To think DH cheated? Positive sti results

[turmoil123]

This will be a long one. Don't want to drip feed.

Basically, been married for 5 years, together for 9.

We have a 2yo DS

We have a happy marriage, never ever had reason to doubt his fidelity.

After suffering from bad abdominal pains and unusual discharge for a week, I went to the doctors and had swabs taken. I was put on two different antibiotics until results came back (he did mention chlamydia amongst other possibilities but I didn't think much of it at the time) which they did today. Nurse has told me I have chlamydia.

So, I had a full sti screening not long before I met DH and the only positive result I got was HSV1 which I knew about.

DH has never had a sti check nor has he had any symptoms of chlamydia.

They can't test him just now because sti screening has been suspended due to covid - 19. They have prescribed him antibiotics though and we will both need checked again when testing resumes.

I wasn't checked for chlamydia during my pregnancy, as they don't routinely do it here. The nurse checked my records.

Obviously, I spoke to DH about it. He swears blind he hasn't cheated.

The nurse told me it can lie dormant for many years, but likely would have caused complications with my fertility or pregnancy which obviously it didn't.

Is it even possible he's had it all this time and I've only just caught it from him?

I think I know the answer. But where do I go from here, when he's so adamant he's never cheated on me.

My head is all over the place, I can't even go to a friend or family right now 😔

@little@Redandblue123 I had a test year before getting pregnant, and haven't been tested since

Hello OP, I have heard of a similar situation where the guy caught chlamydia in mens restrooms by not washing his hands properly. It was my friends and they struggled to see how they caught it (as they know none of them cheated) and the doctor that treated the guy said it is actually not that uncommon for men (to touch their bits, then flush and not to wash their hands). Hope this helps.

Also I'd go with my gut instinct. If you don't feel he cheated, he didn't. Trust is easily lost, I hope you'll be able to re-establish yours :)

Where you using condoms prior to ttc?
As then it may explain why you didnt catch it from him prior to that test. Although if you used other forms of contraception eg pill, then it's a bit more suspect as to why you didnt catch it from it prior to ttc?

No we didn't use condoms

I'm pretty sure you get tested for STIs when you are pregnant though right? so you would presumably have had a test then?

So you had a test a year before you got pregnant that was clear? And now you have a sti ...

It’s pretty clear he’s cheated then.

No, I got tested just before we met. 9 years ago. I've not slept with anyone else since. He has never been tested.

I didn't get tested during pregnancy. It's not alway done routinely depending on what health board your are under. The nurse checked my records. No chlamydia test was done.

@ZooKeeper19 you can’t get STDs from public toilets..

What does your gut say OP?
I'd come off this thread personally and call the clinic with any questions you have.
I have read that it can lie dormant for years without any symptoms and it doesn't necessarily cause damage, but that it can do.
Good luck.

@IdblowJonSnow there's no clinic here. I got tested at my GP surgery and have spoken to the nurse there. Not sure who else I can phone for advice

I don't know, but I would be thinking maybe he's been with a sex worker? Any stag do's in the last year or anything like that?

Only you know your husband though, so go with your gut as much as you can 💐

Oh I misunderstood. I thought you had a second test after you'd started dating/had slept together before you got pregnant which would have picked it up if he had passed it to you.
But if you haven't had a single test since you very first got together it's hard to say.

But hoping someone knowledgeable will know if it's possible for dormant clymydia to sudden become symptomatic?

"It's estimated 1 in 10 women with untreated chlamydia may develop PID within a year."

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pelvic-inflammatory-disease-pid/causes/

Dosent state if it's possible to develop it later then a year or after clymydia being dorment for a extended period of time, so cant ascertain if it's possible or not.

How realiable are the tests and I wonder if you could get another one to confirm? Maybe you could speak to a GP about it? I think we could all speculate about it but maybe there is an innocent answer.

NHS also states

"Chlamydia cannot be passed on through casual contact, such as kissing and hugging, or from sharing baths, towels, swimming pools, toilet seats or cutlery."

Anyway sending you lots of love- such a hideous time for extra worry xx

@Aliz I trust the test I had as the symptoms I had were certainly in line with PID caused by chlamydia.

Apparently my test was sent away just before they put a temporary halt on sti screening (maybe that's just my area?) we don't have a separate clinic for sexual health

Could it not be possible that OP was not symptomatic for chlamydia, which could have been dormant, but for PID which was what alerted her to the issue?

I don’t understand enough about it to know, but wondering if this could be the case.

Sorry, haven't RTFT, but just wanted to make a few points:

1. No test is 100% accurate and this includes STI tests. There was another thread on here a while back (tried but I can't find it) about a similar case - 1 parter tested positive the other negative in this case - and on the retest (before taking ABs) the result for the one who had tested positive was negative. Tests can be contaminated/read wrongly etc.

2. If someone takes ABs this should clear it up quickly. However you'll never know if it was a false positive for your test or if your partner ever had it if you've both been treated.

3. Has your partner now had a full STI screen, or is he planning to get one? Other STIs can also remain dormant for many years without it being passed on, some are more difficult than others in this respect. they can then pass it on/become symptomatic after many years.

4. Google online (free) chlamydia testing as many places do free postal testing depending where you live. My local clinic is postal only unless there are symptoms.

HTH

@over50andfab I don't think it was a false positive as symptoms certainly indicated chlamydia which is why doctor prescribed ABs before results were back. ABs are definitely helping, thankfully the pain has subsided.

No clinic here are G P surgery no longer testing for stis as all labs prioritising covid tests. we are both to be re tested when it becomes possible. He's been prescribed antibiotics.

I believe symptoms show within a month of catching chlamydia, I highly doubt it was dormant. I don’t think its like herpes. I men were a bit more honest.

@over50andfab and yes, I think we will both be getting a full sti check when we can.

Will look at online ones, although we are sexually active so presume if I have it so will he!

@ZooKeeper19 you can’t get STDs from public toilets.

STI from toilet seats haven't heard tha myth since the 1960s!!!

@Lina87 It can take years for Chlamydia to show up

My ex gave me chlamydia. He had no symptoms and no idea he had it or when he might have caught it. Obviously I can't be 100% sure he didn't cheat but in my heart I don't believe he did. I developed symptoms maybe 6 months after we'd split up.

Some people's fertility is affected but it's not correct to say that it's "likely" that your fertility would have been affected.