Red hair child

[bibbidibobbididoo12]

I have 2 red head girls age 7 and 9.
Both have started to questions about their hair.
Today one of my children asked is having red hair a bad thing.
Obviously I asked her why?
She explained in a book she was reading when they described a character they used all negative words such as 'fat, ugly and had red hair'.

I am constantly telling them how beautiful their hair is and other people regularly tell them.
But both girls have started saying people are just it to make me feel better about our hair colour.
It's a catch 22 situation.
The oldest girl has been bullied and called ginger idiot and you can't play with us because you have ginger hair.

The whole thing just makes me really sad.

I don't know what to say to them?
Do I say in the past people used to think ginger hair/red hair was not as nice etc or not even tell them that? Then they ask Why did they say that?

@halfbakedkate

It's awful that children have to put up with such nastiness. It's hard for a parent to watch them go through that too. I'm sure she will see it one day. X

Another bloody conundrum - ginger is a really tasty and helpful root, that we've depended on as humans. Certainly helped me with morning sickness.

Can anyone enlighten me?

More likely it's antisemitic, outside Scotland and Ireland (and their descendents) red hair is most commonly found in Jewish people.

Actually it's probably more directly anti-Irish sentiment. No blacks, No Irish is a much more recent thing in the UK than ill-feeling against the Vikings in the 9th century. Red hair is seen as very Celtic - Welsh, Irish, Scottish. And therefore inferior/different.

It makes me sad all these people getting a hard time because of their hair. It hasn't been an issue for my child as it's not so unusual in his class. No more unusual than using an inhaler, wearing glasses, having a food allergy. And kids aren't bullied for those things.

Interesting to hear so many people protesting that they find red hair beautiful. The kids who cause red-haired children such torment are picking this attitude up from somewhere, they’re not getting it spontaneously from the air.

I have Irish and Jewish family. And glorious redheads on both sides.

I used to get teased relentlessly for being ginger and I am not a true red head I was more strawberry blonde.

My gran loved my red hair and would get upset if I used hair mascara to colour it. She said I was a rare breed and her red headed princess. With a very large family there were only 2 of us with red hair.

The one fact I held onto was that it takes longer if at all for red heads to go grey. I am now mid 30s and only just got my first grey hair and I dont need to cover it cause it blends in. All those that teased me have been dying their hair for alot longer!

If they do dye their hair chances are it will ruin the colour.

One of the reason my husband picked me when online dating was cause of my hair.

It makes us individual and to be honest the teasing just made me stronger and able to stand up to bullies. I was never one of the popular girls but to be honest I am glad of that now. I like being my own person and not conforming to society.

Kids can be cruel but should also embrace individuality although that can be very hard

Sounds fabulous Bellinisurge.

I can't add much to what others have said OP - my username is what I was known as by a lot of people outside my family when I was a child. I was very tall and stood out among other children anyway, without my crowning glory! I was never able to stand up to any name calling, and would just distance myself. Now in my 60's I don't look at my past and think "I wish I'd never had red hair and/or was shorter" (I grew to love both my height and my hair). I think "I wish I'd been more confident". Build your girls' confidence in themselves.

Someone upthread mentioned it, but check out the Red Head Day in Breda in The Netherlands - a great celebration of red hair!!

I got that bullshit at school - it was just another excuse but I thought it was jealousy because my hair has a colour. I'm still an unabashed ginger and if I bleach parts of it and dye it green, blue and purple I have rainbow hair - my default for the past 3 years.

But so many people are sheeple - you only have to see some other threads on AIBU to see that. The only time I got a negative comment more an insinuation, was someone asking me if I got any shit for beng ginger at University - he looked almost disappointed when I said no. Not even my reassurance that he didn't have to worship my magnificent lion's mane seemed to help.

It's such a bizarre UK prejudice because every other country I have lived in (USA, Germany and Italy) sees red hair as beautiful and a precious gift to appreciate and enjoy.

I'm more auburn-ish than a proper red-head (and I wish I were a proper red-head because it's gorgeous) but I did get many a 'ginger nut' comment at primary school nonetheless. Not since then. Now hairdressers often compliment my natural shade. My mum used to take me into the hair dye aisle in Boots and show me how 50% of the colours there are some kind of red. She's say [I paraphrase] that if red hair was a bad thing, how come such there is such demand for red hair dye?

Plenty of countries have a National Redhead day. Check it out online. I think the U.K. has one too.
Pippa Longstocking has got to be one of the best redhead children’s characters.

I think people who haven't experienced it think we are talking about just simply being called 'ginger' but that's not it at all. Maybe my case was extreme but it was more constant comments that made me feel inferior. I've had 'I'd rather my child was disabled than ginger.' And other such delightful comments. You absolutely do need to take bullies to task about this and make sure it's not viewed as harmful teasing. I grew up thinking that every other girl was prettier than me simply because of my hair colour which then resulted in me settling in relationships. I am now happily married and realised very quickly in adult life that a lot of men are very attracted to red hair! There's also some research to suggest that redheads are more successful as they are 'memorable' and therefore stand out in job interviews etc.

Our DD has the most gorgeous fiery red hair. And from day 1 we’ve always called her ginger or ginge as a term of endearment. I’ve called her it in front of people and they often commented on how mean I am to call her that, but she sees doesn’t see it like that at all.

She’s 8 now and she’s had people call her ginger or ginge at school and she’s just shrugs and tells them she loves her hair so they can say what they like, they’ll be paying for hair like hers in a few years.

She’s often watched strong ginger characters like Ariel and Merida and Anna from frozen things that I’ve done without her even noticing. But now she is massively into Harry Potter and her favourite character is Ginny Weasley whether that’s a conscience decision on her part I don’t know.

I hope your daughter feels better about it soon and I’d definitely raise it with the school because it’s bullying, and there’s nothing she can do about her hair colour much like your skin colour and if someone was bullying your daughter for her skin colour you wouldn’t think twice about speaking to her teacher or head.

Tell her they're jealous because red hair is so beautiful! Look at how many of the Pre-Raphaelites were inspired by Lizzie Siddall.

Even EE's Tiffany looks fab with her red mane.

I always wanted red hair, but was only ever auburn. I resorted to henna as soon as I left school, and was a redhead until it got to the point where henna couldn't really deal with the grey (chemical red dyes were nowhere near as good as they are now, and always looked really fake).

As a redhead who was teased at school, it is interesting to me how many red haired kids and adults are now used in fashion/ad shoots. It's because they stand out and are different from the crowd.
Tell your daughters to look out for redheads looking fabulous in magazine and TV ads. Tell them that redheads were always regarded as special and other worldly, like unicorns. Boudica is often portrayed with flaming red hair.
Tell them to listen to 'Jolene' by Dolly Parton, 'your beauty is beyond compare, with flaming locks of auburn hair...I could not compete with you, Jolene.'
Some ancient people used to think RHs had magic power so were scared/jealous.

I'm a red head although I'm 65 and have a little 'help' these days to maintain it I don't ever want to not be a red head. I think the ginger bullying must be quite a new thing as I don't remember it happening when I was a child although I do remember getting fed up with people admiring it. I certainly have never had any negative comments as a teenager or adult.

As well as the Pre-Raphaelite paintings as suggested, look at the Renaissance paintings. Many of the women depicted are red heads, the painter's name 'Titian' is even used to describe red hair.

Why don't you show your daughters some of the Pre-Raphaelite paintings featuring beautiful redheads?

OP I'm a red head and I was bullied so bad as a child. One boy in my class actually cut my pony tail off one day while I was sat working. As I got older though things changed and everyone says how lovely my hair is and "is it my natural colour". I'm almost 40 and have NEVER once died or coloured it. And have no grey either. I was at the hair dressers once and a lady asked the hair dresser if she could colour her hair the same as mine and the hair dresser said unfortunately no we can't mix ginger colours so natural. I felt a bit special that day.
I love being a red head because I do stand out as an adult, however I'm expecting my first child and I secretly am hoping he isn't a red head, only because I know what I went through as a child. Your daughters are unique and that makes them very special indeed. Only 5% of the human population are red heads, I think that's pretty special.

Red hair itself comes in many different shades.
A mother with her child (about 3 or 4) sat next to me on the train (some years ago - pre lockdown).
I found myself totally mesmerised by the childs beautiful red hair. It was totally stunning.
Red hair runs in our family and pops up occassionally.
I assume other people are jealous.

I can sympathise OP even though my DD15 doesn't have red hair, she has pure platinum blonde hair. She has been vilified over the years from girls at school, being called albino, dumb blonde, Essex girl (not from Essex) she will never get a decent tan... Even as a baby I was asked if I dye my babies hair that blonde DD has always wanted to dye her hair brown so she looks like everyone else. We have already told her that she is unique and shouldn't want to change herself to please others and it's all based on jealousy but her self confidence was rock bottom.

In the last year or so the girls at school are slowly dying their hair her colour and she feels less . and as he hair is so blonde, she has been blamed for various scuffles at school because she was nearby and is very visible in a crowd. We've always reassured her that her hair is beautiful and people pay a lot of money to get her natural hair colour and the name calling and nastiness is just jealousy. DD is now 16 and slowly started to die their hair her DD15 has had girls at school make nasty comments about her hair for most of her school life. She's not a red head but has pure platinum blonde hair. She has always asked if she can dye it brown like everyone else and we've reassured her over the years that one day her friends will start to dye their dark hair her colour. Low and behold it has happened. bullied because of her hair
on and

I’m really shocked that this is still a thing. Red hair is beautiful! And even if it wasn’t I’m upset that people seem to still think it’s ok to insult someone because of the way they look. (See also fatphobia which also appears to be hanging around).

Total posting too early fail.

I can sympathise OP even though my DD15 doesn't have red hair, she has pure platinum blonde hair. She has been vilified over the years from girls at school, being called albino, dumb blonde, Essex girl (not from Essex) she will never get a decent tan... Even as a baby I was asked if I dye my babies hair that blonde

DD has always wanted to dye her hair brown so she looks like everyone else. We have already told her that she is unique and shouldn't want to change herself to please others and it's all based on jealousy but her self confidence was rock bottom.

In the last year or so the girls at school are slowly dying their hair her colour and she feels less vilified and appreciates her natural hair colour.

My brother has red hair and used to get nasty comments about it in school. I remember us going to see Harry Potter and my brother thinking it was really cool seeing wizards with hair like his, after that he had more confidence about it. I’d say keep it up with showing them examples, like you said earlier with Merida and Ariel, and also make sure they know their concerns are valid and listened to.