To post a letter back?

[Claplikeaseal]

Sorry, it's another clapping thread.🙄

So every Thursday some of my neighbours go out clapping, banging saucepans etc. Which is good for them. However, my DD is 2 and I suspect has some sensory issues because loud noises of any kind distresses her.

She's usually in bed but of course when the noise starts it scares her, she covers her ears and cries. So, naturally, I don't go outside to clap and comfort her. I probably wouldn't anyway, simply because I feel there are many other better ways to support the NHS which I do make an effort to do.

Last night I received a letter about how the "community" had noticed we hadn't been clapping and they were upset we were letting the "community" down and they hope we make an effort next time 🤨. There was more, it was nearly a full page letter but that's the gist.

I know who posted it, my partner opened the door. WIBU to post a letter back? Basically telling them to fuck themselves but in a way in which will make them think twice next time? I now feel uncomfortable and like all the neighbours are gossiping, but then I don't feel I should have to defend my actions as it should be my choice regardless of my reasons.

I’ve had similar from a neighbour. They’d noticed that dh and I weren’t clapping for the nhs.

I pointed out a number of things to her (she got me on a bit of a bad day):

• we don’t technically have the nhs here (in jersey. We have healthcare obviously but it’s not called nhs - I was being a pedant);
• me clapping isn’t going to do anything to support our healthcare system;
• I support our healthcare system in other ways but don’t feel the need to broadcast it;
• the clapping time is around the kids bedtime and the noise scares them (oldest is 2.5)
• stop being a nosy busybody.

It’s pissing me off now. The NHS staff I know want PPE, not idiots clapping and bashing pans on their doorsteps.

Someone around here has some ghastly klaxon they let off and other people set fireworks off . 8pm is many children’s bedtime, it isn’t reasonable behaviour at all.

How bizarre

We had someone near us setting off fireworks last night. I’m sure all the local NHS workers with pets just loved that

I didn’t clap the other week because I was putting DC to bed and wasn’t paying attention to the time. I had one neighbour questioning why I hadn’t been out the next day. It’s kind of sinister how some people seem to think it’s compulsory.

@ MinorArcana it seems to have become a battle of who can make the most noise, sadly these muppets always ruin it.

I disagree with the suggestions of an aggressive response. Of course no one should feel pressurised into happening, the letter you received is ridiculous, and you shouldn't have to justify your behaviour, but what is the point of matching their rudeness with your own? One day this will all be over and good relations with neighbours are important. I'd want my neighbours to understand why I was not joining them and that their behaviour was having a detrimental impact on my daughter.

I'd write a very polite letter saying what you said in your OP, making clear that you support NHS staff but that your priority has to be to calm your child who they are upsetting. You might as well get them on your side rather than just antagonise them.

I would definitely be asking her why the fuck she thinks it has anything to do with her and no, it’s not the law so she can fuck right off. I’d be furious.

I'd post the response as an open letter so everyone can see.

I am getting really pissed of with ITV’s virtue signaling. Stopping programming so we can all clap. It’s not for them to dictate to me about clapping. I pause the TV and fast forward through it. It makes not a blind bit of difference to the NHS.

Don't write back just grin at her in a very knowing way each time you see her from now on. It will annoy the shit out of her forever more.

If I were to write back, I was thinking something a long the of lines of this... What do you all think?

Dear "community",

We received your letter last night, and would just like to inform you of the reason why we don't go outside and clap. As you are aware, I have a toddler. What you may not be aware of is that she becomes distressed by loud noises. So, I'm usually comforting her, due to the unexpected noise everyone is making.

I DO support the NHS. I donate what I can to charities which help them. I support, share and sign petitions made to help the NHS staff gain what they need. The business in which my father owns has also offered discounts to NHS staff, despite taking a huge hit financially himself. However, I haven't felt the need to broadcast this and don't feel I should have to justify myself. Nor do I need to clap in order to show my support and gratitude.

Your letter made me feel uncomfortable. I won't be clapping in future either and feel that people shouldn't be judged by their choices as everyone will have their own reasons. I hope that in future the "community" can take this on board and be more considerate and kind to others. I hope this doesn't upset or offend anyone, I just wanted a chance to express my side.

Yours sincerely

"My house number"

Take a big shit, wipe bum with letter, return to sender.

Tear the letter up, post it in an envelope and send it back.

I'm not advocating aggressive letter-writing, despite the provocation, as I consider passive aggression and anonymous-letter-writers in particular to be about the lowest of the low. But that will get the message across alright.

I'm sorry people are having to face this monstrous policing of their freedom and behaviour by the Neighbourhood Prefects. These impossible people really need to wind their necks in. for you and your DD.

I'd be inclined to write whatever pops into your head, any vitriol or piss off aresehole etc. And then post it to yourself, with the original letter and perhaps a bit of toilet paper like a pp suggested.
When the postman delivers your letter back to you I'm pretty sure you'll feel like a weight has lifted, you've vented and have a secret to hug every time you see your twattish neighbour.
By the way, our selfish self centred neighbours are completely ignoring the advice not to mix households and still have family and grandchildren visiting.

Nb. Don't give them any form of explanation. You do not have to explain your behaviour and motivation to this over-entitled, sanctimonious PoS.

I wouldn’t send your letter. It’s much too long and nice. She will pick holes in it and take the piss out of you as all your explanation does is give her a ton of ammunition. I wrote something too long as well. Out of everything written so far, I really like what Nottherealslimshady a lot. To the point and not point scoring.

Yes, you're right about my letter. It is too nice and explains way too much. I just hate the idea of them stood outside gossiping about us, it makes me feel shit.

But, I take your opinions on board. And fuck them

Tell them Next time to shit in their hand before clapping. It’s not fucking compulsory!

I can't believe the amount of threads I'm reading about this same issue. Who the fuck do these people think they are?! Since when do people feel entitled not only to question what others do, but have expectations of them? Cheeky fuckers.

What arse's !
Your choices are;
Do nowt - ignore the CFers

Post it back shredded - please include glitter

Post it back asking if they can prove they are Covid free and what will they do about it if you contract it from their letter - obv no one can prove any of this but it should stop any more letters coming

Draw up a sponsor form for them to sponsor you to do something ( make sure it is something you like doing , like eat a square of choc every waking hr on the hr ) take the offending letter to each neighbour ask them if they agree with it if they do shove your sponsor form at them telling them you want a min donation of £5 per square of choc.
You get to eat choc and the NHS get ££s win - win

If anyone says clapping cost nothing ask them exactly what it does do to help the NHS rather than just boost their self important egos

I may of been thinking about this to much

People are so fucking disappointing. This time has really shown a lot of people up for the total wankers they are.

I don't know what I'd do, op- probably something stupid like take a picture of the letter and post it to my local facebook group with a rant about what a wanker the writer was, kick off a massive argument and then regret I'd done it at all.

Nb. Don't give them any form of explanation. You do not have to explain your behaviour and motivation to this over-entitled, sanctimonious PoS.

This. How dare they question what you are doing/not doing! I wouldn’t write back but I would confront her verbally when I next saw her for being such a coward posting anonymous letters through people’s letterboxes. Once you have confirmed it is who you think it is, I’d tell as many people as possible what happened and who sent you the letter in case she sent her delightful letter to others too.. The cheek of her telling people what to do!!! I would completely ignore her when I pass or see her outside from then on.

I would also tell them to fuck off.

I don’t go outside and clap- I did the first week but I’m not doing it every week. I don’t explain myself to anyone.

I also didn’t tell anyone (other than here as it’s anonymous) that instead of clapping my brother and I have spoken to a local hospital and we paid for and delivered PPE they were desperate for.

I couldn’t care less what people think of me for not clapping and I would shove any note where the sun doesn’t shine.

I think the problem with writing a letter is that it buys into the idea that you have to justify your choices to your neighbours. You don't. At all. Honestly I would just ignore it. Or send their letter back to them (unmarked) in an envelope full of glitter.

In their defence they don't know that your child has sensory issues. It is a personal choice and of course we can't know other people's circumstances.

Why is it any kind of 'defence' when somebody assumes that everybody else is a carbon copy of them and takes that as justification for telling you off when you don't act precisely as they would (and thus approve)?

I could just as easily go up and down my street throwing jagged bricks through everybody's windows and then, when they complain, insist that, in my defence, I had no way of knowing that they didn't want their windows smashing.