Teacher calling every week AIBU?

[TheGoldenNugget]

Just got an email from the school saying from next week they will call me every week to speak to me and my DS. I have a DS in year 2 and DD in nursery, the nursery called me last week to ask how we're doing (didn't even know they were calling) we spoke for a bit, they didn't ask to speak to DD and that was it.

Now I don't mind getting a phone call once to chat, but every week? Really? AIBU? Goodness knows how long this will continue, and they want to call every week!

(Lack of) SEND provision in school is a multi factoral problem linked to central government underfunding, under resourced mental health services, unavailability of specialist provision and the rest!

That doesn't mean making a phonecall home during a pandemic is a bad thing.

@Oblomov20 with respect, please don't speak on behalf of a whole profession. I'm sorry if your experiences has made you feel like this but as a teacher of 14 years, with training in SEND and 2 years as a TA specifically for SEND pupils before that, I can categorically say that I care very much about my SEND students. Furthermore, my school has one of the longest 'at risk' list of students I have ever seen in my years in education. These students are also part of SEND due to emotional needs. We have a whole team of specially trained staff who work with these students both as educators and in a pastoral capacity. To suggest that a school as a whole does not care about their most vulnerable is very insulting.

One reason this is different, is that we are all cooped up inside. The only time I really see anyone at the moment is when I do shopping and the Thursday night clap.

Families could go days, weeks without being seen by anyone at all. So neighbours etc would never realise that a child is no longer coming out to play as they have been harmed, neglected.

As a number of us have said teachers have had to change the way they do things, safeguarding policies have been rewritten. Maybe, when things go back to normal, teachers will contact parents more if they have withdrawn their children from school temporarily for whatever reason.

For those saying when teachers have phoned they have withheld their number, or not given a contact number in the answerphone message. This is because they will be phoning on their personal phones, either landline or mobile. Again for safeguarding reasons they are not allowed to give their personal phone details to parents.

My sons teacher called and he spoke at her for 10 minutes. It was the highlight of his week, he asked her questions and asked after his classmates. It was perfectly timed as he was struggling and it just connected him with his normal...

My dd is a secondary school teacher. They have to ring every student in their form every week.

They have to call and hear/see child
My DDs primary are threatening referrals if 2 weeks in a row parents are ignoring scheduled phone calls. This is exactly what should be happening. Be grateful your kids school is calling as PP said, some won't be called at all.

They will often be private numbers because staff are using their own mobiles (and not being reimbursed) so rightfully putting 141 first.

My school call daily! And tas call too so some families are getting multiple calls a day!

DS1's teacher rang for the first time this week to do his SEN review. We have been in touch briefly and intermittently via messaging, but a phone call was far better for just going over issues. I haven't sent any work into school because I've been marking and feeding back as we go, and a phonecall enabled me to say that we've been going off piste and are finding the BBC bitesize resources very accessible for DS's needs. It was much easier dropping that into a conversation than initiating a text based conversation which could easily have been intepreted as more critical (and we do have a lot of critical pushy parents a the school.) I have had message based check-ins from DS2's teacher enquiring how the family is doing.

Safeguarding is particularly critical at this point. Parents could be facing bereavement, loss of income (or long, traumatic hours at work) and the loss of support structures. Children have no escape mechanism, no playing with friends, no school, no clubs/societies ("safe" places with trusted adults like Scouting/ Guiding often pick up on safeguarding issues and disclosures). Families that did cope sufficiently may now find that they can't any more and have now tipped into the zone where child welfare is now being compromised.

We are now at a stage of school closures where schools would be returning after the summer holidays, yet there has been no holidays, no holiday clubs, no visits to family, no playing with friends.

As it happens, my autistic child is less anxious than usual, but it's been useful to talk to his teacher to address that the return to school, and any adaptions made are more likely to be a flashpoint and make requests such as being with his best friend in the event of measures such as split classes.

Engaging via email is valid, but it is less informative than a short chat. It is not spontaneous, it lacks tone. Worst case scenario it could be vetted/ controlled/ forged by an abusive parent, harder to do on the phone. That doesn't mean that anyone requesting text based communication over phonecalls is covering up anything malign, but it is why phonecalls are effective communication from the school's point of view.

My daughters nursery does this for all the kids and I love it.
We're in a very deprived area and the nursery does it for everyone.
That's their style. They provide services to everyone, so that no one feels singled out and that way, no one who needs it feels a sense of stigma.
Is it partially to do with child protection and "checking up" on us? Yes of course it is. At least partially.
Do I mind? No not at all.
And for two reasons:

1. The teacher is bored and lonely at home. Things play on her mind. She worries for the kids. Do I want to add to her worry at a time like this? Of course not.
2. People can go from fine to vulnerable really quick at a time like this. We're currently fine. We have plenty of money, we get on well together and we're not sick.

All that can change. Sometimes I think what it would be like to get really ill and struggle to care for the kids. Perhaps have difficulty accessing medical care. Would I want a friendly professional to check up on me at a time like that. Yes of course I would. The idea that someone will check is very comforting.

I think that's a v thoughtful gesture of your school. It takes a lot of time and effort for the teacher to do this. You sound incredibly ungrateful. Why don't you grown up and give some decent feedback!!!

Department for education have told schools they need to be in touch weekly - not schools being intrusive, just following instructions

One thing is for certain, teachers won't be calling every family for fun; it will take up a lot of time doing that and it's an essential part of safeguarding. Which does NOT mean that they suspend you personally of being a child abuser of some sort.

It’s a couple of minutes out of your week to check on your child’s welfare and education. Truly can’t see why anyone would object to that or cause problems by deliberately not answering the phone.

School may have had enough knowledge of you and your family to not deem your child being at home a safeguarding risk. Who knows.

@Hercwasonaroll it isn't a separete issue at all and it's very clear teachers are not only calling families where they've decided there's a safeguarding risk.

While my DD was one of a minority who were out of school, she didn't matter. Now there are lots, they have to be check on. I know several parents whose children have been at home and ignored for months and are now getting routine calls. When one told them not to bother, she was punished by a referral to the police to do a welfare check. If they had really thought there was a safeguarding issuee, they would have been calling months ago.

To be fair, months ago we weren’t in a global pandemic with soaring levels of domestic violence and mental health issues and no other eyes on children.

It is driving me mad, but only because I have houseful of kids (5 of mine are at school and we have SIL’s here for the duration while she’s working in ICU) so it’s at least once a day (SIL’s kids school is calling them twice a week each as they are not in their own home, which is understandable) and by sheer unfortunate luck it always seems to be just as we sit down to eat

However, I was abused and neglected by my parents so I have mixed feelings about the calls.

On the one hand it is good that the children are being checked up on, but on the other hand some kids will live in fear of that call. I know my father would have found something “wrong” in what we said to our teachers and we’d have copped it for sure.

Dd2 (13) sees a TA once a fortnight when in school since her dad died when she was 11. She's phoned twice. Unfortunately I missed the calls both times. I emailed back straightaway to say how we were getting on (fine). I haven't had Corona but i mentioned what the plan would be if i got sick with corona and ended up in hospital (sister who lives locally would have them)
I thought of giving them dd2's mobile number and saying the TA is welcome to call her but not sure if that would be allowed?
Dd2's form tutor emailed all parents and kids. She said to the kids if she didn't hear back from them she'd phone. I replied and said dd2 will email her in the next few days. Will have to remind her.
Dd1 (year 11) hasn't been contacted, although I mentioned her in the email to the TA

Like another poster my mum had severe mental health problems in the days when schools considered a child's home life none of their business unless maybe they could see bruising. My family were very good at keeping up appearances of being a lovely middle class family but it was hell behind closed doors. My mum was very aggressive

Department for education have told schools they need to be in touch weekly - not schools being intrusive, just following instructions

Being instructed to do something doesn’t stop it from being intrusive.

A five minute phone call once a week isn't really that intrusive for most people. And many PP have explained why schools are doing it. It is much more work for the teachers than it is for the parents.

Just how is answering a call once a week intrusive @BoomBoomsCousin?

Honestly, you would think the teachers were wanting to come round and stay the weekend, it is a call, which can be taken at your time of convenience, just don't answer the phone if it is not convenient, to ensure that all is well.

I'm amazed all these parent show find in intrusive have even got phones or ever gave their number to the school. If you don't want to take the call, get the child's father to take it?

When you gave your number to the school, you consented for them to contact you should they feel the need.

hesgotit. I didn’t claim it was in my post, I just pointed out that the previous logic was flawed.

I don’t think answering a call is intrusive, making one can be. The frequency is only one factor in determining how welcome a call would be, perceived purpose and usefulness and whether interactions are within that scope are likely to be more indicative of whether something is intrusive.

YABU

Schools can’t win; no contact and they get criticised, now once a week is too much

This.

My son's teacher phones. I have a crush on him and quite look forward to it 😂