DH is lying and I can't figure out what about

[kellydon6]

DH is hiding something, several times I have gone downstairs, he hasn't heard me coming and he quickly clicks off something on his phone.

I caught him using an anonymous chat site a year ago which was weird but forgivable as long as he didn't do it again.

I know how iPhones work and how I can see everything he's clicked on at certain times. So I asked him clearly what he was hiding. He said he had been gambling (he knows I have an issue with this, but I also know where all his money is so I know it's not any more than the profits from his matched betting). It felt like he revealed one truth to hide the real, relationship-impacting truth.
I checked his battery for the past hour which includes when I shocked him and he hid something and I could see he hadn't been on anything suspicious.

But I've had this feeling for a while - it's now the third time in a week I've caught him off guard and he's quickly hidden something and looks so guilty. I need to know what he was doing.

He wouldn't access (and doesn't use) safari on his iphone, this is because I caught him on that site a year ago and he was trying to prove he couldn't go on it again.

So my only suspicion is that he's accessing a website through an app - the apps he is using are all news apps like Guardian.
Can someone help me here? I know I sound crazy but I really need to know.

Thanks

Hi op 🙂 I'm sure the battery usage monitor thingy shows the where the percentage of battery is being mostly used 🤔.

If you know his Apple ID and password then you can see which apps he's downloaded.

Hmmm, I'm racking my brains for you x

@jenntonic thanks for the response.

I can see all the apps - they all look normal and he knows I access this since what happened a year ago. So he would be careful.

I think it's through another app and if so I don't know how to see i.e. in app browser?

What was the chat site you caught him on last? Because it will be something similar I bet

Aghhhhh this is annoying 😁. Maybe he's in private browsing mode ? Or involved in a Mumsnet esque bunfight discussion over a guardian article ? Buying you something ? X

Mine had some sort of secret email thing set up that you needed a code for. Stupid fucker couldn’t remember the code so had to resort to text which is how I caught him.

You can also communicate without actual at sending emails by signing in to an account and changing drafts.

Chrome incognito?

You can access a private browser through Safari so your history and activity doesn’t show up.

He's not on safari full stop or another browser. I went through his battery (it shows every single app you click on even for a few seconds)
He had been on:

• work related app (his work is not anything that could be suspicious)
• a game app (doesn't use internet)
• Guardian - it was Guardian he had closed the app off but left all others open.

The email thing I'm not sure I understand? He wouldn't give his password to his email if that's what you mean? I have access to his email account but I just don't go on it but he could use it for all I know.

You can delete apps and hide them from the purchased view in the App Store. I’m presuming if it was deleted the battery use might not show it but I’m not sure.

He's chatting to women online obviously. There's many ways to do this.

There used to be a guardian dating site? Is it still running? Maybe you can access it through the app?

So because of the past I understand the battery usage so well and your "screen time".

Basically, you can't hide anything from it, you can delete apps but these then show up as "deleted app" in battery.

I think it's something to do with talking to people online but I need to figure out how or how I can catch him?

Guardian soulmates maybe.

If you don't trust him why are you with him? This level of checking and policing of his phone is not healthy

He's not logged in to Guardian at all - he also isn't the type to use any website that costs money... I think it's a website through Guardian, so for example, if you click on an Instagram post they've shared (they do in Coronavirus updates) then it takes you to insta and counts in battery as "Guardian". He spends a long time on news sites a day considering - usually BBC, Guardian, Financial Times and Sport

So a year ago he was chatting to other women. Since then you've been checking his phone usage and now he's switching off his phone when you catch him unaware. You say you checked through what he'd been looking at, was this as soon as you caught him or later when he'd already had a chance to delete anything?

Why are you bothering? Do you trust him? If not, the relationship is dead in the water. If you do, genuinely, then stop tracking his phone use.

Did you get couple counselling or anything last year or did he just promise really, really, really, really truly with a cherry on top to never do it again?

I can't be bothered to go through why I'm with him etc
It's the stage where I need to know, I can then have the strength to leave. I'm not policing his phone - he was very obviously caught out and my gut went. He handed over his phone so he's obviously confident I won't find anything - doesn't mean it isn't there

He wasn't really chatting to women online. It was a weird sex website where the point is you never reveal your identity. I then went on the website to decide how I felt about it, I decided it was weird but quite harmless in the grand scheme so decided to move on from it.

I agree with @DontStandSoCloseToMe

You clearly don't trust him. So why are you with him?

If hes on google chrome,that wont show up.And your history stays the same on the normal page.

I caught my ex using facebook to access some other website (or app maybe? I don't know!) and whilst that site was meant to be a bit like pinterest ie people could make or look at collections of pics that were in their areas of interest, it turned out that his area of interest was women masturbating. But if I'd just checked his internet history it would only have shown facebook.

@FOF44 something like this is my suspicion!! However as I said he wasn't on any social media site - he had only been on those 3 apps I said above in the past hour.

It's when he said the truth is he had gambled but when I checked he hadn't been on any gambling websites.

Just feels like he's lying and I need to know

There are some apps that are dodgy that have a calculator icon or a news icon so it's not something oh would obviously click on?

I see the MN ducking stool has been wheeled out

He's done something wrong : LTB
He's done nothing wrong: the trust is gone, so LTB.

Priceless.