Red hair child

[bibbidibobbididoo12]

I have 2 red head girls age 7 and 9.
Both have started to questions about their hair.
Today one of my children asked is having red hair a bad thing.
Obviously I asked her why?
She explained in a book she was reading when they described a character they used all negative words such as 'fat, ugly and had red hair'.

I am constantly telling them how beautiful their hair is and other people regularly tell them.
But both girls have started saying people are just it to make me feel better about our hair colour.
It's a catch 22 situation.
The oldest girl has been bullied and called ginger idiot and you can't play with us because you have ginger hair.

The whole thing just makes me really sad.

I don't know what to say to them?
Do I say in the past people used to think ginger hair/red hair was not as nice etc or not even tell them that? Then they ask Why did they say that?

It's a very UK based prejudice. I know that doesn't help you particularly right now OP but it's worth noting that it's not a universal worldwide way of thinking. Worth drawing your dds' attention to also.

I travelled a lot when my youngest was a toddler with bright red hair, it's darkened a bit since but the Americans especially and Southern Europeans positively flocked to him, saying how beautiful it was, comparing it in various languages to 'fire' and 'gold', all positive connotations.

It really is just a weird UK thing.

Could be Viking -related or sth to do with the Tudors or who knows? The people who use it as prejudice do seem to have lack of intelligence in common, like most prejudiced people really.

In some areas it's anti-Catholic in origin. The colour is more dominate in Catholic areas. It might not be why an individual expresses it but it's certainly linked to anti-Irish sentiment.

I agree Grammar, that's an element (am of Irish ancestry myself) but it doesn't really make sense as so many kings and queens since the Norman invasion were red-headed also. The quintessential English kings.

I reminisce back to biology class about chromosomes. I think it was what gave eyes and hair colour. Red heads and blue eyed people were apparently weaker.
Anybody ever heard of this and think it might be partly responsible for the prejudice?

I've red hair, I love it, I always have, i also have a brother who was born with a big birth mark on his face so from being young I understood you can't change what you are born with and doesn't matter. Anyway I was always confident in my hair colour, onenote my best friends was also red, a lighter red then mine and she was insecure about hers, bullied loads and had a hard time of it. Every now and again someone would try and throw a stupid comment at me but I'd just roll my eyes or give them a sideways "what an idiot" look. Red hair is the most beautiful, most young girls who bully anyone are jealous, instill confidence in your daughters

Genetics maybe or DNA I mean.
It was a mighty long time ago

I heard they had a lower pain threshold Monty27, can't remember where I read that.

So much that they require more anaesthetic (!)

And they make their own vitamin d.

@TinklyLittleLaugh
Who would want mousy hair?

This makes me quite sad. I have mousy hair and yes, it's boring, uncommented on and I've never been picked on for it, but in reality, isn't saying this is as bad as picking on someone for their red hair?

Monty27 I think you misunderstood. Ginger hair is a recessive gene so it needs 2, one from each parent. If one parent give a brown gene and one a ginger they will always be brown. Hence why it's less common. It's absolutely nothing to do with any physical weakness

www.zmescience.com/science/redheads-feel-more-pain-20092017/

Fascinating.

@Oblomov20 my niece is the same . Her mum told her she was ginger from the off and used the word around her . So when people call her ginger now she shrugs and says and. She doesn't see it as a negative.

Bloody hell, GnomeDePlume

This is gobsmacking.

I remember when my DD came home when she was 6 or 7 and announced she wished she was her friend Meghan. When I asked why, she said that she wanted her hair. She had gorgeous red hair. They were three red hair girl in her year and all three were amongst the most popular girls amongst girls and boys. That was more than 15 years ago.

Continued - stupid phone!

I firstly asked my mother and grandmother for support, as I was being made upset on a regular basis. They said "they're jealous" which is an appallingly dismissive lie to tell a child in misery. I have never forgotten it, don't forgive them, and never approached either of them for any future emotional support.

OP - please take your child's concerns seriously, now and in the future. The simple truth is that as a redhead you're both rare and instantly noticeable, and therefore people who are unhappy with themselves have found a target. Being that target is horrible, but it's not because of anything the child has done, and the bully is not jealous. Good luck with it all.

My eldest has ginger hair. She was never bullied, actually the opposite. When her friends were about 13, a few of them tried to dye their hair ginger to look like my daughter!

As a ginger and mother of a ginger I demand to know when Kick A Ginger day is! If anyone tries that with DS1 they will be sorry, he kicks like a mule

Anti-ginger prejudice is weird. You think people are normal and then they say things like "Well, it's only a ginger" when they see a hard-hitting 'Kill your speed' advert (one had a red-headed boy as a victim). And then when you express surprise it turns out they were completely serious

Because of the violence of the Vikings who were predominantly Red-headed.....

More likely it's antisemitic, outside Scotland and Ireland (and their descendents) red hair is most commonly found in Jewish people.

OP

Do your dds know there is a festival in the Netherlands just for redheads?

Do you think you could be related to the Weaslys of Harry Potter fame?

Show her Katie Morag (episodes on iplayer)
The main character has red hair but it isnt portrayed negatively in the slightest.

Hook her up with some Harry Potter.
Time to tell her she's a Weasley!

Honestly kids are little shits and it's not until they get told that this is similar to being racist or discriminating against someone with a disability that they realise the gravity of their behaviour.

I definitely feel that we, as a society, are moving forward and becoming more aware of the weight of our words and some aspects just need to keep up.

I agree with every PP about exposing them to red headed people and characters. Like I said, Weasleys, Natasha Romanoff (Avengers), Jessica Rabbit, Merida... Characters that were red headed and awesome.

It starts in primary school, worsens to the kind of sexual slurs I've described above in secondary school, and then drops off in adulthood.

The sexual aspect is horrendous. I had random adult men shouting at me in the street, asking to see / about the colour of my public hair from about the age of 12. And you’re not allowed to say anything, because “it’s just a joke”. Fuckers.

Red hair is the most beautiful hair. I always have the urge to tell people with red hair how gorgeous I find them but that would be weird so I don't.

I did not absorb the negative stereotypes growing up and only when I befriended a beautiful red-haired girl did I learn about all the ignorant abuse red-haired women can endure.

Then I flashed back to my very strict and scary Scottish biology teacher who linked her own temper to her red hair. Silly woman internalised the nonsense and perpetuated the BS herself. I do wonder if she would have been nicer if she felt she did not have to live up to the stereotype.

I hope your girls can learn to ignore or laugh at the stupid lies about red hair and appreciate how beautiful they are.

Sodding autocorrect. Pubic, not public!