifax. I really wish I were making this up, but I'm not.
She lives in a nice apartment in London, but has no outside space AND wanted her new DS to meet the family. So, of course she needed to put the whole family at risk.

RhymingRabbit3 · 02/05/2020 16:06

My baby is 6 weeks on monday. She was born on the day lockdown was announced. My parents met her because they had my older daughter overnight when I was in labour - nobody else has met her yet.

The minute the lockdown rules are relaxed enough to allow family visits, I will be visiting my parents, followed by my in laws. However I still wont be visiting my grandparents and great grandparent for risk of transmitting the virus as they're all over 70 :(

RhymingRabbit3 · 02/05/2020 16:07

To be honest I think my parents are more upset about not seeing my 3 year old. Babies are cute but at newborn stage dont really do much. At least they will have no idea what they're missing.

Bubblesbubblesmybubbles · 02/05/2020 16:11

@lollipoplola worded it perfectly for me. If anyone worked in frontline roles then it would be different for them but no close family do

Bubblesbubblesmybubbles · 02/05/2020 16:16

@RhymingRabbit3 how have they taken that? We have parents over 70 who still want to visit once rules relax (but we've been out of hosp over 14 days so we arent a risk to them). It feels bad to deny them a visit as the risk wont go any time soon, we worked out we are at least risk to them whilst on maternity/paternity and DC1 isn't back at childcare.....

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