To think DD isn’t earning enough to live alone in London?

[Sunnydaysp]

DD is 27 and earns £65k a year. She currently has a long commute in to London for work each day but following her recent divorce and sale of their home, she wants to move to London for a fresh start. She has no DC, so is looking at one bed flats which appear to be around £1,500-£2,000 a month in rent, not to mention all of the bills on top too. I appreciate that DD earns a very good wage for her age, however, I’m concerned that she will be stretching herself too far by attempting to live alone and paying an extortionate amount in rent rather than house sharing, which seems to be the norm for most young professionals. She seems to think she can easily afford it, but DD has never lived alone and doesn’t really seem to appreciate the cost of living, as ex husband always managed the household outgoings etc. AIBU in thinking that DD will be stretched in attempting to live alone on her salary in London with the rental amounts described?

I have lived independently since I was 18 in London, on a lower wage without parental support.

It’s doable on £65k. She obviously won’t have the lifestyle of a millionaire but she’ll be comfortable.

Even in London, no one earning £65k wants to live with random people in a house share. I would want my own space, kitchen/living room included and not have to worry about noise nuisances, random visitors, my food being used etc.

Over the years I have lived with my friends & partner but would never live with strangers. In fact, I’m younger than your daughter and am already tired of living with other people, not surprised she’s choosing to live alone!

At 27 she may well meet someone in the next few years and want to start a family, she really should be thinking about her longer term financial security....

Oh god. How sensible. How utterly utterly boring. Poor woman is already resigned to a life of motherhood and sacrifice.

She should be living her life at 27 not already thinking about and providing for the children she may never have. Would you say the same about a 27 year old man?

People do tend to share in their 20s in London, but as she’s had her own home with her husband, I can see it would be hard to move into a share. She needs to be happy right now. I assume it will be a year long contract, so worst case scenario she can move on after 12 months if she wants to.

DD has chosen to involve me in these discussions, therefore I am within my rights to share my view with her

Be careful about getting over-involved or it may occur to your DD that involving you is not such a good idea after all.

She doesn't need you to tell her what to do and while she may have involved you by telling you her plans it doesn't sound as if she asked for your opinion about them. Did she really ask you "will I be too financially stretched to enjoy any hobbies"?

In any case you can tell her that it is her life and you trust her to make up her own mind. And wish her well.

For those saying house shares are more sociable, not everyone wants to be sociable in their own home. House sharing can be bloody awful, even with someone you actually like. If you're introverted it's even worse and at 27 I felt my house sharing days were behind me, as it drove me nuts and I would rather spend more money to live alone. I did houseshare again in my 30s, because I was broke. I'm of the same opinion - I hate it, to the extent it adversely affects my mental health.

I appreciate some people might be lonely on their own - others will far prefer it.

My dd rents a gorgeous 3 bed terrace in a nice street in Stratford for 1600 a month, with 2 other girls. They all earn under 30k and manage. I think she can afford this.

As in, she can afford the rents she is looking at! My dd and her flatmates are all 21 and fresh out of uni, and she says she doesn't want to be sharing in 5 years if she can help it although she is enjoying it now.

I live in my own, in London, on a very similar salary. I pay towards a mortgage instead, but it's within the range your DD is looking at. I even live in East London.
I live pretty comfortably and am still able to save. I'm sure someone could piss that much up the wall per month and struggle but the vast majority of people will be more than fine.

If she's smart enough to earn 65k she's smart enough to figure out on her own how to manage it all

She earns £4K a month and you are worried she won’t have money to socialise?! You’re insane. She could pay that rent and bills etc and still put £1k a month into savings.

No one who really knows London working would describe £65k as a “very high salary” for living alone

What shite. It IS a high salary for a 27-year-old living in London. I lived and worked in London for years (until last year) so while, no it wouldn't be a very high salary for a 50 something who has spent years working their way up, for a 27 year old it really is.

Fuck me, I’ve never earned more than £40k and lived in London all my life. Yes. Yes you can have a genuinely lovely time on £65k. You could rent somewhere for £1k a month and still be able to save unless I’m missing something.

No one who really knows London working would describe £65k as a “very high salary” for living alone

Well, no plenty of people earn 100s of Ks and more.

But I have lived and worked in London all my working life (I am over 55) and never earned that much, and neither has SH (I am the breadwinner).

At 27 on that salary she is doing extremely well and even at high London rents AND saving and or pension contributions will have more disposable income for socialising and hobbies than many or most of her peers. And me.

What are her hobbies? Flying? Racehorses?

” DD has chosen to involve me in these discussions, therefore I am within my rights to share my view with her.”

Having an attitude about your ‘rights’ alongside posting it online for the world to see might find you not being told these things any more. I’d be mortified if I asked my mum for advice and she posted about it in detail on a forum.

She's 27, young, divorced, she has a good job, a good income, no children, no debt, no mortgage to tie her down at the moment - if now is not the time for her to enjoy her life living in Central London, when would it be? A brand new place, a new beginning, a fresh start. She can always reconsider in a few months or in a year if things don't go as she'd expect them to be.

This wasn’t a stealth boast post at all was it.

OP lost me at £65k a year.

@JohnFinlaysNewTeeth what a ridiculous comment. I’m really not sure what you think I’d be boasting about? DD is 27 and recently divorced and now looking to rent following selling the beautiful martial home they worked hard to buy together, it’s a very sad situation. I know full well that DD earns a good salary - I don’t need anyone to tell me that, I’ve acknowledged it in my post already. I’m simply concerned that the astronomical rental prices of living alone may leave her shorter than is ‘comfortable’ each month, regardless of her age.

for the avoidance of doubt, it'd be fair to say that £65k p.a. is not a very high salary for London.

on the other hand, it'd be total BS to say that it is a not very high salary.

IYKWIM.

I didn't want to house share at 18 and had even less interest in doing that at 27. Let alone restart doing that after divorce.

She can afford it. Sure, rent is a lot in London, but she makes good money. I'd assume that as an adult she knows that expensive rent means less money to spend.

Stealth boast posts are vulgar OP.

YABU simply because DD is 27 and old enough to make decisions like this for herself. Over to her.

@Scardot

Some of you are acting like 27 is old. She’s super young

You're joking, right?

I was married with children at that age. Two of my DC had children at that age (and without that salary!)

@nanny0gg that’s your choice but you had kids young. Maybe it’s different if you live In a town somewhere and not one of the biggest capitals in the world. 🤷🏻‍♀️

London is full of the Thirty Flirty and Thriving, 27 is young!