To be annoyed at IVF comments

[Strawberryshortcake28]

My IVF was cancelled due to CV which although was devestating I completely agree and understand money and resources need to be better spent elsewhere

What I am annoyed about is the comments I have been hearing about how it shouldn't be available in the first place on the NHS and it is a waste of money

Infertility is a disease! Caused by all different health issues imagine not being able to have your own DC
Imagine trying every month and getting your hopes up for years and years to be disappointed month on month

Imagine watching all your friends have their dc and think you'll never get the chance and feeling like you have nothing in common anymore
Imagine waking up every Xmas or mother's day with no DC to spend it with

Infertility has been the hardest experience of my life and made me severely depressed IVF gives me hope .

Yes you can go private and pay for it yourself but not everyone is in the financial position a lot of couples spend thousands on treatment with no DC at the end the NHS could be their last hope give them one more shot
Yes adoption may be an option but not everyone can be approved or is it an easy process

Aibu to be angry ?

@DellAmorenonsisa the personal effects you’ve listed a few posts above mirror mine so much I could have written it myself.

Please don’t leave. Don’t let the keyboard warriors win.

given that nature wouldn’t have given you one anyway?

Massive slippery slope you’ve careered off there,

‘Nature’ would have the cancer patients die. Is that ok with you?

@DellAmorenonsisa Sending love and strength to you x
Try to ignore the idiots and their toxic opinions on here. None of them matter - only the people that love and care for you.

Sending you the biggest of hugs if you'd like them, @DellAmorenonsisa. I can almost feel the pain in those posts. My God, that stuff hurts.

I would give you the £5K if I could.

@Strawberryshortcake28 go to the infertility boards here. You will find two things in short supply here; support and information.

To all those with children who are being dismissive of IVF, try living every hour of every day feeling pointless. Try and count the number of times per day you see ‘family’ this and ‘family’ that. The barrage of ‘my life wasn’t complete without kids’ ‘I didn’t know what love was’ ‘my kids are my world’, ‘as a mother.....’ and the list goes on.

Tbh some days I would rather have cancer then infertility, the depression is that crushing.

I thought ivf pregnancy were higher risk 🤔 I looked it up recently but cannot for life of me remember why, something to do with increased risk of preeclampsia?

I found the Fertility Friends website hugely helpful too. I still have friends - real life friends - from that site now.

This thread isn't any indication of this but other women, especially those in the same situation, can really be saviours in this horrible, unenviable situation no one would choose to be part of.

I always thought one of the reasons the nhs funded it was because of access to healthcare for all, rather than a right to have a child. Equality of access is fundamental to how this country views healthcare, and if ivf wasn’t covered only rich infertile people could afford treatment which goes against all the values our health system is set up around.

In my case if the NHS treated thyroid antibodies, PCOS and rare blood clotting disorders seriously then I would never have needed IVF. But it doesn’t so I spent 10 years ttc before IVF finally gave me a child in my private cycle. While this ignorance for basic female health issues continues IVF should be available on the NHS.

The other disease this country suffers from is wilful selfishness. It permeates everything from Brexit, to racism Harry & Meg, to the attitude to Covid 19, to IVF.

The sooner we face how sick some people's minds is the sooner we can fix it. The only common values these people share is the desire to break the country bit by bit.

IVF is a right in 2020. No woman should be shamed for using it. Anyone in the public space bleating it takes away from other 'essential' services needs to hear 2 words: your sacked.

IVF should not be funded by the NHS. Infertility is not a disease. It may be caused by a disease but is not one in and of itself. There's lots of things that shouldn't be provided on the NHS which are simply quirks of the human condition.

And yes, I've got 2 children. We needed fertility treatment to have DC1. We paid privately for it.

The only good thing coming out of this is seeing the solidarity of support from women who have all sadly had to go through IVF/infertility/miscarriages. Gives me hope that the whole world isn't just a massive trash bin fire

Stay strong

given that nature wouldn’t have given you one anyway?

If we went by what nature wanted then most women and babies would die in childbirth . Thank goodness medical progress means we can circumvent nature in this regards.

@Daftodil - having a liver transplant or a new kidney will save someone’s life.
Having a baby will not save that persons life. It’s completely different and not comparable.

Having a baby is a want and not a need. People need transplants and cancer treatments to live.

@feelinguseless78

thats nice that you could afford to pay for it. What do you suggest women on low incomes do? just suck it up and deal with it?

Having a baby creates a life?

Infertility is not a disease. It may be caused by a disease but is not one in and of itself

You could say the same of blindness/deafness.

Not critical to life, but a human being should have a reasonable expectation of reproducing, just as they have a reasonable expectation of seeing/hearing.

@bee222 see what l mean. Lots of smug lm alright Jacks

@DellAmorenonsisa

Some of us care, we care very much. I haven’t been through it but I can empathise and continue to support access to IVF on the NHS. Please don’t let a very keyboard warriors drive you away. Most of us do not think this way.

Lifestyle choice illnesses are covered on the NHS, obesity causes a myriad of health issues snc is entirely chosen. Type 2 diabetes is manged or even reversible by improving lifestyle and yet they are available on the NHS.

Having PCOS, endometriosis, missing tubes because of ectopic pregnancy are all illnesses outside of your control and cause infertility. It absolutly should be funded.

@feelinguseless78 - the only reason you could AFFORD private treatment is because the NHS funds it in the UK (and funds it indirectly in terms of research around the world). When it stops then IVF prices around the world would become on a level with the USA (possibly even higher) making it the preserve of the rich. Could you still afford £30,000- £60,000 per cycle?

@SunShine682

IVF can save a life. Not everything is done by the NHS to stop someone from dying - sometimes it is done to improve the quality of a life.

Go read some of the posts from women on here who are severely impacted by infertility, some of whom who have tried to take their own life or had a partner who sadly took his own life.. If that doesn't move you and make you think that the NHS should help these women, you are beyond reasoning with.

@SunShine682

There are many conditions the NHS treats that improves wellbeing and quality of life. Eczema is treated and in most cases, isn’t life altering. Hey fever, ditto. Osteoarthritis - pain relief and physio - as joint replacements often aren’t needed, so it’s mainly symptom management for many years. Will
a woman who’s had a mastectomy die without reconstructive surgery? No but we fund it because we recognise it can hugely improve quality of life. Where does it end?

Some of the comments on here make me so angry. Ignore them op, mumsnet seems to be full of rich all right jack cows lately. Don't be taking their comments on board, they either haven't got a clue whats it like or B they rich as f*!! I hope after all this you get your baby