Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DD isn’t earning enough to live alone in London?

411 replies

Sunnydaysp · 22/04/2020 08:59

DD is 27 and earns £65k a year. She currently has a long commute in to London for work each day but following her recent divorce and sale of their home, she wants to move to London for a fresh start. She has no DC, so is looking at one bed flats which appear to be around £1,500-£2,000 a month in rent, not to mention all of the bills on top too. I appreciate that DD earns a very good wage for her age, however, I’m concerned that she will be stretching herself too far by attempting to live alone and paying an extortionate amount in rent rather than house sharing, which seems to be the norm for most young professionals. She seems to think she can easily afford it, but DD has never lived alone and doesn’t really seem to appreciate the cost of living, as ex husband always managed the household outgoings etc. AIBU in thinking that DD will be stretched in attempting to live alone on her salary in London with the rental amounts described?

OP posts:
user1473343040 · 22/04/2020 14:38

What is this high-paying job?

Misses point entirely

Connie222 · 22/04/2020 14:41

Of course she can afford it. Until recently we lived in London, rent of 2k a month with two kids on a third of what she’s earning.

Thisismytimetoshine · 22/04/2020 14:46

27 is super young. Only from the vantage point of your mid nineties, I'd say.

Yelllow · 22/04/2020 14:50

Yes she can afford it.. and she's old enough to handle a place on her own. House shares are for college students not grown up professionals.

Tighnabruaich · 22/04/2020 14:52

Why doesn't she go into a house share? She's only 27 and it seems very young to be living on your own.

To the poster who wrote that - I take it you are being sarcastic? Why would a nearly 30 year old be "very young" to be living on her own?

Iwalkinmyclothing · 22/04/2020 14:54

My DM thinks I am young (I'm 38). My dc think I am old- ds3 particularly does, he asked me at the weekend what it was like in the olden days. It's all relative. But the point is, a 27 year old is a fully fledged adult. They have been a legal adult for 9 years. A 27 year old with a £65k job and a marriage and divorce behind them is a grown up.

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 22/04/2020 15:05

the beautiful martial home they worked hard to buy together, it’s a very sad situation.

It does sound as if you have a lot of opinions about your DD's life. She might not share your views so be careful how many of them you share with her. Sometimes discretion is the better part...

I am within my rights to share my view with her.

There is "within your rights" and then there is "what a wise parent would do". Yes you are within your rights to give your DD advice that she didn't ask for, but it's not always wise.

I’m simply concerned that the astronomical rental prices of living alone may leave her shorter than is ‘comfortable’ each month, regardless of her age.

Sounds as if you simply want her to do whatever you think best, regardless of her age.

Nanny0gg · 22/04/2020 15:09

@Scardot
nanny0gg that’s your choice but you had kids young. Maybe it’s different if you live In a town somewhere and not one of the biggest capitals in the world.

No, it wasn't young. Irrespective of where you live.

London is full of the Thirty Flirty and Thriving, 27 is young!

If she's old enough to earn that sort of money then she's not 'young'.

Stop infantilizing her.

AnnofPeeves · 22/04/2020 15:10

My DC are similar ages. I wouldn't dream of posting about their financial choices on here, it really is up to them how they spend their money. It's up to her to decide how much money she needs to be comfortable, who she does or doesn't live with and whereabouts she lives.

By the way, it isn't your job to protect her. It's your job to support her own choices. Very different.

Scardot · 22/04/2020 15:12

@nanny0gg, you sound bitter, I hope you’re okay.

OP all the best to you dd and her big move, what an exciting time.

Nanny0gg · 22/04/2020 15:16

LOL!

Bitter? Why? I think that the woman in question has been old enough to get married, get divorced and get a job that pays very good money.

I think she's old enough and mature enough to decide where she wants to live.

I've just seen that you're a similar age to the OP's daughter. One could question your maturity by your answer. But that would be rude...

Throckmorton · 22/04/2020 15:16

I lived in London quite well on less than a half of that. London or not, that is a high wage!

Cyllie33 · 22/04/2020 15:23

That’s is a very high wage. Even with London rents she can easily afford it. She is right and YABU I’m afraid.

Extracurricularfatigue · 22/04/2020 15:24

I'd reckon on about £1.5k free after rent, supermarket and bills at the very least - which is plenty for most people's needs. It won't buy you loads of designer gear, but she's just one person, so pretty much most other things are achievable. She might save a bit but maybe she just needs some hedonism after what she's gone through. She's not going to end up on the streets from not meeting her bills.

It's not forever. She might just need a wild year or two before she thinks longer term. Why stress now?

Candyfloss99 · 22/04/2020 15:25

27 is young. Most people don't have 2 children by the time they are 27. They want to have their own fun first.

Dumbie · 22/04/2020 15:28

£65k and a £1.5-2k rent plus bills will not be a stretch. The bills won't be anything like those quoted by a pp.

She'll eat well and have enough money to play. She may not have 4 holidays a year though.

1.5-2k on rent for a 1 bed place is a bit on the insane side. But who cares, it may only be for 6 months and she can afford it. 27, coming out of a divorce, taking the time to regroup, she may as well be a little decadent. And good on her. I hope she is OK.

percentageshelp · 22/04/2020 15:28

*I’d be really irritated that at 27 my mother was concerning herself enough with my salary and outgoings to post about it on an online forum

She’s a grown woman. Leave her to make her own decisions.*

This ^

OllyBJolly · 22/04/2020 15:32

DD2 is same age, living in a houseshare in SW London. Good job, great social life. there is absolutely no way she would listen to me if I tried to advise her how to live her life

27 is young. London is fabulous. She can always come home if it doesn't work out.

Crabbo · 22/04/2020 15:34

She can definitely afford it, personally I’d live a little further out and spend less but it’s her choice. I live in Leytonstone and she could get a nice enough 1 or 2 bed flat here for more like £1200.

WinterCat · 22/04/2020 15:35

What does she spend her money on that worries you so much? If she takes home £4k per month and has no debt you are aware of, plus possibly will have savings from her house sale, it doesn’t sound as though she is frivolous with money. I’m assuming she has a job with reasonable responsibilities for her salary, so presumably she has the sense to research what costs are and if she is happy she can easily afford it then there isn’t anything you’ve said that would make me question that.

Extracurricularfatigue · 22/04/2020 15:36

This thread is making me feel 'homesick' for my 20s!

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 22/04/2020 15:36

I’m simply concerned that the astronomical rental prices of living alone may leave her shorter than is ‘comfortable’ each month, regardless of her age.

And about a hundred posters have now told you that concern is completely unfounded, so hopefully your mind is now at rest. Unless she has a monstrous coke habit she’ll have plenty of cash to enjoy her life.

theclangersbigplan · 22/04/2020 15:37

If she was on 40k per year and had no accommodation costs, would you still be worried she'd struggle? Because that's the equivalent net wage she'll still be left with: 2.5k a month.
You also mention a house sale in the OP, so she has some cash/assets as a cushion too?
It may be the only time in her life (at least for a long time) that she'll be able to choose where to live without compromise or prioritising someone else.

Purpleartichoke · 22/04/2020 15:41

Find a rent affordability calculator and plug in some numbers. You will find that she can afford those rents.

Living alone is a priority for some people. I am willing to economize in many other areas, to be able to afford my own space. Holidays, clothes, eating out? None of that is worth having to share my living space with anyone other than a romantic partner.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 22/04/2020 15:43

I’m simply concerned that the astronomical rental prices of living alone may leave her shorter than is ‘comfortable’ each month,

I think your definition of "comfortable" may not be the same as many of us.

65K is shedloads for a single person.