To post a letter back?

[Claplikeaseal]

Sorry, it's another clapping thread.🙄

So every Thursday some of my neighbours go out clapping, banging saucepans etc. Which is good for them. However, my DD is 2 and I suspect has some sensory issues because loud noises of any kind distresses her.

She's usually in bed but of course when the noise starts it scares her, she covers her ears and cries. So, naturally, I don't go outside to clap and comfort her. I probably wouldn't anyway, simply because I feel there are many other better ways to support the NHS which I do make an effort to do.

Last night I received a letter about how the "community" had noticed we hadn't been clapping and they were upset we were letting the "community" down and they hope we make an effort next time 🤨. There was more, it was nearly a full page letter but that's the gist.

I know who posted it, my partner opened the door. WIBU to post a letter back? Basically telling them to fuck themselves but in a way in which will make them think twice next time? I now feel uncomfortable and like all the neighbours are gossiping, but then I don't feel I should have to defend my actions as it should be my choice regardless of my reasons.

Yanbu.

Wtf is wrong with people. A few of our neighbours don't clap, I think oh that's a bit of a shame but I'm sure they have their reasons!

I missed the first 3 weeks because I was busy!

Don't tear the letter up. I'd explain.

It's ironic, really - there was an attempt that I don't think really took off to have everybody cheering for all of the country's children, who are undoubtedly suffering a lot from all of this, without the wisdom, experience, knowledge and agency that adults will have to try to deal with it.

Most of these children will be trying to get to sleep or woken up terrified by all of the noise at 8pm on Thursdays. To be fair, I think the proposed kids' thing was suggested for a few hours earlier, not that this helps babies and napping toddlers, mind.

It's like giving everybody an A-board emblazoned with messages of their earnest support for the issues experienced by blind people and then getting them to strew them all along the length and breadth of the High Street.

This sort of thing is really happening? I’m shocked. What does it achieve? Especially from people who claim to be all about “community“. I can just imagine what would happen here if people got letters lambasting them for not clapping. Guns would likely be involved in some places here.

Who ARE these people? MN is a big site. There must be at least one clapping fanatic on here. I’m genuinely interested.

This sort of thing is really happening? I’m shocked. What does it achieve?

There was an anti-bullying campaign in Britain several years ago, with children encouraged to buy and wear wristbands in support of it. There were reports that some children were bullied for wearing one, for not wearing one or for wearing the 'wrong' type. You just can't fix stupid and nasty, sadly.

I would post a letter back saying how they were scaring the shit out of your child. Can you get some ear muffs for your child?

My daughter was very noise sensitive when she was younger, she is much better now (7yrs ) but would have been terrified and dreadfully upset at two.

Do NOT give an explanation. You should not defend your actions. How dare they?!

My dm once received a letter from a relative berating her. My dm ripped it up and sent a sheet of toilet paper with it. Just a suggestion.

I don’t get these people. I’m on a local fb site and there’s a few Stasi types on there questioning why not everyone clapped in their street 🙄

OP both my kids are noise sensitive but the eldest was especially bad at two. They did improve.

As for the clapping thing I don’t do it. If I got a letter like that I’d have a ready made poster for my window for next Thursday at 7.55pm with “shhh sleeping baby” just to make a very public point... but I am petty and love winding up my holier than thou (but still have family visiting twice a week) neighbours.

You need to shame them I'd confront them or post on local FB group

I clap for the NHS as my daughter is a nurse, although I still would. In their defence they don't know that your child has sensory issues. It is a personal choice and of course we can't know other people's circumstances.

It is however, wrong, to post letters.

You have made me think. I never considered sensory issues before this post.

What a nob, I would explain personally as I think this would make them realise what an arsehole they were being (hopefully anyway!!)

I would ignore it, put it safe to one side, and wait for the next two or three to come through when again you don’t clap.

Then take it to either the police or the local newspaper to complain about harrrasment - your neighbours must know that you have a 2 yr old - it’s not difficult to realise that the clapping will scare them (even without noise sensitivities).

Or have your bin next to the door so that the nect time they put it through the door your do can be there standing next to the door with the bin ready to catch the letter. After all it’s not a very socially distancing sensible thing to do as they could be carrying the disease and contaminate the letter making you all ill - not very considerate of the nhs to give them more work...

I would post it back. I hate how the clap on Thursday's seems to have become compulsory [ I do it because I want to ].
I would ask them where this is written in law that you have to do it. I wouldn't make any excuses as to why you don't. That is not for them to know.

I would also put someone up on your local facebook about how upset you are that you are being condemned by someone for not clapping. That will soon stop them.

It’s become absolutely ridiculous. Personally, if I got a letter like that, I’d put it on my Facebook with a comment saying how distressing I found it and that I felt that people going out of their way to discover who was or wasn’t clapping, very intrusive and weirdly obsessive. I’d go on to point out that we do not live in some dictatorship, where it is not enough to support a cause, but where we must be publicly ‘seen’ to support said cause.

I’d also point out the many reasons that some people can’t or do not wish to stand in their doorstep clapping. But then again, I’ve ceased to take shit from people.

Last nights ‘Wankers parade’ included one neighbour sitting in his car, blading his horn for nearly ten minutes (everyone knows he hates both his neighbour, so was probably taking the opportunity to puss them off, a few doors down, sat in his car revving his engine (isn’t that marvellous for the environment?) Of course we had the DJ/karaoke wailer, who lives a few streets away who sang and played shite music for an hour. I’m sure all the parents that were still trying to get their small children to sleep, really appreciated that.

I daresay my name was mud, because I continued to build my shed. There are no small children in the houses around me, so my handsaw and battery operated drill wouldn’t have disturbed them.

*blasting his horn

I would write fuck off on it and post it back.

Shows of appreciation lose their meaning when they become mandatory. Even more so when people assume that because you don’t join in you don’t appreciate whatever they’re clapping for.

Excuse my SPAG

Rip the note up into teeny tiny pieces, put it inside an envelope, make it very difficult to open, and post it back through their door. Include glitter if you have some so it goes everywhere when they open it.

Glitter! brilliant!

I would send a letter back very calmly and reasonably. If you're angry you'll just reinforce the idea that you're a dick if you're calm and reasonable hopefully they'll realise they're being dicks.

I would write back, "Hello, my daughter has sensory issues so the clapping affects her." Please stop writing me notes, asking me to clap."

I would message back asking if they sent it to the correct address, but whilst I'm writing thank you for clapping for Carers. As a carer to my daughter I appreciate the intention behind it whilst I am comforting her through her distress due to the auditory distress it causes her

I am grateful for your responses. I think I will just ignore and wait and see if they have the cheek to post another next week. Then maybe I'll do the glitter with a big fuck off written inside .

It was my next door neighbour who wrote it, and she's always had a bit of a superiority complex and made me feel quite small on numerous occasions, I've lived here 8 years, and I've seen no sense of community 🤷. She was outside with a few other neighbours so I'm sure I know the one's involved.

The neighbours on the other side are thankfully lovely so I'll talk to them about it later when I see them in the garden (at a distance) and the other neighbour will probably hear that I think she's an idiot anyway