totally trivial was I being unreasonable wedding thread

[julybaby32]

A few years ago I was doing the reading at wedding. I live about 250 miles from the wedding venue. Wedding was Friday. Had to ask for the day off for the Friday - we can't ordinarily ask for time off when we like but was allowed this as special occasion and for doing the reading. I'd gone to some trouble to buy a suit that suited the colour scheme, but didn't look like a bridesmaid's outfit, bought make up and had a lesson near where I live about how to put it on, did my hair in the way the bride wished etc. drove up after work on Thursday (kind boss gave me the some of the afternoon off so I just made it in time for the rehearsal in the church at 8pm)
Elderly relative of mine, and friend of the bride, came up to me after the ceremony and before the reception and said "I would have thought you would have had your makeup done professionally this morning as I did."
Was I really being unreasonable not to have my makeup done professionally? Is this a given that everyone else but me knows about?
(This is just from curiosity and to entertain others with the trivial. Too late to do anything about it now.)
My hat had quite a wide brim, if that is relevant and I'm rather plain.

The mumsnet staple 'Did you mean to be so rude?' would have worked. What a silly cow!

Dear God

No OP YANBU at all

Another who didn't have it done for my own wedding, nor for various black-tie awards dinners etc when I did have me hair done.

I've had it done three times, ever, and hated it twice. Even the third time, (my sister's wedding) I (and the whole wedding party!) needed to tweak ours before we left for the wedding.

It wouldn't even occur to me to get it done for a friend's wedding where I was a guest.

Some people just love to be a bit nasty wherever they can.
YANBU

Weddings really bring out the batshit in people, don't they?

No, OP, YWNBU. At all.

You should have looked at her for a moment carefully and then suggest she ask for her money back.

Is it not that she assumed you were part of the wedding party and would have had your make up done with them?

I never wear make up so I had it done professionally when I was my sisters bridesmaid and for my own wedding but I wouldn't/didn't for anyone else's. They were rude but time to let it go.

@Chocolate1984 not for doing a reading, that's not part of the wedding party.

YANBU, that’s not at all a required / expected thing. Relative was just being rude.

What @HeartyGreenSalad said!

I always would for a wedding even as a guest but I'm scouse lol. Plenty don't though so In no way unusual not to. I think she was totally rude to have said this to you. Doing a reading is not a great task for a lot of people so you're very kind to have done it

Ridiculous - I didn’t have my make up done professionally at my own wedding!

All of the above, and I bet your kicking yourself you were too shocked to think of some of these replies.
Funny how one rude/ nasty comment can stick with us for a long time.
Try to rethink it as feeling sorry for her low self esteem.

Me and my maid of honor had our hair and make up done. I certainly wouldn't have even noticed if anyone else did - in fact I don't think my friend who did a reading wore much makeup at all, and my mother and sisters did their own. It was a black tie wedding but we left people to interpret what that meant.
As it was years ago I think you need to forget it.

Was I really being unreasonable not to have my makeup done professionally?

No you weren't. I slapped on a bit of eyeliner and that was it. I 'did' my own hair too... as in washed it and shook it about a bit.

None of the guests ran off screaming when I appeared in the church and I look pretty good in the photos, if i do say so myself.

Well possibly that chocolate1984 but she was starting to tell me how she had made sure to have hers done professionally by a make-up artist who came round that morning and it was the same one as the bride used, so I didn't think of that. I think she had organised that herself? Maybe she didn't! I wasn't staying with the bride and bridesmaids though. I'm not sure doing a reading makes one part of the wedding party though. I sat at a normal table and heard lots of information about dinosaurs from an enthusiastic small fellow-guest and generally had a lovely time.

Is it playing on your mind during lockdown?

Are you feeling frustrated in general and thinking...when was the time I was last really pissed off?

There's always one, who has to comment, ignore and bide your time

Oh, I've been annoyed far more recently - but nothing to entertain others.

I almost always think people look better not having been plastered with professionally applied makeup.

At the other end of things. I was a bridesmaid years ago and was told by the bride she didn't want me having a spray tan, hair or makeup done. I told her I'd be having all three but was quite happy to not attend.

I have been bridesmaid three times, the first time bride was doig her own makeup as did I. Second time I had done professionally but this was optional and brides mother did her own. Third time professionally but again optional and one bridesmaid did her own as very picky. The woman was rude!

Your relative is daft. I have got my makeup done professionally for events purely because my hairstylist has a offer with a makeup artist and it worked out cheaper than buying stuff but was meant to have a big family wedding coming up next month and I planned to do as you did (I took the class) and was going to do my makeup.

Sounds like a silly vain woman; hte most important thing was that you were there and did hte reading. Perhaps she was jealous?