To blame the parents who are moaning about their kids crap birthdays in lockdown!

[Fishcakey]

You gave them unreasonable expectations! When I was a kid the four of us round the table with birthday cake was the norm. Maybe we got a takeaway. Nobody had parties at bouncy places for 20 or midnight pool parties with stretch limos. Get a grip parents. Surely unless your kid is a spoilt brat it will be happy to get a present and a cake?!

Ah. Such a cheery post. This is why I come to mumsnet.

Um what if your birthday usually involves seeing family? YABU. I come from a large family and we always see each other for birthdays.

Not sure you should be this invested in how others celebrate if I'm honest...

Calm down love 😂 my son has had a party every year of his life. Quite big extravagant parties actually. Should I not because you think he should just get a cake? I’ll do that this year then 👍🏻

People are dealing with something unprecedented, their normal has been taken away. People are entitled to feel a bit disoriented and disappointed. Move on 🤷🏼‍♀️

So because you had to sit around a table and have some cake for your birthday other people are not allowed to treat there children to a proper party?

Ridiculous post.

Seriously I am an unsociable cow! I just keep reading 'oh it's not the birthday we planned' and thinking oh get a grip, you're not dead

We did that too. We also often had a party. 🤷‍♀️ This year we won't, but may buy slightly more extravagant presents.

My DDs birthday is today.... she is 8. We’ve had a nice day actually but she hasn’t had the party that was planned. Funnily enough I had a birthday party when I was 8 and that was all the way back in the 1970s. Just because you were raised with not much hoopla doesn’t mean people can’t feel a bit sad about things. My 50th birthday is in June and trust me if we’re still doing this I shall be behaving way worse than any 8 year old.

Ahhhh, you’re right! I’ll just invite four of my sons closest friends round for cake and some party games. Just a simple traditional party. His grandma can come round to, she’s not very well but my son would be so excited to see her... Why didn’t I think of that in the first place? Oh...wait...

It’s sad as it’s been planned and children (And I) look forward to things. I don’t think there’s anything wrong being disappointed when nice plans you’ve made don’t happen. Especially when you’re 8.

When I was a kid the norm was a party at the community centre with party games and sometimes a magician, or a party at your house, or a McDonalds party, or a disco in the school hall which could be hired on Saturday afternoons.

We didn't have softplay parties because softplay centres didn't exist in the way they do now, softplay was just for babies and was basically some foam climbing shapes in a room at the leisure centre. We didn't have limo and pool parties because, again, they weren't really a thing back then. I can guarantee that if they were then we would have had them.

Times change and modern children having the expectations of a modern childhood, such as a venue-based party, does not make them spoilt.

Oh trust me, my husband is 50 soon and if his plans get cancelled he will be throwing a spoilt brat wobbly for sure.

I am almost 38. I had birthdays parties. Not every year. But several times.

Everyone I know has one in reception, a whole class party at a soft play or similar, then it's small ones after that.

It's my birthday next week. All we did last year was have my best friend and her husband round and dp cooked. This year, obviously no one is coming round. It's a bit disappointing but so what.

However, I am not a young child thats had their life turned upside down, rarely allowed to leave the house and cant see my friends.

I would imagine most people would have a bit of sympathy for kids at the moment. And they can be disappointed, without ever having had an extravagant birthday.

Oh don't know that it's the kids moaning though. Is it just the parents. Is a small tea party just not Instagram worthy?

Tbh it’s my birthday next week and I’m a bit miserable about it, I normally go out for a nice meal and a walk. Of course kids are allowed to be disappointed

Wow. My soon-to-be 6yo wanted to invite three friends round for a birthday tea on her birthday. We can't do that now. I've told her we can do it as soon as we are allowed to, but she is sad that it won't be on her actual birthday. Because that sort of stuff is important WHEN YOU ARE FIVE.

So go away with your goady posts and let us feel sad that our children are disappointed.

Birthday parties for kids aren’t a modern thing. My parents are in their late 60s and they had them, as did I.

I think it’s perfectly acceptable to feel a bit sad that your child isn’t getting the birthday they were looking forward to, with their friends and family round them.

When I say I ahd birthday parties I mean as a small child. Tou couldnt pay me to have a party now.

Op are you saying you never feel a bit disappointed or down about anything, ever. Cause you could always be dead?

I just think it's the parents expectations rather than the children's? I'm not taking about three friends round for tea. I'm talking about the whole class having a swimming with sharks experience!

It's my DS's 16th birthday soon.

Yes, he won't get the birthday he'd planned ... but I don't remember my 16th birthday at all. I'm fairly sure he will remember his.

I don't think they're that much of a recent invention. In my primary school (from 85) we all had whole class parties.

No there wasn't soft play but a party at home with games and food was totally the norm.

Oh don't know that it's the kids moaning though. Is it just the parents. Is a small tea party just not Instagram worthy?

I dont think it's bad for parents to be disappointed either if you planned in having friends round for tea, or whatever the child wanted to do. Its disappointing that they cant.

Let's be fair, lots if families have tea together everyday. Probably more so now. Most takeaways here are closed. Its quote difficult to make it special. Even a special tea party.

And actually, lots of people are becoming social media famous by celebrating in unusual ways. There was someone who celebrated their 21st by setting up every room in her house as a different pub/bar and did a pub crawl.

They were talking about that on the news this morning. I think if your aim is to be insta famous, whole people dont have anything to do, now is the time to do it.

But what if the party they’d planned was three friends round for tea - they can’t even do that! Are they allowed to be sad about that?

I’m sad about all sorts of things for my kids. I’m not crying my eyes out and I’m cheery and bright about it around them but they’ve got All Star cricket kit they might not get to use, cousins and friends’ birthdays they’re missing out on, school trips they haven’t got to go on, a favourite park padlocked - it’s pretty shit for kids right now to be honest and they’ve been amazing about it, but it does make me sad. So what.

@givemeacall because I am unsociable (and apparently dead) I am enjoying it!

My daughter isn't a young child - she is 18. She had had her present before her birthday but was looking forward to seeing her siblings and inlaws and her grandmother for a family meal. Of course the meal, along with her trip to the high rope course, was cancelled. I don't think we gave her false expectations - her "party" was more modest than my own 18th - but I think she was quite justified to be disappointed not to see her family.