Tell me honestly. . .

[Nostrings457]

I have gained lots about 5 stone over the past 2 years. A combination of experiencing depression, medication causing increased appetite, lack of will power, being a greedy pig and having such low self esteem just not caring about the consequences.

I NEED to lose this weight but nothing is motivating me. I have young DCs.

Can anyone give me some home truths (dont hold back) on being over weight. The effects, the risks, anything to make me think twice about nit losing weight

The same as I think about my drinking...
You are obviously selfish and don't give a shiny shit about your children.
How could we leave them without their mother? They'll never recover.
We both absolutely need to get a grip.
Stop drinking
Stop eating shit
Stop gratuitously serving ourselves and put our children first.
Good luck, OP.

I posted this before going to bed and am overwhelmed waking up to all your comments of support. Surely if strangers care then surely i should care about myself a little bit.

I am so thankful to not have had a barrage of 'join sw' again. I know it works for lots of people, me included a few years ago but in the long term its added to my eating disorder habits. I really feel i am building myself up to get in that frame of mind and find my 'why' and what works for me.

I've got lots of ideas from all your comments, i definitely need to look at my 'issues' with food rather than think i can change overnight.

I am dreading seekng people after lockdown - its been a relief not having any social occasions and feeling like a whale.

I dont know if i will be able to access this thread in a months time but i will post an update if i can

Thank you all again

Please be kind to yourself too though. Some of the comments will have been quite harsh. Lock down is bloody difficult and may not be the right time for you to do something radical. Just getting through the day might be enough with little ones.

I have come across something called Second Nature which may be worth a look.

There again if all these schemes and clubs and Janice at the scales worked, everybody would be slim wouldn't they?

Say to yourself " OK this week I will not gain anything, next week lose a pound"

If your clothes are too tight then buy clothes that fit. Whatever weight you are too tight clothes is not a good look.
I've read somewhere that clothes on models are 1 size bigger than the model and that's why they look so good. Unless of course it's supposed to be body tight. I now have few dresses 1 size bigger than me and the fit and feel amazing!

Different people react to different things. Note down what motivates you, ignore what doesn't.

Good luck.

I lost a fair amount of weight several years ago. Things I would say are:

• don't find excuses as to why now is not the time to start. I have 3 kids and a nearly full time job and have lost a couple of kilos in lockdown because I realised I was creeping to the top of my comfortable range and needed to stop.
• likewise if you slip up, don't go on a massive binge because you'll start tomorrow now. Brush your teeth.... Everything tastes gross straight after that. If it is daytime, go for a walk (avoiding corner shops or other sources of temptation). If it's evening go for a bath or to bed with a book. Take yourself out of the kitchen.
• don't buy stuff you will binge on, or at least not the worst stuff. Your kids will survive without biscuits.

You are far more likely to become diabetic. And a female diabetic is several times more likely than a non diabetic female of the same age to have a stroke or heart attack.

I NEED to lose this weight but nothing is motivating me. I have young DCs.

Isn't being around long enough to see your kids grow up enough motivation?

Even if you don't lose weight can you guarantee you won't put more on? Some of the very overweight people I know seem to have an attitude of "Well I'm already fat so I might as well carry on eating too much". They half-heartedly try a diet but if the weight loss isn't quick enough they jack it in, I think partly because the numbers seem too great.
Every pound lost isn't just a loss, it means you haven't put another pound on. It might take you a year to lose two stone, but what if the alternative is putting two stone on?

From personal experience it's easier to lose weight before menopause kicks in. I wish I'd realised that earlier.

#Eastender77 how?!

I was six stones overweight in my mid/late 40s. When I hit 40, I got taken off the combined contraceptive pill and moved onto the progesterone only pill, which never suited me as much. No big deal, I get it, but it was one consequence.

As I progressed through my 40s I received a stark warning from my doctor — during a routine visit — that if I didn't take action I would likely end up with Type 2 diabetes.

To be honest, I was pretty happy — but then life has dealt me a good hand — and I felt well. However, I was a size 20 and couldn't just breeze into any shop and get something nice. I'm not particularly interested in clothes but just now and again I wanted to look nice. And I didn't

So, around six years ago, I joined Weight Watchers, shifted a couple of stones and then braved the gym where I was put in touch with my amazing personal trainer, Chris C (best money I've ever spent).

I've just turned 53 and will be on stage in my first bodybuilding competition later in the year (or next year depending on the current crazy situation).

I'm 5' 7". My starting weight was 15 stones; today I weigh in at 8st 11lbs. I've attached my before (I was only bloody 39 in that pic ) and after (early 50s) pictures.

I'm an ordinary person, with a full-time job and a very unremarkable life. You can do this

@NiceLegs... that’s an incredible weight loss. You look quite thin to me but them I’m overweight and always applaud a persons efforts to be fitter and healthier. Well done!

Not being able to wipe your own bottom! Of course I can.

Yeah, so could I . However, shaving my bikini line was an altogether different matter

@TheLadyAnneNeville

Thank you so much . I'm not as thin as you may think: I've got some pretty nifty muscles going on when I flex them

😊 you’ve achieved much!

@randomer i came across second nature this morning and signed up. Its seems to be just what I need. Making small chages one habit at a time.

I tried Slimming World and couldn't get on with it. Started Weight Watchers on 5th March and have lost 1 stone up to now. Classes closed with the lockdown but able to access online. Honestly OP, its the best thing I've done for my health.

I came onto suggest second nature. I signed up 12 weeks ago and wish I'd found it much earlier. It's all about making small changes to form healthy habits in the long term and includes lots of the underlying science too. I've lost a stone and a half so far and for the first time ever can see this being a way to live rather than a weight loss programme.

Ps I went from 58 kg to 42 so I know xx

9st 1 to just under 6.5 stone?

OP you often on anonymous forums get people with eating disorders or who have only ever had to lose half a stone, giving you advice.

I think it helps to suss out if you the kind of person who has to go the whole hog and be strict, or if being less strict helps you. So if my DP wants to lose weight he has to cut out all sugar and be really strict. One bar of chocolate will lead to him giving up.
Whereas that approach would make me give up by day 2. I need flexibility. I say this because I think both attitudes need a different approach to losing weight.

And I know this is counter intuitive, but for me having lots of chocolate in and biscuits means I eat less of them. If I have more than anyone could eat in a day or two, it makes me want them less. If I have none in or one bar of chocolate it makes me focus too much on having chocolate. I think by making it forbidden it occupies too much mental energy. I read this tip, so I am not the only one it helps, but I know it would be a very bad idea for some people.

@nonevernotever i am due to start second nature on monday. Really like the aspect of changing mindset, making habits etc..but it wasnt advertised as a low carb diet which it essentially is

I had surgery. Self funded. I went from many stone to 10 stone. It's been 8 years and I regret northing.

I'm fit and healthy. I have run half marathons etc. You get the picture.

Being a healthy weight has made a massive improvement in my life.

Good luck Nostrings - I hope you find it as helpful as I have. I really like the whole package of recipes, peer support, nutrition advice and the rest.