Please help me resolve a barney I'm having with DH over pocket money!

[pjsgalore]

Sooo, we've just started giving my two DC (6 and 9) pocket money using the GoHenry app and cards. They're getting the weekly average for kids in their age group. Apparently £5.80 for the 9yo and £4.30 for the 6yo.

But my DH and I are having a disagreement about WHAT they spend it on. I think they should be allowed to spend it on whatever they like - to include Robux (the Roblux currency - an online game for those who dont' know) and V-Bucks - Fortnite currency - again gaming currency.

DH says it's huge profiteering from the gaming companies (which I don't disagree with) and that it's a gambling loop...I personally think as we're trying to teach them how to use money that they should spend their weekly amount on whatever they like. they'll soon realise they have none left for stuff they want in RL if they've spent it all online.

Do you control what your kids spend their pocket money on at all?

I also think at the moment they can't spend at shops - so online is really all they can spend it on.

Please give me your thoughts!!

I think that once you give pocket money it is theirs to spend on what they like (provided it is legal and not causing anyone else in the house any problems!). That is the whole point of it. But I also think you are giving them too much! My 16yr old only gets £25 a month. He got MUCH less at that age.

I think you should give an amount that you are happy for them to spend as they wish. That may mean reducing it.

Wow. That's a lot of pocket money! My almost 14 year old gets £25 per month and my almost 10 year old gets £10 a month.

I wouldn't let them spend on fake money though but we'd have got to that decision via discussion, examples and agreement so that the DC buy (no pun intended!) into it.

We also pay mobile contracts for both kids in addition to they pocket money.

Why not incentivise them not to spend it on Robux? I.e. give them 50% of their pocket money at the beginning of the week, and if they haven't spent it on Robux by the end of the week they get the remaining 50%? That way they still have a choice, but ultimately there is a lesson to be learned as well.

If me I’d be more concerned at a 6 year old playing Roblox ! If you do allow them to play then I would limit how much they spend on it !

I control his spending a little. He isnt allowed to buy endless sweets for example and must ask before spending his money but within reason he is allowed what he wants. He enjoys spending money on v bucks/robux and the additions to his games he spends them on. He doesn't care for toys/physical belongings.

We always did a third to save, a third for charity donation (of their choice) and the final third to spend on whatever they wanted (with no control by DH and I).

Pocket money is hers to spend as she chooses and if it metaphorically pissed up a wall, that is her problem, she gets no more that month.
Having said that, she (14y) gets less than your oldest, so we are hardly taking mega bucks. At your eldest's age she got £2.50 a week.

The argument would be removed by reducing the amount of pocket money. Most people I know do 10p for year of age up to teen years, therefore the amounts are small and they can choose to spend it on whatever they like.

If they don’t have complete control over how it’s spent, they’ll never understand how to manage money. It’s not really pocket money unless they can decide how to spend it.

My 10 year old gets 50p to £1 a week depending on if she helps with laundry and washing up so I’m clearly mean!
She doesn’t play fortnite or roblux but I wouldn’t let her spend it on in game purchases - at their age I think it has to be tangible for the whole value of money lesson to sink in.

Mine saves some of her money and spends some. What's she is left to spend she does spend it on what she wants but I teach her to get the most for her money. I teach her to shop around before she buys something expensive and do her research. Yes, she makes mistakes and wastes her money on something that is not as good as she thought but that's part of learning.

Blimey, that sounds like a lot! My 8 year old DD gets a pound a week, and then only if she's done all her chores and kept up with her piano practice.

She's encouraged to save it in her piggy bank. When she does spend it's usually on crystals from the hippy stall at our local market. Back when such things existed, of course.

Let them spend it how they like. When this plague is over, they'll be wanting to go to shops with friends, etc, or the older one will. Right now computer games are very useful.

Interesting to read what the average pocket money is for children of their ages, I had no idea, it's been many years :-). I'd round the £5.80 up to £6 and the £4.30 to £4.50 (I'm not telling you what to do :-), just what I'd do, it seems neater and won't break the bank).

I agree with the principle of them choosing, but would be encouraging them to start saving etc.

That said, I wouldn't want a 9 and 6 year old playing Roblox or Fortnite, or being so into games like that that they think spending on it is ok. I would not want them growing up thinking in app purchases etc are the norm.

Mine are similar ages at 9 and nearly 8 and get a pound a week for sweets. 🤷‍♀️

If children receive pocket money for doing chores, that's not 'pocket money', surely? I always thought it was a gift from parents to children, grandparents often give too, doesn't have to be earned. I never 'earned' my pocket money.

If they do chores, apart from keeping their rooms tidy (some hope), such as a bit of gardening or, in different times, going to the shop for something mum or dad needs, I'd give them extra.

By chores, I mean she has to make her own bed, get dressed for school in under 10 minutes (she has a tendency to bimble) and do 15 minutes piano practice per week day. Nothing onerous. But I think it's a good starting point for the understanding that money has to be earned.

I found this on 'net, it seems the op is right but I expect she knows other people with children who get the same.

www.onaverage.co.uk/money-averages/average-pocket-money

I agree with your DH & I also think it's a lot of money for them to to be given a week.

I think we are boring parents. Dc get £5 each to their money box. We then transfer their money to their bank accounts. They can use some of their pocket money in holidays to buy some tat.

For Christmas, my DD's favourite gift was a hand-made voucher from me that said "800 Robux". She struggles with books, these are weird times... let you DC spend her money on Robux. If she regrets it, then there's a lesson there, but I think she has to learn by doing. The money would be gone anyway...

@alsohuman Yes - this.

I would let them buy a game occasionally but not the currency.

That’s so much money for their age!!! I’m shocked!

I think our DC are too young for pocket money and they’re older than yours!

I think your DH is right it’s a waste of their money, and there fore your money. But I also agree with you, if you give them pocket money it’s for them to spend as they wish.

Far too much money. I'd be giving them 5 per month!!

We had this problem and eventually compromised with our DS. He was allowed to spend 25% on fortnite and the rest on something else. He really enjoyed playing and eventually moved onto something else that didn't require purchases. He was happy with that which was good for us as well.