To blame the parents who are moaning about their kids crap birthdays in lockdown!

[Fishcakey]

You gave them unreasonable expectations! When I was a kid the four of us round the table with birthday cake was the norm. Maybe we got a takeaway. Nobody had parties at bouncy places for 20 or midnight pool parties with stretch limos. Get a grip parents. Surely unless your kid is a spoilt brat it will be happy to get a present and a cake?!

Who pissed in your cornflakes?

We had planned a simple birthday tea in the house with a handful of friends. He was looking forward to playing games he had planned for his friends, more than the presents and cake.

It's not a massive deal, but it is disappointing, especially to a 5 year old who doesn't really understand why. So of course it felt crap, especially having recently had to tell him that the holidays we had planned this year won't be happening.

Yes, these are not the most important issues in the world, and I'm not dwelling on them. But it is a disappointment.

Why can't the children have their celebrations after lockdown though?

They can. But I'll say it again. When you are six, the actual day of your birthday is a big deal.

You seem to think that it's OK for a small child to be disappointed about missing out on modest plans but to be sad about anything more elaborate is just karma. I'm not sure who made you the party police, or where your line is for an appropriate celebration.

I don't think you are enjoying lockdown as much as you think if you need to spend it taking digs at children and their parents who just want them to be happy.

After weeks of no anything outside the house - swimming, cinema, other after school activities, no school, no play dates, nothing, for a child it’s a pretty tough cherry on the cake that their birthday is also corona-virused. Not even being able to have a best friend or cousins round for birthday tea. Don’t be so un-empathetic OP. You were little once too surely.

Growing up I never had treats throughout the year so birthday parties were a big day out with half of my class invited. I realise not every child can have that but when you are young weeks seem like months and having to wait just a few weeks could seem like almost a year to some.

I would be in a state of relief if I had to cancel a birthday party. I get so nervous beforehand. I look forward to the day that DD has smaller parties.
OP parents do these parties to give something lovely to their kids. It's just a nice thing to do.

God OP. Why so bitter?

Fishcakey. I completely agree with you.

I'm in my 50s. I had about 8 children round for games at home for most of my primary school birthdays. It's not a new thing.

Fishcakey You sound a bit miserable. Birthday parties when you are little are amazing. Last year my 3 year old knew what cake she wanted and what she wanted to do. Having all your friends to a party at that age is really exciting and of course they’ll be a bit disappointed. My little girl is desperately sad about lockdown as she’s missing her friends and her grandparents. It’s already a struggle and I’m worried about her. We’ll look at doing a zoom party for her and will try and make the best of it but if you begrudge little children for feeling a bit disappointed, it says more about you than them.

In my experience big expensive parties for children are often held as show off events for other parents. Not for the sake of the child. That's what people are missing. Just my opinion.

When I was a young child (70s/80s) it was the norm to have at least 10 friends round for a fest of musical chairs, pass-the-parcel, sausages on sticks and birthday cake. All to the sound of the latest records played on the family's Amstrad Music Centre! True, parties at venues/restaurants weren't a thing back then, but inviting your friends most certainly was.

Oh and I remember big parties during the 80s. Big parties at home were common but I remember lots in church halls with a bouncy castle etc. There is a lot of bitterness on here. Parties have been the norm for decades.

The birthday we had planned for my daughter's 1st birthday was to take her to the zoo as she absolutely loves animals atm and gets very excited when a bird or cat etc comes into our garden. Then the next day her grandparents were going to come around and see her, give her a few presents, have cake and Bbq (if the weather was nice) I'm hoping some it still might be doable as her birthday is beginning of June, mainly being able to see family as this is the first grandchild.

To adults not having the party you want, you do realise you are that age for 365 days not the one day? I've seen many people dragging out their 50th birthdays for at least 6 months.

I only remember my 18th Birthday because photos were taken. Having a birthday in January a few days before my younger sister, a miserable father, no money and no camera meant I never got the type of birthday party children and adults expect today.

It’s not really up to you how people celebrate birthdays? Of course it’s fine to be sad to miss family and friends.

I remember how special my daughters first birthday felt, such a milestone and an achievement! Those opportunities don’t come round twice.

People are entitled to feel how they feel. You are not entitled to tell them how to feel.

My son was going to have his first every birthday party for his 8th with all his best friends. He's allowed to be disappointed in that - that's a huge, exciting event at that age - like big expensive holidays abroad for us adults --- but they're allowed to moan about missing that yeah?

A cake, stuck in the same house they've been in for weeks, with the same people, going on the same walking routes, is nothing special.

Haven't RTFT but I think my now 11yo is perfectly entitled to be disappointed that his long-awaited trip to Warner Bro studio had to be postponed. He understands why and he knows we'll do it later, but he was excited.

As for his older brother - well I'm pretty sure sitting home with his Mum and bro were NOT his intended plans for his 21st!

I agree with your point in that children's birthday parties are very extravagant compared to when I was a child and it was basically family, cake and presents. Young children are allowed to be disappointed but I do wonder if much of the disappointment mentioned on SM actually belongs to the parent. The way you've worded your post was a bit brutal though!

Chip... Meet shoulder... This lockdown is really bringing out the worst judgements and ill will in people.

My 3 year old was supposed to have her first proper birthday party with all her friends (turning 4). She sent the invitations then we obviously had to cancel. Her dad has had to go away for 10 weeks to work, so it will be just me and her, she can't even see her cousins. You sound horrible

Don’t worry op there are a few dc in my daughters class who have difficult home lives and they don’t have parties at all. One 8 year old told me that for her party her mum invited her own friends round and they got drunk. She didn’t have much fun but hey at least she’s not dead. Hope this cheers you up 🙄

I'm sad that my 40th will be spent in lockdown, not the meal and night out with friends, meal with parents and followed by a trip abroad as planned...no I'm not dead, but I'm allowed to be disappointed, as are children. How miserable you are!

I get your point op. I had some lovely parties when I was a child but they were all at home with party games and a sandwich and cake type tea. They were exciting because that was a huge treat back then. Going to parties was also a big treat because you got invited to maybe half a dozen a year at most.

I hear friends nowadays talking of how their children or grandchildren are fed up going to parties every weekend. I know one neighbour who arrived to collect her child from a party to discover that most of the children had phoned their parents earlier to come and collect them because they were bored (these were 9 year olds).

I also remember a very dispiriting thread on here where a poster's child had had several refusals to his party because the invitees thought a magician was babyish. I think these kids were about 8 and loads of posters were saying oh yes, I don't blame them.

Of course not all children are like this but many seem jaded with parties and want more and more from them - pamper parties etc for young children.

My son had his 18th, he hasn’t been able to visit a pub 👍🏻