Red hair child

[bibbidibobbididoo12]

I have 2 red head girls age 7 and 9.
Both have started to questions about their hair.
Today one of my children asked is having red hair a bad thing.
Obviously I asked her why?
She explained in a book she was reading when they described a character they used all negative words such as 'fat, ugly and had red hair'.

I am constantly telling them how beautiful their hair is and other people regularly tell them.
But both girls have started saying people are just it to make me feel better about our hair colour.
It's a catch 22 situation.
The oldest girl has been bullied and called ginger idiot and you can't play with us because you have ginger hair.

The whole thing just makes me really sad.

I don't know what to say to them?
Do I say in the past people used to think ginger hair/red hair was not as nice etc or not even tell them that? Then they ask Why did they say that?

I’ve had abuse shouted at me in the streets by adults when I was both a child and an adult.

People openly take the piss, including my family.

Men think it’s a compliment to tell you that you’re attractive...for a ginger. Or that they have a ginger fetish

Jokes on them really as I love my hair and think it’s one of my best features.

I can't believe this is still a thing, I thought times had moved on and seemed like it was fading into the past when I was at primary school. I've always wanted red hair, I think its utterly beautiful.

I'd find as many books and real life examples of red headed heroines as possible and tell your beautiful girls that people who want to be nasty will pick on any attribute as long as it's different from them. Whether it's skinny, not skinny, glasses, freckles, tall, short, kind, funny...

When they get older they will realise how lucky they are to have such beautiful colouring

Zombie thread

Red hair is gorgeous. I'm sorry people are still so negative.
Can you explain in simple terms that some people are unkind and they are horrible to people for the colour of their skin or hair?

Yikes didn't realise it was a zombie thread

I'm brunette, but I think red hair is utterly, brilliantly, and completely, beautiful!

@Doyouavocado

Is it really viewed negatively in the UK? I’m from the UK and I have to admit the only time I have heard anything negative about ginger hair was in primary school but that was over 20 years ago, I thought times had changed as people are always trying to go red now. I am obsessed with ginger hair and always so envious when I see natural red heads! Then kids are obviously just dick heads

Certainly not true in Scotland, where red hair is more common and a source of pride.

Oh this is so sad OP.
I dont really know what to say as I dont have experience.
But I will say, even as a child i loved red hair! I always longed to be different as I am quite ordinary! And my cousin has this long, bright ginger hair and freckles and everyone commented on it. I used to feel so jealous of it with my plain brown bowl cut!
So not all children will be mean x

@Lolliloo1234 - yes to Anne although she hates having red hair and disastrously tries to dye it black. Also Gilbert calls her ginger and she hits him
On the head with a slate! OP I have a red headed boy who is also small for his age and has had flack over the years. I taught him to say he was Titian .

This makes me feel sick. I have red hair and my two young daughters have too and it feels painful to think they may well be bullied because of their beautiful hair. I was not bullied too much, but have had my fair share of shitty comments, often from "friends". Even some derogatory comments yelled at me from moving cars or from strangers in the street as a teenager. Why don't people take this more seriously? Why is it just accepted a lot of the time? I've had several people say my hair is fine because it is a, "nice ginger". Wtf? It shouldn't matter at all what colour my hair is.

@Bouledeneige agree completely with what you said about it being akin to racism. I often say the feeling a person gets inside when they are bullied about skin colour will be no different when being bullied about hair colour. That feeling sick feeling, being embarrassed, feeling different and unattractive. As it goes, I have had no problem with attracting men, as when it comes down to it not many people have true issues with it.

But it makes me so sad that society hasn't moved on from this fast enough. TV needs to stop joking about it or being negative about it. Some kids today must still be learning that they should pick on 'gingers' from somewhere. TV and at home in some cases!

Yes. It is discrimination, and they are protected under the equality act 2010
"race including colour, nationality, ethnic or national origin" Genetics is classed as ethnicity

@HibernatingTill2030

Red hair is gorgeous. I'm sorry people are still so negative. Can you explain in simple terms that some people are unkind and they are horrible to people for the colour of their skin or hair?

Well, that depends. Red hair is usually the result of recessive genes. So if both genes are for red, only then can one have red hair. However, if one gene is for black and one for red, then black hair will result because black is a dominant gene.

As I've got older I have never understood the pick on the ginger thing?!

Yes I had a few jokes made, I don't really ever remember getting upset about it, I was more bothered with how frizzy it was over the colour. Now I'm quite proud of my colour, alway get compliments on it etc.

I think you just have to reinforce that hair colour doesn't matter and anyone who thinks it does is just silly.

Ginger (not red/strawberry blonde) and proud.

Celebrate their red hair. Both my DCs are beautiful red heads. DD was very into Harry Potter and loved the Weasleys, there’s also Ed Sheran. We have a positive attitude to being red heads, even the term ginger’ isn’t viewed negatively. DCs had a gang at primary school called the ‘Ginger Ninjas’, as they were the only red heads at their school DD explained ‘non gingers can join - but they have to pay’. DS 13 has grown his gorgeous hair long over lockdown & refuses to shave his red beard.

Check out redhead days held all over the world a glorious meeting of all shades from strawberry blonde to deepest burgundy

@binkyboinky

Your poor daughters. I agree with a PP that it's racism no question, red hair is their ethnicity, their genetic makeup, therefore they are being racially discriminated against.

You just have to continue to help them shore up their self-esteem all through their childhood and teenage years, and show/tell them it's beautiful, it's cool, it's alternative. I know it's hard at that age, they all want to be be the same - precisely one of the reasons they are being bullied in the first place. Red hair is so cool!

It's not racism; red hair is found in all races to varying degrees, and caused by various genes.

It is bigotry, but redheads are not a legally protected group per se, though you could try to argue it was e.g. anti-Irish/Scottish (I haven't read the full thread to see if this is a factor here, but this sentiment isn't always involved in "gingerism").