Some people enjoy patronising and depressing others

[Esprohuy]

Clearly everyone is having a different experience of the current situation. It seems to me from the posts here and elsewhere that MN is full of people searching for threads from people either asking genuinely when others think the restrictions may be reduced, or people expressing mental or emotional.distress due to being locked away, sometimes alone. The pattern is the OP posts, there are a couple of sympathetic/in the case of lockdown speculation dovish opinions then the Depressor swoops, usually with a formulation along the lines of:
If you think these restrictions will be lifted anytime soon you are a naïve fool. Christmas will be cancelled and things will never fully return to normal

In the threads expressing mental distress their standard formulation is a variety of:
FFS pull yourselves together. It's been (insert number) weeks, how the F do you think people coped in the war the. All you are being asked to do is stay in and watch Netflix

There seems to be a remarkably large number of people among this cohort who claim grandparental involvement in WW1/2 and have a partner/sibling serving as a front line NHS worker. These depressors seem to scour MN looking to pounce on people expressing povs like the above.

I know someone who pestered their gp because they had used in inhaler once to give them the 12 week shielding letter. {biscuit}

There’s almost a Puritan aspect; as if some how we can appease the virus out of piety
This was a brilliant part of a brilliant post. I'm fascinated by the unspoken psychology of cultures. I read recently about how post colonial cultures often develop a culture of learned helplessness and a sort of desire to defer which can make them stiflingly conservative and often ripe to exploration.

I think there is in Anglo-Saxon cultures a strong Puritan streak that thrives on fault finding and regards any form of pleasure or relaxation morally wanting. This is perhaps the least commented on ingredient in the Dementor DNA.

I agree I think these type of posters are very dissatisfied with their lives and get a perverse thrill of making others feel as miserable as they do day to day, dementors are going to be bereft when lockdown ends and life slowly begins to return to normal, you have to feel sorry for them really that their own pleasure in life is to try to make everyone as miserable as they are.

I'm someone who knows a lot about a very little (by which I mean I have a PhD) and puritans - the original, c17 kind - are my bag. I think the comparison works very well, but especially because a lot of the more recent literature emphasises the sociability of puritanism - that is, that there is actually something intensely pleasurable and bonding about being part of a very small group who (in your eyes) are the only ones who comprehend and correctly react to the world. As someone said upthread, Dementors travel in packs.

Marginal gain-yes that was directly quoted I think in a Guardian article about 2/3 days ago

The Dementors are also absolutely desperate for a second spike, preferably one after a very slight restriction easing in early May, which will lead to a longer, nore draconian lockdown that will give them joy unbounded. Every time they read of Spain or Italy loosening slightly they die a little. It's the puncturing of hopes, the needle in the bouncy castle of joy that gives then their greatest pleasure. I've also noticed there judicious use of the unnecessary and aggressive profanity in the middle of a command. So Stay at Home becomes "Stay the F* at Home"

The fat shaming has been horrendous. Even the long thread with people in many cases justifiably criticising the NHS (and I work for them!) created a lot of posts saying it's not the fault of the Government or the system but fatties.

Others taking glee at anxious obese posters with that fake 'I don't understand..' bullshit I hate so much.

'I don't understand why you're anxious now, weren't you anxious before about all the varied health risks caused by your weight?" . Head tilt.

The health editor of the New York Times, surely a candidate for Dementor in Chief,

The other candidate is Valerie from Somerset who was on the BBC news yesterday, counting cyclists as they went past the end of her drive.

The dementor types I’m acquainted with irl all have a few things in common. This is just my observation.

They all have pretty restricted and locked down lives anyway and this isn’t that much of a change for them. They’re not really giving up much. It’s like the rest of the world has caught up with them and suddenly their lifestyle finds them on the right side for once. They’re the type to have a chip on their shoulder about anyone else who has it better than them. Quite passive in how they attain, or don’t, success in life. It’s always someone else’s fault.

The other candidate is Valerie from Somerset who was on the BBC news yesterday, counting cyclists as they went past the end of her drive.

This is the crux of a lot of what I see. The idea that unless you are existing in abject misery, the lockdown wont work! The virus knows when we arent totally miserable and it will mutate quicker and spread quicker if we express any form of positivity. Smiling at someone is pretty much akin to shooting them with a gun!

Me too. This is not a religiously motivated ritual. If won't spoil everyone else's efforts to appease the gods if a toddler has a packet of wotsits during their official outing.

‘Needle in the bouncy castle’ describes it so well

It’s really prevalent on threads about a potential Disney world trip. People cannot just say ‘not my bag, but enjoy yourself’. It has to be handwringing about how it’s awful, tacky, your kids are spoiled etc, their idea of HELL, they go on a walking holiday to the Highlands every year and their kids LOVE it and aren’t slaves to commercialism etc. You can bet Their kids would bloody love a trip to a theme park. It’s just this idea of everything having to be productive, of not indulging themselves, that some people really love

It’s interesting how many people scurry along with their heads down. As if they’ll be infected by eye contact.

Something I’ve noticed is a kind of inverted exceptionalism. There’s a constant stream of comments along the the lines of Britain being the absolute worst country in Europe, or possibly the world, at handling this crisis and the British citizens the absolute worst people at being in lockdown. I’m not going to claim that as a nation we’ve got everything right, or that our government is the absolute best, or even reasonably good, right now, but we’re not unique in mistakes or people’s behaviour.

DH is a manager with staff spread out across Europe. In the days when Italy was in lockdown and we weren’t, his staff member in Italy was complaining to him that his countrymen were awful because they weren’t lockdowning properly because, and I quote “Italians don’t like being told what to do”. I suspect the same kind of things are being said in almost every corner of the world.

We are not unique in crapness, in fact our universal ability to be crap is something which unites all humans whatever their nationality.

It’s really prevalent on threads about a potential Disney world trip. People cannot just say ‘not my bag, but enjoy yourself’. It has to be handwringing about how it’s awful, tacky, your kids are spoiled etc, their idea of HELL, they go on a walking holiday to the Highlands every year and their kids LOVE it and aren’t slaves to commercialism etc. You can bet Their kids would bloody love a trip to a theme park. It’s just this idea of everything having to be productive, of not indulging themselves, that some people really love

So true.

I think some on here are going quite far the other way. Comments like this "It’s interesting how many people scurry along with their heads down. As if they’ll be infected by eye contact" or "
"they all have pretty restricted and locked down lives anyway and this isn’t that much of a change for them"

The miserable people are classified as puritans. But the way some of you are talking, it's like being a happiness puritan. "I'm superior because I don't moan and let everyone do what they like without comment and don't get too uptight." But many people ARE uptight and control freaky. And the world needs both types of people. It's great you're able to be happy and allow others to be too, and no, I also don't like moany people so much, but I can see why they're like that.

No one likes a moaner but sometimes those people are really suffering. A lot of what is being described here is depression and anxiety manifesting in moaning and negativity.

I personally find some Brits always have to tell you the reasons why one cannot achieve an ambition, rather than being supportive and actually helping you.

Oh, there's no point applying for that promotion. It's sewn up already. No, there's no point your looking into moving area. You won't be able to afford rent there. Not on your current salary. Etc.

And they can have a terrible tendency to complain or backbite at a drop of a hat.

Did you see what they were wearing? Someone should say something. Oh, everyone knows they only got that job cause they know that manager socially through the tennis club. Etc.

I tend to focus on the positive. Criticism can be constructive, and there is no need to bully someone simply because they have the audacity to hold beliefs contrary to your own.

You don't need to tear people down to build yourself up, I feel.

@Chillicheese123 not just Disney trips, package holidays in general. People trip over themselves to say how much they HATE package holidays, their idea of hell, would never go on one, they HATE being anywhere "touristy" with a fiery passion! Ok, yes, we get it, you're so much more cultured.

"Something I’ve noticed is a kind of inverted exceptionalism. There’s a constant stream of comments along the the lines of Britain being the absolute worst country in Europe, or possibly the world, at handling this crisis and the British citizens the absolute worst people at being in lockdown."

I always see people comment that the Uk is a laughing stock to the rest of the world. How much do these people think the UK matters to other countries? No one cares that much, they might see a minute or two on the news and think "how strange" but next time they think about the UK, they won't think how stupid we are, they'll just think big red bus queeny rain tea.

Something I’ve noticed is a kind of inverted exceptionalism. There’s a constant stream of comments along the the lines of Britain being the absolute worst country in Europe, or possibly the world, at handling this crisis and the British citizens the absolute worst people at being in lockdown. I’m not going to claim that as a nation we’ve got everything right, or that our government is the absolute best, or even reasonably good, right now, but we’re not unique in mistakes or people’s behaviour

Yes this is so true. I have lived in France, Spain and Italy. I have close friends in all of those countries, and lots of family in Spain. All are reporting from their local areas exactly the same as we’re seeing here... some people taking the piss and flouting the lockdown, some extreme curtain twitchers, lack of PPE, anger at not locking down sooner, anger at lockdown not being lifted, anger at government incompetence... exactly the same. Spain have issued close to 1 million fines for non compliance. The last I read (and that was a few weeks ago) Italy had issued 900,000 fines and 600 arrests. But posters on here like to tell everyone that we’re the worst possible people and everyone else in Europe is far superior.

And that too TheSkyWasDark. All my friends and family in other countries are far too preoccupied with the 100’s of deaths occurring daily in their country to be taking much notice of what we’re doing!

Driving, exactly, there is so much happening that it's pretty hard to focus on any other countries and like you say, every country has people flouting the rules.

I was surprised that even in Japan, a lot of people were gathering in parks and stuff. I was surprised, I always thought of them as very rule abiding but obviously even very strict countries have their rebels.

@TheSkyWasDark I always think of the sheer numbers of foreign tourists this country gets and somehow it doesn’t correlate with this idea that we are are the laughing stock of the world ?

See also: ‘I am stuck in this hellhole due to family reasons but if I could I’d be out of here as soon as I could and I’d emigrate to SWEDEN/FINLAND/AUSTRIA/BURKINA FASO because it’s SO MUCH BETTER; the government aren’t idiots and there are NO RACISTS! Harrumph! ‘

Somebody recently posted on the village FB page that their dream holiday was cancelled. I said how gutting that must be (they'd saved long and hard for years for their trip). I was piled on "it's only a holiday ffs people have DIED you know, think how their families must feel reading this you stupid bitch" was my particular favourite....the comments were deleted after my reply of..."I'm fully aware people have died because I've just attended my mother's funeral but xxx is still entitled to be upset because their dreams have been smashed. As my mum always said "there's none so ugly as spite make's them" "

I think I may be banned from the page now.

Even the idea of us being the laughing stock of the world is inverted arrogance, it’s assuming the the rest of the world are paying us an undue amount of attention right now.