Tell me honestly. . .

[Nostrings457]

I have gained lots about 5 stone over the past 2 years. A combination of experiencing depression, medication causing increased appetite, lack of will power, being a greedy pig and having such low self esteem just not caring about the consequences.

I NEED to lose this weight but nothing is motivating me. I have young DCs.

Can anyone give me some home truths (dont hold back) on being over weight. The effects, the risks, anything to make me think twice about nit losing weight

@ferntwist...I am a sugar addict. Empty calories, but so so addictive. Not like heroin, or tobacco but it does seem to have a very ''more-ish'' appeal to it..... Wish I was a veg addict.

I definitely felt the invisible thing when over weight. I've lost 3 stone and suddenly I get a lot of attention! Not that that's the reason for losing weight. I still have more to go but feel much better already

Now might not be the right time. If you’ve got young children and juggling them and possibly work, it is really bloody hard. Baking is one of our lock-down activities, my alcohol consumption has gone up a lot etc. I ideally want to lose 2 stone so not as much as you but I’m struggling with the motivation as I’m already knackered. Once I’m back to work, I know I’ll lose a stone without trying as I’ll have a long walk as part of my commute, can diet more easily and won’t be drinking as much.

Look up images of visceral fat, that should jolt you into action. It did me!

You can't beat yourself into submission when it comes to this, OP. it's so much more challenging and requires you to get to the root and find another way. Scaring yourself won't cut it. Nor will power. You have to get to the root cause of your relationship with food.

Most overweight people who diet don't lose their weight permanently. That's statistical fact. It motivates me as I don't want to be like this long term. I've learnt that unlike alcohol or cigarettes, when we use food as an emotional prop we are not able to give it up. We still have to eat which is why it's so bloody hard. I have become a binge eater over the past couple of years, and I've always relied on food as a pick me up throughout my life. I'm also 6 months post partum and feel like a whale. I'm still in maternity clothes and feel awful about myself.

My current strategy is a poor one, I don't recommend it but it's effective. I'm just so desperate to lose this weight that I decided not to think about food at all. I've cut it out of my life. I'm making normal meals for my family but not for me. I'm ignoring my hunger, having hot drinks instead and only eating a tiny amount of food at times when I don't feel hungry.

I don't think about calories. I've learnt that hunger is fleeting so I don't panic and reach for food when I feel it. I'm not using food as a source of pleasure, so I'm making myself find other ways to cope with difficult emotions. Severing my emotional dependency on food is the only way for me, I think. I don't have the time or mental energy to devote to a weight loss programme so I just don't really eat. Like I said, I'm not recommending this. I will need to find a better way long term, but right now the losses are giving me the boost I need. Sorry I've rambled on. Good luck I hope you find something that works for you.

@PumpkinP And I hate the attention, it is honestly the thing that made me put weight back on.

Oh, well I'm single and hated feeling invisible so I don't mind it!

I agree with littleandoften that on some level you have to accept being hungry and not always eating to meet that. If I do eat when I am hungry, I stay the same. So accept you have to go to bed a bit hungry and it gets much easier to lose weight.

Most of the complications with obesity seem slow and gradual at first but by the time the body shows the damage the effort to lose becomes harder. Except it’s going to be hard, except that your mental health is important and the key to weight loss. Lose weight for your health and try to remove the link with self esteem as your body weight does not define you.

I have lost five stone but after trying every diet I gave up on trying to cut down and changing eating habits. I started exercising. I found Zumba on you tube doing 15min every night then working my way up to a hour. I then felt better so wanted to start making healthier choices in food but knew if I wanted to eat crap I could. I’m now a healthy weight and have maintained it for 4 yrs now as I didn’t and don’t constantly think about food

@PumpkinP I don't want random men coming on to me, flirting with me, etc. Not talking about on a night out, but cashiers for example.

I think as well when you go to bed hungry and realise its not that big a deal to go to bed hungry, it helps remove some of the emotional connection to food.

Well we are all different. I like feeling attractive again. It's definitely boosted my confidence. I Hated being "the fat one"

I have been very overweight, and I am now a healthy weight. If you want honesty, OP, the first thing to understand is this :

Obesity is a choice

You choose what to put in your mouth, and you choose how much or how little exercise you do. Losing weight is easy. You just eat less, and move more. Ideally, you eat much less of energy-dense foods and much more fresh veggies, salads & (most) fruits and you do much more exercise. If you do this, the weight will drop off. Keeping it off is a different matter, and requires permanent lifestyle changes.

The 5:2 diet plus lots of walking worked for me, but we all have to find what suits us.

You can lose weight. Believe me, If I can, anyone can. Good luck!

Being overweight makes you less fit, and makes you more likely to become seriously ill with COVID 19. But maybe you need to work more on the root causes, e.g. the depression and low self esteem, and then the weight may improve too. I assume you've already had some professional help, but maybe you need more help. Unfortunately, lockdown makes it difficult to just 'see someone' about it, but I believe that there are telephone and online therapists.

I would put reducing the risk of Diabetes way up on your list .

I work with a high % of patients with diabetes , mainly Type 2 .

When you add the risks to your heart , your circulation, your mobility .
Your joints .

Every 1lb of fat causes your body to produce a mile of blood vessels ( mostly capillary) but that's another mile your poor heart has to push the blood round .

Prolong your life and enhance your quality of life .

And be aware of shops who use vanity sizing "I'm usually a size 16 but I'm a 14 in Bollocks Shop"
Doesn't mean you're a 14 . It means they either cut generously or mis label.

@AgeLikeWine absolutely agree with you!
I would add that looking at what the food actually is massively helps to put everything into the perspective one needs.
What's in that jar? What's in that food? Is there better alternative? Can I make it? Can I make chicken stock with less than 17% of my daily salt intake? Can I have less added sugar in pasta sauce? Don't obsess but learning about what someone puts in their mouth can be very beneficial.

Every 1lb of fat causes your body to produce a mile of blood vessels ( mostly capillary) but that's another mile your poor heart has to push the blood round .
I did not know that 😱

Solidarity hug to you @oakleaffy, it really sucks doesn’t it

Great thread, thank you for this, I'm 9m postpartum with dc4 and revving up to lose the baby weight accumulated over the last 10 years. It seems impossible, I've tried and failed so many times. Good luck OP!

You need to be in a positive state of mind to lose weight. Focus on being healthier and the positives eating healthier food brings. I'd been overweight for years. Joined slimmingworld last January lost 5 stone in 8 months and kept it off. I did it very much as a healthy eating plan. Slimmingworld gets a bad press on mumsnet but no one is forcing you to eat muller lights and pasta. I eat mainly lean protein and lots of veg. Premise is 1/3 plate veg each meal. I very quickly felt better for eating better. Look at food as what nutrients will it bring. I walked a lot and swam but no gym. Totally changed my life. BMI now 22. I post all my food to me instagram message me if you like.

I don't have much to say about being overweight, but I can tell you about how I lost weight and how much better it made my life.

I was around 14st (I'm 5ft5) I dressed well, I looked, pretty large, but I didn't feel particularly huge...until I lost weight.

For five months I limited my calorific intake to 1500 per day. I didn't think I could, but I did. I used WFP, I logged everything, I planned every meal and logged it a day ahead of time. I drank a lot of water.

During those five months I lost just over 2st.

Then for the next seven months I brought my calories per day up to 1,800 (I used online resources to find out my BMR), and I exercised two or three times a week (usually Spinning twice, and Pilates once a week).

I lost a further stone over the course of that seven months.

So I'm not tiny now (currently 11.5 stone - thanks Lockdown).

BUT, I fit into 'M' size clothes, from mainstream shops, last summer was the first summer in my entire adult life I didn't get chub rub between my thighs, I don't hate every single photo of myself. If I dress well, I look good - and it's the first time in my adult life I can say that.

If I can do it, you can do it - seriously, I love food, and I'm intrinsically lazy.

@cantory

But - if the organs are buried too deeply in layers of fat it can be extremely difficult to operate, if not impossible. That is not a myth.

When I was working as a dietician in a medical practice there wasn't much that surprised me after a while.

Many others here have added the negatives. With this covid crisis going on I'm reminded that when my mothers surgery went wrong they basically said the reason her lungs collapsed was her weight which made me, after my entire adult life being overweight and sometimes obese it having lost several stone, swear to keep it off. In the end they admitted it was their fuck Up that caused the collapse but her weight had not helped recovery as obesity and lungs are not a great combo.

My mother's obesity however was largely caused by medication and that weight gain made her depression worse so it all spiralled, and I notice you've mentioned medication. Are you on some that is known to cause weight gain? If so, the main thing is not to beat yourself up if you don't lose easily even when you're doing everything 'right'. Also don't be afraid to try different diets out, I always swear there are so many out there because we are all so different. Work towards getting yourself healthier rather than thinner iyswim

@WhenItIsOver Two thirds of people are fat or obese in the UK many have operations. Yes it may be more difficult to do the surgery, it is a myth that you cannot have surgery, unless you are extremely obese.