Obese 4 year old and grandparents

[user1468863258]

I am beyond upset so please help me rationalise this one.
And sorry for a long post!
I have a 4 year old who is at 99% of his weight and 10% of his height constantly hungry and has no sense of when he is full. Lots of tantrums and other behaviour issues around food. We are seeing specialists but so far no diagnosis apart of him being classed as extremely obese. We have been struggling with this since he was born even though all have very healthy diet ( no sweets, no processed food, lots of veggies etc). We have been very on top of his portion control so managed to get him to 77% in the last year. He is still 3 kg overweight but at least we were moving the right direction.

Fast forward to the last month when we are living together with his grandparents. We have tried to explain our concerns about his eating and tell them the portions we use etc. But they just ignore it and continue to give him the amounts they think is right for him. Of course they think that nothing is wrong with him and he just needs to eat more.
I just measured his weight and he has gained 1 kg in the last month which brings him back to 99%. I know that he is Young but we went through so much difficulty to get him where he was now: constantly monitoring his intake, making sure he does not over eat, talk to him about eating habits, feeling full , importance of eating the right amount...And now after more then a year of this we are back to square one! I Just don't know if I can do this again! Feel like I am falling apart and can't think rationally. Due to the current circumstances we all need to live together and get alone. How do I make this ok in my head? Should I forbid the grandparents to feed him?

Am I blowing this out of proportion?

Smoothies can be okay, depending what you put in them. Two of mine will only have smoothies for breakfast - they are too busy in mornings so make it, pop in takeaway cup before heading out door and they drink it on bus. They use a plant based milk, generally almond, some Greek yoghurt, rolled oats (plain, not the Instant stuff in watchers with all the nasty stuff in), few berries, piece of banana and small squirt of honey. I’m sure there is a lot of other stuff you could use for suitable healthy smoothies.

*instant stuff in satchets ffs

@JinglingHellsBells until we had our second child, I'd have agreed with you that it can't be possible to have an obese child if his food intake is right. But I can assure you it is. We have a very skinny six year old who always followed the 70th centile and then dropped a bit as he ran around more. We also have a 4 year old who has been on the 99th centile since he was six weeks old. EBF just like the first. Got referred to dietitian. She confirmed we were doing nothing wrong. However, unlike the OP I have actually never pursued it further or tried to change it.

@Tootletum, if his height is also around the 99th centile then it's not a problem, but would be if there was a marked difference in them.

Yes, I'm aware of that - it's not. His stomach overhangs his shorts. He's four. This thread has made me think I should be more worried about it.

I.struggle to understand overweight people and children as I'm very slim & have very slim children who are very healthy and active but as if read the thread and saw that no1 had mentioned this I thought I would ... I have chrones and I'm a ceoliac and also am vegan , I think it would be very difficult to gain weight on my diet , have you tried cutting out eggs , dairy and meat ? (My children are vegans , my 4 year old is a life vegan and all v active and healthy ) .. I really recommend Trying it for a month , vegan food tends to have far less calories so he would get to eat more .. A typical day we would give our children porridge for breakfast with fresh fruit , a cooked lunch most days of rice or pasta with a homemade sauce and dinner would be something like tofu padthai they also have unlimited fruit and salad veg as snacks & things like hummus and rice cakes /breadsticks .. It must be really hard going though this op especially if your parents sent supporting you .. Can you make up his meals he needs to have with grandparents and prepare snacks? I make up little pots of hummus and cashew ranch dip and pre chop cucumber and carrots for the kids to help themselves to , they also have unlimited access to fruit and I pre Chop mango and water melon (or any other fruit that's not easy to just grab) for them maybe if you did this your parents would feel better that there's an option of he's hungry xx

until we had our second child, I'd have agreed with you that it can't be possible to have an obese child if his food intake is right. But I can assure you it is.

The key there is the food intake is NOT right. It’s not the same for each child as everyone has a different metabolism etc. So the right amount for one child is not the same as the right amount for another child. It would be exceedingly rare that there is a medical problem behind an obese child. Some kids need double the exercise of other kids if eating exactly the same amount of food, or a smaller portion size than another child the same age/size. In some cases an older siblings food portion should be smaller than a younger siblings. It’s all so individual.