Tell me honestly. . .

[Nostrings457]

I have gained lots about 5 stone over the past 2 years. A combination of experiencing depression, medication causing increased appetite, lack of will power, being a greedy pig and having such low self esteem just not caring about the consequences.

I NEED to lose this weight but nothing is motivating me. I have young DCs.

Can anyone give me some home truths (dont hold back) on being over weight. The effects, the risks, anything to make me think twice about nit losing weight

Everyone has different level of that "right mind". For some it is being kind to themselves and build up through it. For me it was anger. I got so angry at myself one day for letting myself to do this to myself. Proper anger and "I will show you me". It can work for some so just throwing it here that self love can be actually bit of self anger. So whatever works. As long as it works.

This one made me think when my weight crept up, I may not be remembering the numbers exactly correctly but the gist of it is...

The greater your body mass, the more blood you need to supply oxygen and nutrients to your tissues. As the amount of blood going through your blood vessels increases, so does the force on your artery walls. An average weight person may have 8 pints of blood pumping round their body - for every stone that increases by approx 1 pint - your heart is designed for the lower amount.

The consequence is that blood pressure an increased heart size/strain that’s brought on by obesity irritates plaque in the arteries and predisposes it to rupturing, which is what triggers a heart attack.

Hope that’s what you were looking for OP, it can be reversed, good luck - I completely understand how easy it is to end up where you are flowers]

My mum struggled with her weight. She couldn't understand it because she really didn't seem to eat a lot. It turned out to be her portion sizes. She bought a plate which had the correct amount to eat and she started weighing pasta and rice.

If you want to do something about it listen to James Smith's "Not a Diet Book" book on Audible (you can get it on a free trial). Or follow James Smith on facebook.

My child was bullied at school because of my weight and got into fights defending me.

OP you know it is bad for your health. Everyone who is fat and not stupid knows it is really bad for their health.
But you hve to identify why you eat too much. You talk about low self esteem so not caring about the consequences. Sometimes eating too much can be a slow form of suicide. It is actually saying you don't really want to live.
It might help to think of this as self harm, which it is. Just like people who cut themselves so are deliberately hurting themselves, you are deliberately harming yourself.
So rather than slowly committing suicide what do you have to live for? Your children? Do you want to grow up and see them having children? To be able to enjoy running around with grandchildren, rather than being ill an stuck in a chair?

All of the above.

For me the motivation was for me BUT seeing the change in my boys attitude to food and exercise. I've changed them for life, changed their approach to food, nutrition and fitness, and that's what kept me on track and 5 years later it's just us as a family no questions asked.

Life changes for the person loosing weight but don't underestimate how much this will change the pattern of your children's entire lives and then pass to their children.

What you'll be giving them are lifelong tools to make good choices.

It's really hard isn't it.
Don't think about it, don't try to find a reason.
Just do it.

Don't think about losing weight. Think about eating healthily and exercising. Exercise will help with your depression.

If you are thinking "I'm so fat and I need to lose weight", that negative self-talk and distant hard-to-reach goal will make your depression worse. If you think "today I am going to set a positive example to my children about food choices and physical activity", that's an achievable goal that you can set and achieve every day.

Don’t focus on the negatives, just think about how good you’ll feel being healthier. You can do it!

It depends, different things work for different people. I already love and eat healthy food, you can still eat too much healthy food. We are not all wolfing down doughnuts and cake. But I have a tendency to go back and have a second portion of that chickpea curry. Calories are calories whatever it is you are eating, if you eat too many, you will not lose weight.
Also easy with exercising more just to eat more. If you exercise more you still need to eat less.

The thing is OP, you can hear all the advice in the world, but if you're not in the right frame of mind, it won't happen.

I hate the phrase 'wake up call' but really, that is what has to happen from my experience to give you that determination to do it. I'd yo-yoed the same 4 stone for years, until one day I was painting my toenails and realised I couldn't breath properly. That was the trigger for me to get to grips with my weight.

You will enjoy everyday life a lot more when you are more mobile and healthier.

But don't diet, just check that you are eating more fruit and vegetables than anything else and avoid processed food. Then always stop eating before you feel full.

losing weight is really hard - is boring after a while, it takes a long time, it’s repetitive and when you’re an emotional eater (as most of us are to some degree) it’s really challenging mentally.

But being fat is really hard too. Not ever being physically comfortable, clothes feeling too tight and frumpy, being out of breathe climbing stairs, knowing the damage you are doing to your body, risking an early death and leaving kids behind.

It’s just a choice. Eat too many calories every day or don’t, just eat the calories your body needs or guzzle down twice that amount. It’s all choice, either way it’s not easy to stay fat or commit to not be fat.

Five stone is a lot of extra pressure, I’ve been 3 stone over my healthy range and that was so exhausting, nearly doubling that again would make me extremely depressed.

I’m currently losing weight bc I love the feeling of not thinking about my body and calories and the never ending cycle of eating, dieting, binging, self hatred etc. It’s so bloody nice when I don’t have to think about it. 1.5 stone to go!

I don't know for you OP, but I think for me being realistic about what difference it makes helps.
So lots talk about feeling more comfortable, able to love easier, etc. When I have lost a lot of weight it was easier to do more physical challenges like climb Snowdon. It made no real difference in my every day life. But I have always been active, it may be different for those who are obese and not active.
I was expecting daily changes and was really disappointed that there weren't really any. I had to be realistic and think about my future, my kids and potential grandkids.
I am losing weight and hope to keep it off this time. But I am not expecting it this time to transform my daily life. But I do want to be around for a long time.

@grumpos If your clothes are too tight then buy clothes that fit. Whatever weight you are too tight clothes is not a good look.

Joints, back problems, heart disease, diabetes, increased risk of certain cancers.

Focus on how much better you’d feel and look rather than the depressing aspects of being fat.

Behavioural change through fear isn't usually advised...but then smoking campaigns rely on them heavily...
OP you know the risks of obesity, clearly. I think maybe you need a realistic way to get out and burning it off, or a meal plan type change of behaviour? Maybe one of those boxed meal sets (Hello Fresh or Gourmet whatever) would be a good idea to get started? You can involve the kids and get them on board with a healthier lifestyle? I've found getting a dog a brilliant way to ensure we get out daily, although you need to be sure you can look after one once lockdown ends too. My weight was starting to creep up and now I'm back to a 10/12 with an hour's dog walking a day. It's much easier to do it with something/one else if you are depressed and maybe not wanting to do it just for you. Good luck.

Being in a wheelchair for 4 years with a broken hip at age 33. too overweight to have hip replacement, too much pain to exercise to lose weight therefore horrific vicious circle. NHS wouldn't touch me with a barge pole, nigh on impossible to get private surgeons to see me.
Wasted my life and my family's life.

@cantory The op doesn’t say what weight/height she was before the weight gain but if she was even at the top of her healthy weight range, she’s not just fat or obese now.

She’ll be morbidly obese and only 5% of women in the U.K. are in this category. This does have a massive impact on joints and health, and operations etc. It’s worrying about fitting in airplane and theme park seats kind of size.

Nothing anyone will say can help you have to want it. U already know it’s unhealthy etc. Not trying to be mean just my personal experience, I lost 2stone last year doing the fast800 but appreciate it’s not for everyone.
Best of luck

Think about how much better you'll feel, keep a journal and write down any little improvements that you notice
😊👍
Also keep note of any tips and tricks that work for you

Just pack a bag or rucksack with 16kg of weight ( bags of rice, bottles of water etc) put it on and walk around as long as possible. At your present rate of expansion this will be your weight next year. Just start by making a realistic diet plan and lifestyle changes you can stick to. With willpower and support you can achieve your goals, good luck.

@Jammydodger1981 Really depends on height. She might be 15 stone. That is not worrying about fitting in plane seats territory. I know.

And I am not morbidly obese but obese according to BMI calculator.

Sheer fear has helped motivate me this time.

I have tried lots but never seemed able to stick to it. Heart attacks etc never really seemed like they would happen so didn't really trigger a much needed response. But I am asthmatic and obese and if I catch corona (dh still having to go to work) then two comorbidities together don't bode particularly well. I can't get rid of my asthma but I can do something about my weight. I have two children who need me.

I've seen it said on ww (I've used in the past and using now) so many times find your why - and I have finally found mine. Try and think WHY you want to lose weight? Make that your focus, when you lose motivation think about your why, think about what it will be like when you do get to goal, if you fall off, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going. You can do this!

Most people get overweight because they eat too much, or eat all the wrong things. It maybe a battle to cut down on food consumption if you are depressed.but it's also depressing to be overweight.

If you start to have smaller meals.of the healthy types. and no junk food,and not much,or no alcohol, you will most likely start to lose weight very gradually, and will feel better for it.