Red hair child

[bibbidibobbididoo12]

I have 2 red head girls age 7 and 9.
Both have started to questions about their hair.
Today one of my children asked is having red hair a bad thing.
Obviously I asked her why?
She explained in a book she was reading when they described a character they used all negative words such as 'fat, ugly and had red hair'.

I am constantly telling them how beautiful their hair is and other people regularly tell them.
But both girls have started saying people are just it to make me feel better about our hair colour.
It's a catch 22 situation.
The oldest girl has been bullied and called ginger idiot and you can't play with us because you have ginger hair.

The whole thing just makes me really sad.

I don't know what to say to them?
Do I say in the past people used to think ginger hair/red hair was not as nice etc or not even tell them that? Then they ask Why did they say that?

Because of the violence of the Vikings who were predominantly Red-headed.....I have a beautiful little red head princess and it burns me so badly when people call jer Ginger or says she has a temper.....Her brothers are adamant that she will never go to school on kick a ginger day

It really depends on who is saying this to her. Kids just repeat the shit they heard or make stuff up to suit them. They probably don’t want to play with her because of other reasons - not her hair colour - but find that’s an easy target. An easy ‘good people don’t comment on someone’s appearence’ and encouraging her to widen her friend circle should be enough.

Also not all ginger / red hair discrimination is down to Vikings. In some Indian / Afghan cultures red hair aversion goes back to the silk route - as some mountain red haired tribes used to hold people to ransom.

The UK view it negatively but in other countries it is seen as extremely beautiful. Perhaps you could show them photographs of famous women with beautiful red hair? Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Amy Adams, Isla Fisher. If they don't know who they are, direct them towards the most famous people in the UK who have red hair, the Royal Family?

@GrumpyHoonMain It also could be that Judas was portrayed as red haired. Please don't negate her feelings about this. Ginger discrimination is a real thing

bc.ctvnews.ca/mobile/kick-a-ginger-day-has-redheads-running-scared-1.344620....Its a real thing

Because red hair is beautiful, that's what it means ❤️😉

She hasn't made it up. The child admitted saying that she can't play with her because she's ginger. The teacher had a word.

I have told her that people are not nice to comment on others appearances. But her comeback is well is that because having red hair isn't nice?

Judas the guy from the Middle East has red hair?!

What was the book, OP?

Is it really viewed negatively in the UK? I’m from the UK and I have to admit the only time I have heard anything negative about ginger hair was in primary school but that was over 20 years ago, I thought times had changed as people are always trying to go red now. I am obsessed with ginger hair and always so envious when I see natural red heads! Then kids are obviously just dick heads

Little kids don't like to be 'different' My own DS wears glasses and has started saying that wearing glasses isn't nice. There is discrimination about red hair in the UK though not much elsewhere.

You could tell her that people pick on something different about others to boost themselves up. Its a form of bullying and explain why people bully and what she needs to do when she is bullied.

You do need to read about red hair with her, show her photos of famous red haired people and celebrate it so she is confident in her own mind. Then she can laugh off kids who are following the lead of their own ignorant parents!

Have you thought about buying lots of books with red haired protagonists? I know Anne of Green Gables has red hair. Maybe if they start to listen to stories and read books of heroines with red hair they’ll start to see it differently.
All the most fantastic hero’s and heroines are marginalised or rejected - just look at Harry Potter!
Maybe a place to start...

A lot of red haired children get it - casual abuse from other school children and its seems fair game for a lot of lazy mainstream and unfunny people. Its a characteristic you can't change so in my view akin to racism. And the main reason people do it? Because they are very much a minority and its a very rare characteristic so thought of as strange or different.

When my DD was in primary school she was actually very golden blond but as she grew up it turned deeper darker copper. It has always been very curly and is now waist length and very striking. As a little girl she just wanted to be blond. If she got compliments she just said that was from Mums and old people so didn't count. Other children definitely didn't rate it.

I come from a very ginger family and we've heard it all - my DD was regularly told 'gingers have no soul', and more recently a 'ginger bitch'. Her best friend at secondary school was also ginger and they called themselves ginger ninjas and gave anyone stupid enough to be rude to them very short shrift. She didn't really like being ginger till she was in her mid teens. Now she likes the fact she stands out from the crowd, she also has blue eyes which is an even rarer combination.

She has her own art student vibe and is very cool and funky. And she says if anyone says anything derogatory to her about it now its a quick way to know who not to bother with. Though sometimes people just say something about it as a way to catch her attention or chat her up. She has had no shortage of boyfriends etc. Maybe it toughened her up, I'm not sure. There's no need for it.

I have red hair and was bullied relentlessly for it as a child but now and since the age of 18 I wouldn't change it for anything! The only comments I receive are positive ones and it's been that way for years.

Children like to pick on people who are different but in the long run I honestly believe red hair is the best (maybe I'm slightly biased!). It's so brilliantly different and I think red heads are quirky and fun. Maybe show her redhead celebrities and film characters etc. and try and get them into the mindset of being confident with their unique and fun red hair. They are different in the best way!

I also have red hair and the bullying was horrendous when I was younger. It did very much affect my confidence long term so shouldn't be brushed over. It wasn't helped by the fact that until very recently it was seen as acceptable to mock in mainstream media as well. This seems to be changing thankfully. I love my hair now and am very much enjoying the fact that people my age are all turning grey and I'm not I agree that highlighting celebrity role models is a good place to start!

I'd get them to re(watch) 'Brave', Merida is a kick ass red haired princess! I'd also big up that red hair is special so that's why it's not as common as blonde/brown. My Dd is flame haired and wrecked her locks via colouring when younger but totally embraces it now.

A lot of my cousins and my dad have red hair. One of my cousins lived in Saudi Arabia for a number of years as a child and people used to come up and touch her red hair for luck as they considered it a lucky omen!

A lot of the time for girls the bullying comes down to jealousy and a desire to belittle someone who has something better or more special than you.

I got quite a lot of stick as a kid. It didn’t bother me that much: there were always loads of people saying how much they liked my hair. As a teen and young woman I has real Merida hair and it brought me loads of positive attention. Who would want mousy hair?

This story has really shocked me, because the flippant use of "ginger" as an insult is awful. I say this as a person of Asian descent - it gives me the same awful and angry feeling as when I hear of a child being racially abused. I would absolute escalate this with the school if others are name-calling, because this is having a terrible impact on your child's self esteem and well-being.

I agree with previous posters that it's a combination of red heads being (unfairly) vilified in popular culture and just not wanting to be "different". It may be exhausting but you must keep repeating praise and admiration for your DC's beautiful features.

Red hair is utterly beautiful OP (I still live in hope of marrying the gorgeous red-head Domhnall Gleeson one day!).

We read a story at schools out a bully.

He was mean to the fat kid, stole money from the rich kid and called the redhead names

We then asked the question. If an angel appeared how would she help Fat/Ruch/Redhead.

They all decided diet/share/dye etc

They were then asked how about the bully.

Sometimes you just need to change the angle.

I love Anne of Green Gables, but be warned that her red hair is not celebrated by most of the characters... Anne herself is very sad to have red hair, unfortunately, until she grows up a bit.

I’m so sorry for your daughter feeling bad about herself. I agree, watch Brave, “oh look, she has your beautiful hair.” Children are mean about random stuff I think, you just have to build her up. Which is hard and it’s shit you have to. Think how many women dye their hair red because it’s such an amazing colour!

There's a kick a ginger day at school?!

This is something i sooooooooo understand being natural ginger myself and my 13year old son is exactly same ginger as me and my 9year old daughter has so many different ginger tones its like looking at someone with highlighyts or tips its so unusual but i think now these days its different to when i was young i hated my ginger hair now i adore it people pay money to be ginger cos we are unique and maybe thats why we alwaya got called all those ginger names my son says nam ive heard it so many times "oi ginger" its so boring ive heard it that much nd thats exactly it ppl call us ginger nut ect but you hear it so much throughout life its biring your daughters will to get bored of that same old same old its never goes away ginger nut this nd that i as a ginger person now think ok NEXT PLEASE your daughters are unique and ginger is somethining i believe to be positive and proud about we are rare and others just r jealous cos we are that fab😎

It's more unusual than brown or blonde so people pick on things that are different just like glasses etc. Tell your girls to be who they are. Lovely with red hair

I think tv and film has a lot to answer for with how they portray red hair.
Ok, there are strong and cool characters like Merida.

But take Megamind, the antagonist has red hair.

Take Finding Nemo. Darla (or whatever her name is) has red hair.

Doctor Who at the time of Matt Smith said “please don’t say I’m ginger”.

It’s very disappointing and needs to stop.

Your poor daughters. I agree with a PP that it's racism no question, red hair is their ethnicity, their genetic makeup, therefore they are being racially discriminated against.

You just have to continue to help them shore up their self-esteem all through their childhood and teenage years, and show/tell them it's beautiful, it's cool, it's alternative. I know it's hard at that age, they all want to be be the same - precisely one of the reasons they are being bullied in the first place. Red hair is so cool!