Please help me resolve a barney I'm having with DH over pocket money!

[pjsgalore]

Sooo, we've just started giving my two DC (6 and 9) pocket money using the GoHenry app and cards. They're getting the weekly average for kids in their age group. Apparently £5.80 for the 9yo and £4.30 for the 6yo.

But my DH and I are having a disagreement about WHAT they spend it on. I think they should be allowed to spend it on whatever they like - to include Robux (the Roblux currency - an online game for those who dont' know) and V-Bucks - Fortnite currency - again gaming currency.

DH says it's huge profiteering from the gaming companies (which I don't disagree with) and that it's a gambling loop...I personally think as we're trying to teach them how to use money that they should spend their weekly amount on whatever they like. they'll soon realise they have none left for stuff they want in RL if they've spent it all online.

Do you control what your kids spend their pocket money on at all?

I also think at the moment they can't spend at shops - so online is really all they can spend it on.

Please give me your thoughts!!

I broadly agree with you.

I agree with you

I agree with you and we do let ours buy them but we also do say no if they have brought loads recently.

How strict would you be about not giving in to buying them the treats they'd otherwise be spending their pocket money on?

I agree. DD spends gets on what she wants as long as it’s legal and safe of course. She has experienced buyers remorse more than once. Hopefully she’s learning from it.

*spends hers on

I agree too, they'll soon understand about value for money and budgets.
The first day I got pocket money, my dad taught me how to play poker....... it took 4 weeks and many tantrums before I understood that you can NEVER really win gambling ! I've never done it since.
It's the tough lessons that stick with you IMO.

You say "we have" and "my children" - is your DH their biological father?

It may make a difference in how you have a sit down conversation about them being given the opportunity to learn a good life skill and that you will both stand strong against any possible arm twisting when one of them spends up and still has wants / needs!

We have family rules against casual in-app spending because it is such a racket. It isn’t a complete ban, but it is only done occasionally. (An example, I have bought dd poke balls at the beginning of a family Poke hunting trip because she doesn’t accrue them as easily as the rest of the family because she doesn’t always have her phone with her)

Most of the time, patience will earn enough in-game cash to get what is desired. I think That is a better lesson.

I agree with you OP.

My DD has x money and can spend it however she wants. She does occasionally spend it on robux.

I agree with your dh. It’s a total waste of money.

I have always encouraged my dc to save, and be more discerning about what to spend their birthday/ Christmas money on. As adults they won’t remember any of the toot they would have bought. Instead they have good spending habits and enough savings to have many options for when it’s important.
I know that’s not a popular view on mn, but it was how my dh and I were both brought up. I think it has stood us in good stead, own house, no debt.

They should be able to spend it on what they want and have fun, it’s too controlling to dictate to them.

I agree they should spend it on what they want.

But ... that sounds like an awful lot of money to be giving children of those ages. Do you not buy them any treats at all yourself?

You should research in -app purchases and the relationship with gambling.
I think that pocket money is stupid & your children are far too young for both pocket money & to be buying crap like v bucks.!

My oldest son made a very dear friend through roblox who has got him through some tough times since. It’s not all bad.

@Chickpeees How old is your son?

I think it's good to teach them how to use their own money e.g. saving some, spending some online, some on real things. I would suggest that they each put £1/week into a piggy bank - to save up for something bigger, but also maybe to use to buy Christmas presents for family or whatever. And that some of the rest could be used e.g. for sweets or a magazine, which you will buy for them with the rest of the household shopping at the moment, but they can choose. And then the rest they can use online if they want.

But definitely talk to them about it. Help them to learn how to spend it well, don't just hand it over and say 'do what you want'.

Part of the idea of pocket money is to teach the value of money and spending wisely.
I am completely against in-app spending as I agree with your husband, it is gambling for people that are too young to gamble.
The money should go towards actual things that they may like to buy. That way you get the physical saving of money and then the 'reward' from that.
Do your children complete tasks to receive pocket moneyor are they just given it?

I buy in-app purchases for my game every once in a while. Generally when they offer special decoration items, so Christmas/Chinese New Year/Valentine’s Day/Easter/Halloween/etc, so I get something extra that I want at the same time I am buying diamonds. I very much enjoy using the diamonds until they’re all gone and then I do without them until the next time there is a special offer. I don’t see that as a waste of money at all - I really enjoy playing the game, it’s a nice, gentle home-based hobby, and it’s the only game I play as opposed to something like PlayStation where most people buy games at regular intervals. I can afford £5 to £20 every few months, and I don’t buy all the time, nor do I buy everything on offer. IMO It’s always better to teach children how to be sensible with things rather than forbidding it altogether.

I agree with you but it is quite a lot of money to have each week if they choose to spend it all on game currency etc. (For comparison my dc 6 & 7 get £2 each a week & struggle to spend that now the novelty has worn off!)

We use gohenry and one of the great things is the way you can set amounts of the weekly pocket money to go towards longer term savings goals & then that money is a little harder to access. Would a compromise be putting half in to the savings to instil good habits in that direction and then still leaving them with plenty to ‘impulse’ spend.

I am a big fan of go Henry & the like - we’ve been using it for a year and it has given the children a really impressive understanding of budgeting, value of money, delayed gratification etc etc.

I agree that they should be free to spend it however they like but it's quite a lot for such young kids, £10 a month is plenty

Blimey, is that the average? My two are pretty hard done to then! I might have to re-think what they’re getting.

I don’t like in-app spending. I know some of it is probably harmless, but I think loot boxes and that whole not knowing what you’re going to get can be an early road into gambling. If you start with that sort of behaviour young it will probably escalate as you get older.

In real-life, I agree with letting them buy what they like, but I’d be more careful on-line and I’d make sure I supervised their purchases.

I’m obviously stingy £2/ week for a 9 year old. She can buy what she likes. Often magazines at £5 a go and then usually regrets it. I don’t let her spend it all on sweets is the only rule as she’d buy those awful brain-licker tooth rotters

It’s not necessarily gambling, and it’s not helpful to characterise it that way. It’s a considered purchase that I make, and children can learn to make those too. Some months I might say to myself, do you actually want that bag of diamonds more than you want that lipstick you were looking at, or whatever, and if the answer is yes, I buy it. If the answer is no, I’d actually rather put it towards a pair of shoes, then that’s just as easy a decision to make.