Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD punched a wall and is now in agony and can’t move her pinkie, will A&E see her?

306 replies

riannonmas · 25/04/2020 05:34

Had a row with her BF on phone and unfortunately punched a concrete wall not considering consequences. Is now in agony, can’t move her pinky finger and her hand is visibly not right. Ordinarily would take her down straight away but the hospital is a major city university hospital and I imagine (Well, also know based on what I’ve heard through social media) swamped with CV. The walk-in minor injuries centre near us is also now focused on CV and telling people not to come in and only go to A&E if it is life threatening, which DD’s situation isn’t. Otherwise they seem to just want you to suck it up. Don’t want to unnecessarily risk exposing her or our family to CV, especially if A&E won’t see her for the hand injury. She is 17 so I’d only be dropping her off as I doubt they’d let me in. Really I want to take her but DH is against it as is terrified of CV and wants me to look up how to treat it at home.

OP posts:
thedancingbear · 25/04/2020 14:38

It’s not, BillMasen. That’s exactly my point

YinMnBlue · 25/04/2020 14:42

Anyone who has ever in their life, including as a teen, slammed a door in anger, thrown down a dish, thrown a book to the floor, slammed or thrown a phone, banged a file on a desk, ripped something up, jumped out of a car ans slammed the door behind and stropped off home...all need to shut up about the OP's Dd.

JRUIN · 25/04/2020 14:45

@YinMnBlue I take it you would be happy with your DD dating a lad that punched brick walls when angry with her?

CalmConfident · 25/04/2020 14:45

Glad it is sorted, lots of love and support. It’s tough being that age even in normal time.

newnamenumber7 · 25/04/2020 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BunnytheHoneyBee · 25/04/2020 15:16

To those who for some reason have taken it upon themselves to create an entire persona for my daughter in their head

I don’t see anyone has done this OP

gandalf456 · 25/04/2020 15:21

Glad she's been seen. Ignore the comments. People are obviously very bored. Everything will be ok

bobstersmum · 25/04/2020 15:21

Glad she's OK. I did exactly the same thing at almost same age, I had to have a metal rod in mine while it healed. I am not a violent person!

MorganKitten · 25/04/2020 15:31

And if it was a17 year old boy who punched a wall... you’d be quick to say anger management.

gandalf456 · 25/04/2020 15:37

Everyone says that but I feel the dynamic is different coming from a male as they're physically stronger.

Id feel far more intimidated if my dh started punching things than I would in the case of my teenage daughter. If she started on me, Id have 100% more of a chance of fighting her off than him

MorganKitten · 25/04/2020 15:47

I’ve been in an abusive relationship with my ex, but I play roller derby and I’ve seen off track aggression from women and fights.
All violence and aggression is wrong.

Flumo · 25/04/2020 15:51

Definitely take her in, nhs are advising anyone who need medical attention to not hesitate.

iklboo · 25/04/2020 16:10

Definitely take her in, nhs are advising anyone who need medical attention to not hesitate.

The OP already has taken her in, had her seen to and is back home - a couple of hours ago.

JRUIN · 25/04/2020 16:15

Id feel far more intimidated if my dh started punching things than I would in the case of my teenage daughter. If she started on me, Id have 100% more of a chance of fighting her off than him

So now you are saying violence against men is ok because men are physically stronger?

Original poster
riannonmas · 25/04/2020 16:16

No violence against men or against anybody has occurred in this situation...FFS.

There are more appropriate places to have that discussion

OP posts:
Changednamesorry · 25/04/2020 16:19

I agree that the reaction would be completely different if this had been a 17 year old boy.

GrolliffetheDragon · 25/04/2020 16:29

The other week DH and I both took a very late night walk (alone, sequentially, probably not the best plan as dark and lonely) because we were both so frustrated with lockdown and lack of alone time!

I've done this a couple of times. Nobody about, keeps me sane as what I desperately need is time on my own.

GrolliffetheDragon · 25/04/2020 16:31

If a 17 year old boy punched the wall in his bedroom with nobody else around after an upsetting phonecall and after weeks of lockdown and all the accompanying stress I don't think I would view it differently from a girl doing it.

lljkk · 25/04/2020 16:32

Will she be able to recover fully without surgery, OP?

You're probably not reading any more... I could tell a funny story about how we discovered DS broke something in his hand which has to do with punching something... but I don't think the thread knows how to be light-hearted. Hope your DD gets an easy recovery, anyway. x

cheeseycracker · 25/04/2020 16:34

Hi Op. I'm the poster who's son had given himself a boxers fracture a few weeks ago but was told to stay away from a&e.

Could you let me know what they did? Is it just strapped or is it in a proper cast?

gandalf456 · 25/04/2020 17:12

No violence is acceptable. But a 6ft 12 st man could overpower me quite easily. I wouldn't be able to overpower him.

Again, a 17 year old child - especially a girl for her physical size - hitting me would feel considerably less intimidating.

My 16 year old daughter regularly hits, punches and throws things (yes, she's had help ). She is 5 ft 2 and can tell you all for certain it would feel different - less scary - if DH or a 6ft 17 year old did it.

Now, none of this applies to the op anyway and I agree this discussion is unhelpful

JRUIN · 25/04/2020 17:15

Now, none of this applies to the op anyway and I agree this discussion is unhelpful

I agree that stating the bleeding obvious is unhelpful. Good for you for getting your DD help for her anger problem though.

thedancingbear · 25/04/2020 17:21

Again, a 17 year old child - especially a girl for her physical size - hitting me would feel considerably less intimidating.

My 6' 3" rugby-playing brother's ex threw an iron at him. The only reason he wasn't seriously hurt was because it was plugged in and he was out of range. The flex caught it and stopped it in its tracks.

Everyone recognises that male violence is the bigger problem. We shouldn't therefore imply that the reverse is fine because women are smaller. DV is DV.

SunshineCake · 25/04/2020 17:25

Has your dh accepted he was wrong?

I hope your daughter recovers quickly. Please don't push her re the boyfriend. It doesn't alway end well when forced to cease contact before one is ready.

FWIW my boyfriend got upset with me over something and he punched a hole in the wall on his hallway. I was at home. Thirty years later and he hasn't hit another thing ever.

Feedingthebirds1 · 25/04/2020 17:34

Hi OP

If you do come back - what was your DH's reaction when you got home? I hope he now accepts you did the right thing.

She feels guilty and shite about the whole thing - that's the key. She'll be fine, it was a one off, and crucially she isn't trying to make it anyone else's fault that she did it.