Tell me honestly. . .

[Nostrings457]

I have gained lots about 5 stone over the past 2 years. A combination of experiencing depression, medication causing increased appetite, lack of will power, being a greedy pig and having such low self esteem just not caring about the consequences.

I NEED to lose this weight but nothing is motivating me. I have young DCs.

Can anyone give me some home truths (dont hold back) on being over weight. The effects, the risks, anything to make me think twice about nit losing weight

Think the biggest wakeup call at the moment should be how much more likely to die to Covid you are if overweight?

I am very overweight/obese (5'4 and 16 stone), the pandemic has put the fear of God unto me. Look at the pictures of those poor people in the NHs that have lost their lives, so many had weight issues. I'm petrified of that- I have been dieting and exercising to get my BMI down and so far it's gone from 42 to 38ish

You can do this, but you have to want to do it.

For me, the biggest incentive would be wanting my children to grow up with their mum around them.
Being overweight places you at higher risk of long term health conditions. With the present climate, it also places you at higher risk if you were to contract COVID-19.

Do it for you, but also do it for your kids. You’ll feel better for it to be able to join them in activities etc.

Good luck!

I have lost 6 stone since November and can honestly tell you you will feel a different person if you lose the weight! More energetic, self confident, healthy, just generally feeling better about yourself. Your children will benefit from it too. My biggest regret is not doing it years ago when my children were small. Don’t be me, wishing you had your younger years slim and lol no g back thinking of all the things you wpild have done if you’d been slimmer. Don’t get me wrong I’m only 40 - but spent my teens, 20’s & 30’s Big ! Dreading parties, weddings, anything involving being in a big group of people dressed lovely while I tried to hide at the back, dodging photos.

Do it for yourself. The health implications alone are worth it.

Looming back I mean

Looking !

I found thinking of “good reasons” (as in, why it was bad for me) pushed me into a worse spiral of low self-esteem and eating more. The effects of smoking are printed on packs and that doesn’t stop many smokers.

Focus on positives:

• think how good you’ll feel fitting into clothes you love. Is there a certain dress/outfit you covet being able to wear again?
• think how amazing it will feel running after your DCs without feeling knackered
• imagine the look on people’s faces you haven’t seen for a while when they see how different you look (lockdown is a perfect opportunity)
• think of your best imagine of yourself and how that person looks. Don’t just focus on weight: they’re happy, content with life, and yes perhaps slimmer

I also found the book “brain over binge” exceptionally helpful with treating my relationship with food. It explains how giving into current impulses is merely satisfying a specific part of your brain, when in the long term you’re going to feel worse.

Write down all the positive reasons you want to lose weight and use that as your go to guide on bad days.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, treating depression with kids is utterly incredible. We generally respond better and more long term to something that makes us happy (I’m going for a run to feel my best after) than something that makes us feel bad (I’m going for a run because I can’t control my eating).

Be kind to yourself and good luck!

Your joints would be my starting point. All that extra weight must be doing damage.

I have osteoarthritis in my knees although mine is hereditary but the pain of not even being able to walk upstairs more than one flight of stairs without wincing and getting out of breath at 36 is something I would spare even my own worst enemy. Once your knees are shot you’re left on painkillers that can have nasty side effects and even then don’t take the pain away, just lessen it. I haven’t had a full nights sleep in years because I wake up in pain a few times a night. I’ve had to change a job that I love because I couldn’t do elements of it anymore. It’s also really hard to exercise once you’re like me as you can’t run or do anything high impact so you’ll be left with walking or swimming!

Obviously depending on your size, but let's go with obese for the sake of it.
You will save crapload on toilet seats🤷🏻
You will also be able to wipe properly (that was said on another thread and really resonated with me. It is a disgusting truth).
You won't be thinking of the chair will be ok when you go somewhere.
Nicer clothes.
Not sounding like Thomas the Engine if he smoked 40 a day after you walk up the stairs (if you don't have it yet, it will come).

You WILL gain self esteem. Not from looking better, but from being able to do it. With every pound lost you will start feeling more confident about yourself as a person.
You will not die too early.

Don't focus on the scales - focus on being stronger, healthier, eat to live and not the other way around.

Please don't think you need to punish yourself with 'home truths' to make yourself lose weight - know that you are everything you need to be, right now, and focus on making better choices for yourself. Do it with love for yourself, not hate.

You can do it, you deserve to be happier :)

Have faith in yourself, do lots of research, try a few different workouts to find out what you like, be as mindful as you can, have high expectations for yourself but do t rush it. Give yourself credit for every decision you make in the right direction. Do not give up on your goal.

I have to say that when it comes to workout a break through was Joe Wick😂 as probably half of uk tbh
His 15 min fat burner was game changer. I finally enjoy workout

Your children will have a better chance of not being obese themselves if you set them a healthy example

There is so much directly conflicting advice on weight loss, so you need to find what works for you. I personally am having success with high proteim combined with intermitten fasting, I've never before been on a diet and not been hungry. I've had to cut sugar almost completely, whereas some people work better having small treats every day.

Whatever you do, don't be put off by setbacks. They WILL happen and you do not have to take them as a signal that you are incapable of doing this.

As for home truths, I do have one but it's not negative: Weight creeps up on you and you adjust until all of a sudden you are way bigger than you thought you would ever be, but you've got used to it/made your justifications and concessions to just put up with it. But you don't have to. You are in control. And discovering that control over yourself is worth it even without all the other health and practical and aesthetic benefits of weight loss.

You will look more attractive and feel better
Best diet is simple just v low calorie so that you burn fat
Xxx

Ps I went from 58 kg to 42 so I know xx

What got me motivated was realising me overeating and then getting upset about my weight was having a negative impact on my girls. It wasn't fair for them to see me upset or hear me being negative about myself/body. I wouldn't go swimming or wear a bikini on the beach as I didn't feel confident. I didn't want them missing out any longer and I wanted them to see me have a healthy attitude to food so they didn't end up with eating disorders. I'm not skinny now but I'm more confident and I wear a bikini on the beach (well not right now!) And I'm setting them a better example.

But biggest motivator put some really unflattering photos on your phone or fridge then each time you are tempted to overeat look at them. I have some awful ones that I only have to look at and I suddenly dont feel like eating those biscuits!!

You will look better and more attractive to whoever you want to attract, and (this is sad but true) some people will potentially like you more.

If you like to shave eh ehm. You will be able to do it by yourself without an issue again....
yes. i am currently angry at myself It works for me

I second the find what works for you. So many different options. BUT! Find something you can turn into lasting lifestyle. Something which will give you base for good eating for ever.

You know. No one needs to tell you.

As a PT who trains severely overweight ladies please just start moving and eating healthily, do not cut stupid amounts, do not fast or do high fat, low protein, slimming world, weight watchers or Cambridge diet. Just do something that you can sustain long term.

You're obviously over eating and not moving enough but you know that. Write everything down for a week and really look at it. Then get yourself a plate which shows you how much of each food group to eat and retrain yourself into what is a normal portion.

There are lots of reasons but having a long happy life to see your children grow and their children grow and be the grandma who can keep up with them and have a full and active life is the biggest reason at all. And liking yourself. Start liking yourself.

You really can do this xxx

It can't be comfortable. I'm about a stone overweight, i have a shelf of a belly that touches my thighs when i sit down and honestly it makes me feels sick all that blubber rolling around. It's only going to get worse/harder too. I could just cut back a bit in my 30's and i'd be back to normal. In your 40's it takes a huge effort to just not get any worse.

You’ll feel better.

I'm in the same boat as you Op i felt panicked watching the dr's and nurses turning over the covid patients in icu on tv so they could breathe easier.
They wouldn't have a hope in hell turning me over so i'm following the very good advice your getting here too.. sending you a cuppa but no to help us both xx

On the other side, there is an everyday life which will feel AMAZING.

Light steps, easier breath, feeling your body strong and light and healthy around you.

You will just feel BETTER, all the time, and it will bleed into everything in your life - just the opposite of how feeling tired, and exhausted and fat bleeds into everything now.

Think and think about that other side and start WANTING to get there and feel it.

If you take mirtazapine it’ll be very hard to diet. I’m not being negative, dh is on it and says it’s awful.