'We're pregnant'

[shesgrownhorns]

AIBU to hate this? You're not BOTH pregnant, only one of you is!

I think language does matter.

Only women can be pregnant, only women can give birth, only women can breastfeed. My husband couldn’t have been more supportive and our losses were shared and our daughter is ours but the direct experience of pregnancies, miscarriages, surgeries, labour were mine and he’s hugely respectful and appreciative of that rather than trying to co-opt them for himself.

The men I know who claim pregnancy and delivery as equally theirs aren’t respectful of their wives/partners experiences.

A colleague had no pain relief during his wife’s long and difficult labour. Well no, why the fuck would he. When I caught up with her later she’d have given an arm for some pain relief and didn’t appreciate him bragging. “We didn’t want an epidural” Twat.

Hate hate hate, DP kept saying this when I got pregnant until I flew off the handle at him about it. 'I'm pregnant' but 'we're having a baby' is much more palatable

Yes - it's me having morning sickness and spots and all the other stuff that comes with pregnancy. But my husband is also doing a huge amount of things that he wouldnt be doing if I wasn't having a baby. His life has changed too.

This is a really mean thread.

I usually start shouting at the tv when I hear this. Gives me the rage 😂

While I appreciate that saying “we’re pre menstrual” or we’re dying “ sounds ridiculous... making a baby actually takes two people. It doesn’t just happen to one person.
Maybe a man would like to share in the joy?
Saying “we’re pregnant “ does sound a bit naff but a baby is, surely, a shared joy?
I’ll get me coat...

Yup. It's not only annoying, it's medically inaccurate. Being pregnant doesn't just mean a baby appears in 9 months time. It has all kinds of effects on the body and health of the pregnant person, some of which last long beyond the time of pregnancy. None of which are experienced by the father at all.

"We're expecting a baby." Fine.
"We're pregnant." No, YOU aren't, SHE is.

@HillAreas I’m glad you mentioned the ‘stabby vagina’. I had that and wondered what on earth was going on!

Yes, cringe. However I hate the 'we' overall that some couples use. I have a friend who when you ask how she is or what she's been up to, it's always "we" did this or "we" did that oe "we're" fine. It is never, ever, just 'I'. I hate the loss of identity that some women seem to experience upon getting into a relationship, perhaps men also however in my own personal experience, it's always been women.

I hate this!!! YANBU

YANBU. I find it weirdly icky.

"We're expecting a baby" is so much more appropriate.

I have a (male) friend who said this. He also told me, in all seriousness, that he had sympathy morning sickness and sympathy labour pains. My eyes nearly rolled out of my head.

The men I know who claim pregnancy and delivery as equally theirs aren’t respectful of their wives/partners experiences.

I was just thinking about the term 'delivering a baby' as well. How can the same phrase mean two distinct roles in childbirth (one very much more difficult than the other)? But you never hear it said of a midwife 'enabling a baby to be delivered', do you? Maybe we should all agree to say that the mother has delivered and that the midwife has 'taken delivery of a baby' ?!

Pregnant doesn’t technically mean expecting, pregnant means a female carrying developing offspring in their uterus/ womb.
It takes 2 within a couple to conceive,only the woman is pregnant and can carry the embryo.

Hate it, luckily it wasn't an expression 20 years ago

Unless you are a sea horse
😂🤣😂

Yes, totally agree.

However it's not as stab inducing as "baby mama"- meaning apparently the mother of his (or the) child.

I was just thinking about the term 'delivering a baby' as well. How can the same phrase mean two distinct roles in childbirth (one very much more difficult than the other)?

One may be physically more exhausting but I would not say the role of the midwife is easy.

I have a (male) friend who said this. He also told me, in all seriousness, that he had sympathy morning sickness and sympathy labour pains. My eyes nearly rolled out of my head.

Did you react instinctively with a sharply-aimed kick and then comfort him soothingly as he bent double with "Ooh, yes, I find being booted in the balls such a horribly painful experience too" ?

It's kind of a trite phrase but I also hate this overly worrying about the exact wording other people use.

This. It's one of those phrases mumsnet users seem to loathe, but I just don't really care if people say it.

Such a gwyneth paltroism

It’s a pet hate of mine too!

Pregnant doesn’t technically mean expecting, pregnant means a female carrying developing offspring in their uterus/ womb.

In common understanding, yes, but a pause cannot carry a baby.

One may be physically more exhausting but I would not say the role of the midwife is easy.

Sorry, terrible choice of wording. Of course, I meant that - not intending to imply at all that a midwife's job is easy. It still seems weird, though, that the same word is used to describe two distinct roles in the process (each with their own difficulties and issues).

Couldn't give a shit and caring about it is overly judgemental as it really doesn't impact you.

Personally, I would choose "we're having a baby" but it means exactly the same thing.

It's one of those phrases mumsnet users seem to loathe

I'm one of those people who absolutely loathe the phrase 'plating up' - and I'm not alone in that, as per a recent associated thread. No issues whatsoever with 'dishing up', though. Mad, isn't it?

I corrected my partner when he said to his parents 'we're pregnant'.