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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

totally trivial was I being unreasonable wedding thread

107 replies

julybaby32 · 30/04/2020 14:47

A few years ago I was doing the reading at wedding. I live about 250 miles from the wedding venue. Wedding was Friday. Had to ask for the day off for the Friday - we can't ordinarily ask for time off when we like but was allowed this as special occasion and for doing the reading. I'd gone to some trouble to buy a suit that suited the colour scheme, but didn't look like a bridesmaid's outfit, bought make up and had a lesson near where I live about how to put it on, did my hair in the way the bride wished etc. drove up after work on Thursday (kind boss gave me the some of the afternoon off so I just made it in time for the rehearsal in the church at 8pm)
Elderly relative of mine, and friend of the bride, came up to me after the ceremony and before the reception and said "I would have thought you would have had your makeup done professionally this morning as I did."
Was I really being unreasonable not to have my makeup done professionally? Is this a given that everyone else but me knows about?
(This is just from curiosity and to entertain others with the trivial. Too late to do anything about it now.)
My hat had quite a wide brim, if that is relevant and I'm rather plain.

OP posts:
Shoppingwithmother · 30/04/2020 14:50

No. I have never once had my makeup done professionally, including when I was the bride.
Some people just enjoy being rude and hurtful, and for some reason elderly female relatives quite often fall into this category.
This is always my answer, but, you should have told her to fuck off.

TeenPlusTwenties · 30/04/2020 14:50

Relative was rude and ridiculous.

usersouthcoast · 30/04/2020 14:50

Totally not unreasonable at all.

HeartyGreenSalad · 30/04/2020 14:51

I would have replied ' You did?' and look puzzled

SallyLovesCheese · 30/04/2020 14:54

YANBU. Bizarre comment for your relative to make. Nobody needs professional make-up at a wedding - it's nice for the bride and wedding party, yes, but people can look pretty without it.

ProfChaos · 30/04/2020 14:55

I'm not even having my make up professionally done for my own wedding.

Rude old cow.

shadowpuss · 30/04/2020 14:56

YANBU at all. I didn't have my make up done professionally for my own wedding. I prefer to do it myself.

Willow2017 · 30/04/2020 14:56

You should have looked slightly shocked and said "Oh you paid to get yours done?" Then walked off. Grin
I bet the bride was glad you came because she wanted you there and it meant something to her for you to do the reading.

Idiots always want to put others down to make themselves feel better they are not worth the time of day.
Bet you looked lovely OP nobody is 'plain' you are you be proud of who you are.

Coldilox · 30/04/2020 14:59

Didn’t have make up professionally done for my own wedding. No way I’d pay for it for someone else’s

VickyEadieofThigh · 30/04/2020 15:01

That's an example of rude fuckery by the person who said that to you.

Lllot5 · 30/04/2020 15:04

All of this was a couple of years ago? What’s brought it up now?
Just forget about it.

BiddyPop · 30/04/2020 15:06

I did my own makeup for my wedding.

SWBVU. (As in, She was....)

HeartyGreenSalad · 30/04/2020 15:08

read the second to last paragraph @Lllot5

DramaAlpaca · 30/04/2020 15:09

That was a very bitchy thing for your relative to say.

Her age isn't relevant though, some people just have no filter.

1066vegan · 30/04/2020 15:09

Stupid woman. She was being very rude and completely out of order.
It sounds like you went to a huge effort for your friend.

As an aside, I've never been a bridesmaid or bothered getting married myself so I'm not really sure how these things work. I can (just about) see why a bride might want her bridesmaids to have their hair done a particular way, but is it normal to also say how guests doing readings should style their hair? Seems a bit ott and controlling.

SirGawain · 30/04/2020 15:10

A few years ago I was doing the reading at wedding.
I think it's time that you let this go!

MindyStClaire · 30/04/2020 15:10

I'm shit with makeup. I do it myself for weddings, except when I've been bride or bridesmaid. I don't know anyone who gets theirs done professionally for every wedding (and most of us would get our hair done). Doing a reading wouldn't change my preparations.

RingaRosie · 30/04/2020 15:11

How did she even know? I mean, pro make-up can look lovely... But, I’ve never had it done. Or a manicure. Or my eyebrows. Don’t think I’ve ever looked out of place at a wedding (including my own, which featured towel-dried hair), having done my own beauty routine...

Ginfordinner · 30/04/2020 15:12

Who are the 8% that think YABU?

aerosocks · 30/04/2020 15:12

I'd have suggested they went back and asked for a refund.

peperethecat · 30/04/2020 15:16

YANBU, she was a stupid, rude old bat.

MaintainTheMolehill · 30/04/2020 15:17

Your relative is an arsehole. I've had mine done when I was a bridesmaid and once for my brothers wedding but only as a treat as I had lost 4 stone with wedding being the date I had aimed for.

You went to a lot of effort and sound very kind, I'm sure you looked good - sometimes when you get your makeup done it can look a bit much, did the relative perhaps notice that you weren't 'overdone'?

FlowerArranger · 30/04/2020 15:18

Shaking my head here...

'Did you really? I hope you got your money back!'

Lailaloo747 · 30/04/2020 15:19

I would have said “You did? Blimey....if I were you I’d do it myself next time”
Big smile and walk away....
Some people Shock

L0bstersLass · 30/04/2020 15:19

No, of course you weren't being unreasonable. It sounds like you made a real effort with your outfit and taking the time off so that you could take part.
Relative is rude.