Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

totally trivial was I being unreasonable wedding thread

107 replies

julybaby32 · 30/04/2020 14:47

A few years ago I was doing the reading at wedding. I live about 250 miles from the wedding venue. Wedding was Friday. Had to ask for the day off for the Friday - we can't ordinarily ask for time off when we like but was allowed this as special occasion and for doing the reading. I'd gone to some trouble to buy a suit that suited the colour scheme, but didn't look like a bridesmaid's outfit, bought make up and had a lesson near where I live about how to put it on, did my hair in the way the bride wished etc. drove up after work on Thursday (kind boss gave me the some of the afternoon off so I just made it in time for the rehearsal in the church at 8pm)
Elderly relative of mine, and friend of the bride, came up to me after the ceremony and before the reception and said "I would have thought you would have had your makeup done professionally this morning as I did."
Was I really being unreasonable not to have my makeup done professionally? Is this a given that everyone else but me knows about?
(This is just from curiosity and to entertain others with the trivial. Too late to do anything about it now.)
My hat had quite a wide brim, if that is relevant and I'm rather plain.

OP posts:
Parkandride · 30/04/2020 15:19

God no
I've done plenty of readings and never had professional make up, if the bride and groom wanted it they'd have paid for you

HuggedTheRedwoods · 30/04/2020 15:21

YWNBU she was being mean. How did you respond at the time?

Inconnu · 30/04/2020 15:23

That was really rude!

littleduckeggblue · 30/04/2020 15:29

This happened YEARS AGO and it's still on your mind????!!!???

FrownPrincess · 30/04/2020 15:29

How very rude of your relative, and how odd that she mentioned it. I really can’t understand why she cared one way or the other Confused

Fifthtimelucky · 30/04/2020 15:30

Completely mad. And very surprising coming from someone who is older.

I'm in my late 50s and don't know anyone of my generation who had professional make up when they were were a bride.

Expecting someone doing a reading to have professional make up is completely mad, as is having it done as a normal guest.

Bringringbring12 · 30/04/2020 15:36

I can hardly bring myself to get my head around the notion that this happened... years ago!!

AriadnesFilament · 30/04/2020 15:41

I didn’t have my makeup done professionally for my OWN wedding. I wouldn’t dream of having it done professionally for someone else’s.

MulticolourMophead · 30/04/2020 15:42

I guess people are ignoring that the title said "totally trivial", and also that the OP said it was light hearted in the actual op.

OP, I've never had make up done professionally, ever. I don't wear much as I react to a lot. This elderly relative was rude.

HappyBuyer · 30/04/2020 15:42

YANBU.

Do not get upset or dwell on it Flowers You have put so much thought and planning into it :)

I can't imagine asking anyone attending my wedding years ago to do anything professional or have a specific dress code (I was just happy that they have showed up). And I did my own make up and it was everyday one (eyeliner, mascara, eye brow pencil, foundation and lipstick). You actually did a great effort and went for the lesson, chose fitting color scheme and drove 250 miles. If they wanted professional makeup and matching dresses, they would have told you about it and have paid for it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/04/2020 15:43

I've been married twice and did my own.

OneandTwenty · 30/04/2020 15:43

How rude! Did she mean you were not obviously caked in make-up?

I don't know many people who bother with professional make-up for a wedding (apart from the bride obviously). No one cares, or will even notice. Most weddings are rarely close from your home anyway.

'Did you really? I hope you got your money back!'
love that answer Grin

Mrsmadevans · 30/04/2020 15:46

That was very nasty of your relative and l feel that you have put yourself down by saying you are plain. Beauty is in many different forms .. I wonder how much of this shit you have had to listen to through the years to be honest. As for the make up professionally done. I didn't have mine done for my wedding and don't know anyone who has been silly enough to fork out the money for something which is unnecessary at best and overhyped at worst.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 30/04/2020 15:50

No. I have never once had my makeup done professionally, including when I was the bride.

Same here.

You should have told her she'd wasted her money. Miserable old bat!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 30/04/2020 15:51

Sorry - see I have been beaten to it.

Glad I'm not the only one who would have returned rudeness with rudeness (sometimes I get told off - I used to worry, but now I think "Buggerit! They started it.")

OneandTwenty · 30/04/2020 15:53

I have seen some example of make-up done "professionally" on my local groups - posted by local "make-up artists" to show their work...
Good grief ,in many case professional make-up is NOT a compliment Grin

Don't get me wrong, some make-up artists are just that, artists, others are borderline genious. There are still plenty of bad ones out there.

AJPTaylor · 30/04/2020 15:56

Was her name Jean? I had an Aunt Jean who walked around saying such stuff. Rude old trout

Musicalmistress · 30/04/2020 15:58

When I got married I did my own make up!

Original poster
julybaby32 · 30/04/2020 15:59

It really is just to entertain others that I posted. I wish I had thought of some of the replies here, but probably wouldn't have wanted to say them and then have the relative get upset and upset the bride or groom (or bride's mum.) I smiled politely and was then rescued by someone else joining us.
The bride didn't dictate the hairstyle. I just asked her if there was any thing she especially wished me to do or not do in terms of appearance and she mentioned that she always liked it when I did my hair in a particular style.

OP posts:
Original poster
julybaby32 · 30/04/2020 16:01

No, although I did have an Auntie Jean and she was lovely, but alas no longer with us.

OP posts:
Standrewsschool · 30/04/2020 16:01

She was rude. I wouldn’t have had it done professionally either (wouldn’t have crossed my mind to do so either)

sillysmiles · 30/04/2020 16:02

I'm more surprised that you bought a suit inline with the wedding colours for doing a reading. That would never occur to me. I'd wear whatever I was going to wear, reading or no reading.

ALovelyBitOfSquirrel · 30/04/2020 16:03

Ridiculous. I did my own wedding make up and if I may say it looked great Smile why should you have paid someone to do it?

I went to a wedding lot so long ago where the bride had paid a fortune for her hair and make up. The hair was ok but oh dear god the make up was terrible! All day she had that on and in the photos it looked even worse than it was. Poor woman!

PineappleDanish · 30/04/2020 16:03

I wouldn't be giving this headspace after "a few years" that's for sure.

Never had my make-up done professionally in my life and i'm in my 40s. Rarely wear it anyway.

InFiveMins · 30/04/2020 16:08

YANBU. She was rude.