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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Please help me resolve a barney I'm having with DH over pocket money!

120 replies

pjsgalore · 20/04/2020 16:25

Sooo, we've just started giving my two DC (6 and 9) pocket money using the GoHenry app and cards. They're getting the weekly average for kids in their age group. Apparently £5.80 for the 9yo and £4.30 for the 6yo.

But my DH and I are having a disagreement about WHAT they spend it on. I think they should be allowed to spend it on whatever they like - to include Robux (the Roblux currency - an online game for those who dont' know) and V-Bucks - Fortnite currency - again gaming currency.

DH says it's huge profiteering from the gaming companies (which I don't disagree with) and that it's a gambling loop...I personally think as we're trying to teach them how to use money that they should spend their weekly amount on whatever they like. they'll soon realise they have none left for stuff they want in RL if they've spent it all online.

Do you control what your kids spend their pocket money on at all?

I also think at the moment they can't spend at shops - so online is really all they can spend it on.

Please give me your thoughts!!

OP posts:

nowaitaminute · 20/04/2020 20:07

I think they should have to save a portion of it and then they can spend the rest how they like!! Teaching them to save is paramount!!

PrinnyPree · 20/04/2020 20:22

Hi OP I'm familiar with the video games industry and I really do think alot of these in app purchases are basically exploitative and teaching gambling to kids, it's really dangerous, and quite frankly should be banned on games aimed at under 18s. (and quite frankly heavily regulated full stop)

It's all well and good saying that pocket money should be to teach children the value of money and sensible monetary choices but you have to give some guidance especially when buying products that mimic adult products and services like gambling (you wouldn't be happy if they were buying products mimicking cigarettes and pay per view porn)

(Also I can't believe thats how much money kids get as pocket money nowadays I wonder if the pocket money app is over inflating what the average should be)

HugeAckmansWife · 20/04/2020 20:34

I've just started giving my tweens £20 pm on the understanding that that's it. I don't buy magazines, sweets, random tat. DS asks to use it on v bucks but Ive only allowed it twice and only about £5. I found that when they only got a couple of quid a week it just went on sweets because everything else is too much. Magazines are £4-6 so they could barely buy one a month even if they bought nothing else. I prefer to give them the £20 and stop the endless 'can I have'.

pumpkintree · 20/04/2020 20:35

Could they not save part of the pocket money each week to save up to buy game money?

Umnoway · 20/04/2020 20:48

Agree with your DH tbh. I hate Robux and other crap within similar games, you’re spending real money on fake money which honestly just makes no sense to me.

Poetryinaction · 20/04/2020 20:52

6 is so young to have that amount of money. I don't think you are teaching them the value of money if they have loads and can spend it on luxuries and it never runs out.
My eldest is 6, so imagine when his younger siblings hit that age we will start pocket money. I intend to give them a lot less though, and absolutely limit what it can be spent on. I don't want it wasted.

MargotMoon · 20/04/2020 20:54

Agree with PP who said look said that in-app purchases are a form of gambling. There's lots of research about this atm relating to problem gambling

RiverCrossing · 20/04/2020 21:05

Potentially missing the point here, but is your 6 year old really playing Fortnite?

Dishwashersaurous · 20/04/2020 21:06

Fortnite is a 12 rated game, they shouldn’t be playing it anyway

OhamIreally · 21/04/2020 19:41

I give my DD £5 a week. She loves to accumulate stuff and so I gave her the power to do it herself. At first she couldn't wait to spend it (like her dad - it just burned a hole in her pocket). After a few occasions of buyers remorse she has a much more balanced attitude and often saves for several weeks for something she wants. It was very hard for me to step back and watch her at first and I did used to say "are you sure? That will be all your money gone?" Now I hear her ask herself the same question.
I don't let her buy in-app purchases which does go against the "life lesson" but when she wants to play a game I warn her from the outset that we will not be buying in app purchases.

Lynda07 · 22/04/2020 10:59

Glad to see 65% think you are not being unreasonable. Take heart from that! When the Coronovirus crisis is over you can give them cash which will solve the 'screen time' problem. I think what you give is a perfectly acceptable amount for their ages.

CMOTDibbler · 22/04/2020 11:11

Much as I hate ds spending money on games stuff, his money is his own, and he has to make decisions about what he spends it on. But he does have to buy things like christmas and birthday presents for us and his grandparents, buy any sweets/drinks he wants, and any stuff he wants outside of normal clothes/shoes buying. He seems to do this OK

user1493494961 · 22/04/2020 11:22

I agree with your DH.

Lynda07 · 22/04/2020 23:31

CMOTDibbler, you're absolutely right.

Devlesko · 22/04/2020 23:42

Why not ask the kids, they aren't too young to listen about having not much left.
I taught ours by shopping with cash, showing them how much things were and what was left. When they were old enough they did the sums for themselves.
They knew if you spent it all, there was nothing left for treats.

PinkDramaLlama · 23/04/2020 00:43

They should save some, donate something to charity, and spend a bit.

Blackandgreenteas · 23/04/2020 00:44

Please don’t tell my 6 yo that’s average!

DrReed · 23/04/2020 01:44

I don't really know about those games, but maybe as others have suggested say they can use a % on that, after they've put some into savings.

I'm quite surprised though at the number of people saying how little they give their teenagers. Do they never go out on their own with friends? My 15 year old gets £10 a week, and with that she pays for her own personal stuff. We pay for her phone and top up her Oyster card whenever she needs it, but she pays for her own make-up and accessories etc, posters and usual teenage tat, and also drinks and snacks when out and about. I remember when I was about that age my mum started giving me my family allowance as my pocket money, I've no clue what that was 30 odd years ago though.

Lynda07 · 23/04/2020 03:40

PinkDramaLlama Thu 23-Apr-20 00:43:12
They should save some, donate something to charity, and spend a bit.
.......
That's very Jewish. Give a little, save a little, spend a little.

It's a good idea to bring children up with that ethos, practicing it ourselves, however when pocket money is given it's really up to the children to manage and use it as they please. Some months/weeks will be better than others. As long as they have enough to buy Christmas and birthday presents for their nearest and dearest, I wouldn't worry too much when they're so young.

Looking back into the dark ages, nobody ever told me what to do with my pocket money but I saved a bit for presents and for summer holiday spending. My son was terrible! He had pocket money from us and from his grandparents; he was and is by nature quite generous but he was forever running out of cash and asking for a sub. Happy days. He's a big grown up now and quite a responsible person which is what matters.

dontdisturbmenow · 23/04/2020 08:12

I think it's too large an amount of pocket money for the age unlrss they are expected to also spend it on things most parents would buy for their kids that age.

Considering they mainly want to spend it online games, it would seem they get other needs/normal luxuries in addition. The other question is what they do to earn it.

The amount is disproportionate to what they would earn with their first job. Both my kids started to work at 16 and they loved the money they got from it to buy normal teenage things. Many of their friends saw it as waste of time because they already got most of what they wanted from their parents as well as almost equivalent amount if pocket money compared to what they'd earn working.

I think giving kids money automatically each month to just use on online games is teaching them that money comes easily to be spent on pointless yet addictive luxuries. A very damaging message in my view.

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