Please help me resolve a barney I'm having with DH over pocket money!

[pjsgalore]

Sooo, we've just started giving my two DC (6 and 9) pocket money using the GoHenry app and cards. They're getting the weekly average for kids in their age group. Apparently £5.80 for the 9yo and £4.30 for the 6yo.

But my DH and I are having a disagreement about WHAT they spend it on. I think they should be allowed to spend it on whatever they like - to include Robux (the Roblux currency - an online game for those who dont' know) and V-Bucks - Fortnite currency - again gaming currency.

DH says it's huge profiteering from the gaming companies (which I don't disagree with) and that it's a gambling loop...I personally think as we're trying to teach them how to use money that they should spend their weekly amount on whatever they like. they'll soon realise they have none left for stuff they want in RL if they've spent it all online.

Do you control what your kids spend their pocket money on at all?

I also think at the moment they can't spend at shops - so online is really all they can spend it on.

Please give me your thoughts!!

I think thats a lot, especially for the 6 year old. I never gave my dc pocket money until they were about 12. I think its a bit pointless until they are going shopping independently or going out with friends.

At work (secondary school, we had training on gambling and children - it seems that a high percentage of teenagers who have gambling problems started with in-app gambling of ‘loot’. Now I know this is correlation not necessarily causation, but it made me have a ‘no in-game purchases’ rule for my boys (9 and 12). They still seem to enjoy the games and haven’t been teased by their friends they play online with!

I’m firmly on the fence too. DS infrequently gets a couple of quids worth of Robux but it does gall me to hand over actual money for fake money. When he wants robux he earns them with a couple of chores. He doesn’t get pocket money as such.

However when I was 8 or so I was mad keen on The Sims computer game. I used to scrimp and save to buy the expansion packS (usually £20 or so if memory serves me) from my pocket money which I suppose is almost the same thing really.

I agree with you. My two (11 and 12) pretty much spend theirs on sweets. It annoys me but they need to learn and will. Regular picket money is still reasonably new to them.

To the posters who give their 10-14 year olds £1/2 a week do you pay for other things for them (assuming you elect to give them that rather than it being a matter of not being able to afford it which is obviously completely different )? £6 a month wouldn't cover a trip to the cinema with friends?
My 4 and 6 year olds have £3 a week and I don't think that's massively excessive?

I agree broadly but I think this is too much money for them to spend on something you disagree with. Can't you allow them to spend up to half of it on that? Sorry I haven't rtft if that's been discussed.

I feel a bit out of touch now. My 6yo gets £1.50 in cash and the 8yo gets £2.50. We do buy them treats though.

My 7yo gets £10 a week. I thought this was quite average tbh. It goes into his gohenry account and he can spend it as he pleases.

He recently bought a game worth £50. It's made him happy and he has played it loads so I don't think it's a waste of his money.

6 year olds aren't famous for financial wisdom or good judgement and allowing unlimited spending on anything isn't going to help your ds learn this.I'm with your dh. 6 is way to young to spend that much money on whatever they like

Seems a lot to me too! My 7yo gets a pound a week !
She can spend it on whatever she wants apart from sweets but as it's not a big amount it doesn't matter.

I don't give regular pocket money that young- my 5 year old gets as and when, but my 11 and almost 14 year old can spend their pocket money on anything they're legally allowed. I think it's a ridiculous waste to get two weeks money and chuck most of it away on v bucks for fortnite then spend the next two weeks penniless, but their choice.

Pocket money in my opinion should be spent on whatever the dc want to buy. I don’t agree with conditions on pocket money

If gaming makes the child happy and they enjoy it why shouldn’t they spend pocket money on it??

I’m on the fence but have gone with yabu. It’s a lot of money, where did they get that average from? A weird sample I bet. I also think while the 9 year old might learn about buyers remorse fairly quickly the 6 year old is potentially too young.

I also think you should be setting a saving expectation and that by not doing so you’re teaching them to pour money into something which does look a lot like a gateway to gambling and saying its acceptable to spend all your money on gaming is odd. Same as if it were sweets.

I think my daughter's idea for her kids was good. Save a third, give away a third, and spend a third. Every few months they would research charities and donate what had built up in their charity pot. Every few months they would buy something special, usually Lego, and week by week there was no restriction on what they spent the last third on. You could get your children to save a third, and let them spend the rest on whatever they like.

I don't agree with restrictions on pocket money generally but that's an awful lot of money they're getting. And 9 is too young for fortnite but that's a different issue. Maybe encourage them to save half for bigger purchases and / or give some to charity?

If it were less I’d have said yanbu but it would pain me to effectively give fortnight £280 of my money a year - and that’s only the 9 year old.

My kids get £5 it's not too much u don't get much for it these days. My 8 year old likes to save for xbox games and my 6 year old buys a magazine. The youngest is 2 and I save hers until we see something nice. If they wanted to buy robux I don't think I'd mind

My personal opinion as well is these games make money off the fact that children will spend all of their money. Thats their marketing strategy, theres constant advetising throughout the game to get them to buy more.

Its addictive and I personally disagree with games marketing additional content to children in such a way and therefore wouldnt want to give them all that money.

Its not the same as an expansion pack, thats a one off purchase and you get a fair amount for your money. In game purchases are constantly there, and limitless really. A constant temptation to children. Again if you wen to the shop thats a one off thing, they go they see a toy - yes or no, leave. The game purchases are so easy to purchase.

I'm genuinely curious about the link to gambling. I haven't heard of this.

I can see it might be the case if you're buying a loot box where the contents vary e.g. you get a really good prize the first time and then keep spending even when the prizes aren't good because you're hoping for the pay off.

But if you're just buying in-game currency which you know will allow you to level up /get new 'kit' or decorations, then I can't see the link? It would just be like buying a new game or an expansion pack for one you know you enjoy. Not trying to be goady, I'm genuinely interested!

I can't vote but broadly I agree with you OP, although I really like the idea of getting them to put a small amount in savings. I think that would help 'kick start' the idea of saving up and once they've got some (forced) savings they are more likely to choose to save more to add to it

It’s a lot of money, where did they get that average from?

I wondered that too- if they have worked it out by only looking at users of GoHenry or similar it's going to be skewed isn't it?

I'm of the a) it's a lot of pocket money and b) maybe only allow them to spend half camps.

I think you have to be really careful when you look at 'average pocket money' figures as reports don't distinguish between what the children are expected to buy out of that. So some children will get no sweets, magazines, ice creams etc unless they buy their own.

I also wonder how much you'll give them as teens if they have that much now, and whether that sets up unrealistic 'free spend' expectations for life.

For that amount of pocket money I'd be expecting them to be buying birthday & Christmas presents for immediate family out of their own money.

I wouldn’t allow any in app purchases at all - they would have to be real specials - it’s a process that normalises a pattern of spending that is hugely destructive. I would also limit sweets etc.
I say would - mine don’t get pocket money because they don’t need anything and have sufficient birthday funds to get anything b they want, if they want it enough. They still get to bank and I am open to negotiations.

I'm also curious about that average as I give my ds (8) £2 a week via the gohenry app. He gives a few pence every week to a charity via the go Henry account and he's allowed to buy minecoins on minecraft now and again.

He realised after a few spends that it's better to save up for things that he can enjoy more. But, I do indulge him in mine coins-at his age I spent everything on sweets and lucky bag crap!

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I can see what you mean about the constant temptation

I agree with your husband. I also don't give mine pocket money unless she does chores to earn it. I pay low wages too lol

When she's earned it, she can spent it on what she likes (robux included!) within reason.

We had the same argument about the same purchase! Robucks and Fortnite stuff actually. We left it that he could buy some in-game things, but not spend all his money on it - not sure what the percentage was but it was half or less of his weekly money. It actually worked out well because he did end up spending quite a lot in Fortnite, and then totally went off Fortnite, and like I told him all along, he couldn't sell that stuff and try to recoup any of his money from it - it was just pixels and the money was gone. It was a good lesson for him and he barely spends money on in-game things anymore.

BTW we give them their age in dollars each week, which sounds on a par with what you give.