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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD punched a wall and is now in agony and can’t move her pinkie, will A&E see her?

306 replies

riannonmas · 25/04/2020 05:34

Had a row with her BF on phone and unfortunately punched a concrete wall not considering consequences. Is now in agony, can’t move her pinky finger and her hand is visibly not right. Ordinarily would take her down straight away but the hospital is a major city university hospital and I imagine (Well, also know based on what I’ve heard through social media) swamped with CV. The walk-in minor injuries centre near us is also now focused on CV and telling people not to come in and only go to A&E if it is life threatening, which DD’s situation isn’t. Otherwise they seem to just want you to suck it up. Don’t want to unnecessarily risk exposing her or our family to CV, especially if A&E won’t see her for the hand injury. She is 17 so I’d only be dropping her off as I doubt they’d let me in. Really I want to take her but DH is against it as is terrified of CV and wants me to look up how to treat it at home.

OP posts:
Bringringbring12 · 25/04/2020 17:36

@thedancingbear

* hitting me would feel considerably less intimidating.*

This poster is not saying that it’s “fine”. She’s saying “considerably less intimidating”

EKGEMS · 25/04/2020 17:47

I'm glad you went with your instincts to take her to A&E and she was treated. I encourage ice every hour awake for 20 minutes and then off for half an hour elevate the arm with a pillow above her heart when possible. Any pain Rx take with food and monitor her. Best of luck

saraclara · 25/04/2020 18:00

Please ignore those overreacting to this, OP. I once had to take a friend to hospital for the same thing, after his girlfriend phoned and dumped him, telling him there was someone else.

This guy was the most gentle and sweet of people. I guarantee that he didn't have a violent bone in his body. He displaced his emotion and frustration onto the wall, not a person.

JingsMahBucket · 25/04/2020 18:56

Ignore the trolls OP. Hug your daughter and get on with your weekend.

Nottherealslimshady · 25/04/2020 18:59

People are being a bit harsh. She's young, she's learnt a valuable lesson about controlling her anger. Might be worth having a chat about how to handle anger better. Glad you got to A&E safely.

Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal · 25/04/2020 19:10

Go to a pharmacy and strap it at home. Talk to your daughter about anger management and toxic relationships.

Oysterbabe · 25/04/2020 19:17

Go to a pharmacy and strap it at home. Talk to your daughter about anger management and toxic relationships.

What a useful contribution hours after she's had appropriate treatment in hospital for a broken hand.

Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal · 25/04/2020 19:17

Sorry read your updates. Glad your daughter is ok, I hope she blocks her BF.

Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal · 25/04/2020 19:18

@Oysterbabe wow what a delightful mood your in. You ok? Or having a terrible day and feel need to be sarky on the internet to make yourself feel less crap. I clearly hadn’t read the whole thread- annoying yes not crime or the century.

baubled · 25/04/2020 19:25

Jesus, there are some absolute knobs on this thread, have you all just come out from your rocks because you've got nothing better to do. How about we all take a second to listen to what the OP is saying as funnily enough, she probably knows her daughter better than all you idiots

TKAAHUARTG · 25/04/2020 20:22

Although the OP has stated that her daughter’s relationship is of a troubling nature. So all those stating that hitting the wall is not a typical response are spot on. The daughter is being treated badly by her boyfriend. I think minimising her behaviour as a teenage “tantrum” is harmful.

WilburIsSomePig · 25/04/2020 21:49

I hope that some of the posters on here who both trashed the character of the OP's daughter and invented mental health issues for her too, are embarrassed by their hysterics earlier, particularly after readying @riannonmas updates.

Nobody 'normalised' anything, although some certainly displayed more common sense than others. There was so much projecting and 'well I blah blah blah and I never did anything like this' on here it's like most of posters were about 13 years old. Talking about 'anger management' for something that will very likely be a silly one-off incident (although I'm sure if it happens again the OP will deal with it appropriately) and quite obviously deliberately trying to needle the OP. This place is full of fucking imbeciles at the moment.

BunnytheHoneyBee · 25/04/2020 22:03

I hope that some of the posters on here who both trashed the character of the OP's daughter and invented mental health issues for her too, are embarrassed by their hysterics earlier, particularly after readying @riannonmas updates.

I can’t speak for everyone but I’m sure some of us are just genuinely shocked that some people think this is not a big deal.

JigsawsAreCool · 25/04/2020 22:09

Punching things (usually pillows though not walls!) Is a legitimate way to get out emotions. It's something we often suggest to children when they are trying to stop self harming is to punch something safe. It's using that physical energy to channel and express in a safe way. It in no way means someone would actually punch another human. @riannonmas I'm so sorry you are getting such nonsense over this. Glad you got seen at hosp. Hope dd is ok.

Fromthebirdsnest · 25/04/2020 22:10

Yes take her in , bit s only punching walls through especially right now , tell.her if she gets frustrated like that get a punching bag , might become a new hobby , I hope her hand is ok and that she's not too sad about boyfreind tell her no man's worth hurting yourself for at her age or any age really x

BunnytheHoneyBee · 25/04/2020 22:16

She didn’t punch a pillow. She punched a wall and needed to go to A&E during a World pandemic when the NHS is massively under pressure.

What if we all did this when we were angry or in a difficult spot! We don’t.

RuffleCrow · 25/04/2020 22:16

At 17 they might not do anything more than strap her fingers together and tell her to take paractemol. Worth a try though. Also you need to encourage her to seek help for her mental health.

PickAChew · 25/04/2020 22:16

Fuck sake, the boyfriend wasn't even in the same postcode.

gandalf456 · 25/04/2020 22:39

The nhs is quiet in a and e . They shut our local Minor Injuries Unit because everyone thought they shouldn't visit in this climate and treatment was down 75 per cent

WeAllHaveWings · 25/04/2020 23:44

I can’t speak for everyone but I’m sure some of us are just genuinely shocked that some people think this is not a big deal.

For a hormonal teenager leaning to control emotions it is in the realm of normal. Lash out alone in a room at an inanimate object without thinking. If it was a pattern of behaviour you would have a point, for a one off with lesson learnt it is not, and shouldn't for the sake of the teen, be made into a big deal.

FrippEnos · 26/04/2020 00:17

WilburIsSomePig

Nobody 'normalised' anything,

Quite a few posters have normalised this.
Some have gone OTT.
Some have been quite nasty about the BF with no real information
And some that have been quite vocal about how normal this is are the ones swearing and calling out other posters, maybe this should be considered by the OP when thinking about if she is going to do anything.

But punching a wall is not a normal expression of feelings and should be discussed by the OP and her daughter.

But it also doesn't mean that the dd will turn in to an abuser, but then this is something that should be considered on all threads of this type.

JudyCoolibar · 26/04/2020 01:07

At 17 they might not do anything more than strap her fingers together and tell her to take paractemol.

Hardly. This is a fracture of the 5th metacarpal, in the hand. Strapping fingers together would achieve nothing.

Oblomov20 · 26/04/2020 01:55

All ds1 was given was one of these.

You have to question what good a 'splint' that is made out of bandage/gauze is really going to do?

DD punched a wall and is now in agony and can’t move her pinkie, will A&E see her?
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/04/2020 02:58

The splint achieves 2 things, both useful - it immobilises the damaged finger to prevent further damage, and allows use of the hand without causing extra pain and more damage.

If the metacarpal is damaged, then surgery is a strong possibility - but if it's not then immobilising the finger to prevent twisting and displacement does help.

However it does also run the risk of making the finger stiff and less flexible, which makes the after-care therapy important too.

lola777 · 26/04/2020 03:02

Some of the replies here make no sense.

She did not hit her boyfriend- she hit a wall. An inanimate object is NOT a person.

Whilst it’s likely she was extremely overwhelmed and she should be checked on to make sure she’s okay, unless this happens regularly, I don’t think it’s appropriate to say she has mental health issues or is an abuser. Hmm

It’s not really that surprising that a teenager stressed, in a very unusual and draining situation has snapped and punched a wall. If it happens regularly she should seek help of course, but I don’t think she needs to be labelled as abusive for one outburst of emotion where the only victim was a wall.