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Original poster

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo

731 replies

Peyton2020 · 18/04/2020 22:03

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years we have a 3 year old together. before we met I already had 3 tattoos on my wrists and ankle

Last night I told him I wanted another tattoo, which he went crazy at saying he would leave if I got another one. He said that they disgust him and that he wouldn’t be able to look at me if I got one.

The tattoo would be on my forearm and it will be roses, a stop clock and my daughters name and birth date.

I really really want the tattoo, but if I get it I risk my marriage. I don’t know what to do

Please help :)

OP posts:
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12
Naturalbornkiller · 20/04/2020 10:44

the preserve of tramps and sailors

Your showing your age there.

hesgotit · 20/04/2020 10:48

I meant to add that @Naturalbornkiller, she is a prolific poster and I cannot make my mind up if she just lived in the age of "my husband must be obeyed and took those vows" and has now found herself alone and bitter when the husband went off with someone more fun or she is a he?

Definitely north of 60 I reckon, nothing wrong with that but such an outdated attitude!

Very, very old fashioned views that men must be excused, obeyed and not challenged! You know the type that put a dress on before the husband got home in the evening, because why would he want to see her in trousers.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 20/04/2020 10:53

I got my first tattoo a very long time ago. Oh so many people smugly told me I would regret it. If anything I like it more now than I did then, and I like the others I have had, and I plan to get more when the time is right. I do wonder about people who get so het up about how others decorate their bodies. Where does this urge to control what other people like come from? It's very odd.

TabbyMumz · 20/04/2020 11:16

"The snobbery here is hilarious, you do know there are plenty teachers, medics, lawyers etc with tattoos, you just don’t see them."
And I think less of them for it.

TabbyMumz · 20/04/2020 11:19

"The difference to me, is that you've then just ruined your body."

"Tbh I don't think any of us with tattoos care with a fuddy duddy on mumsnet thinks about our bodies or astheic. I think being fat ruins your body, but I bet plenty of the anti tattoo brigage are overweight."

But you are on mumsnet...does that mean you too are a fuddy duddy who is overweight too,?

amazedmummy · 20/04/2020 11:22

@TabbyMumz that makes no sense? You think less of people who have tattoos you can't see? How do you know who to treat with prejudice if you can't see them? Or do you just dislike everyone just in case? Would a doctor be less worthy of saving tour life if he had tattoos?

TabbyMumz · 20/04/2020 11:22

"The preserve of tramps and sailors"

"Your showing your age there."

It is a view that is still widely held. I dont think tattoos look nice on women. I dont think they look nice on men either.

hesgotit · 20/04/2020 11:23

At this time @TabbyMumz you would think less of a medic that is putting his/her own life at risk to save yours or someone close to you".........

Because they had a tattoo?

WTF is wrong with some people, that attitude is dreadful at any time and currently it's vile.

Horrible, horrible person with a vile horrible attitude,

hesgotit · 20/04/2020 11:25

It is a view that is still widely held. I dont think tattoos look nice on women. I dont think they look nice on men either.

Only by nasty judgemental horrible people, than goodness!

hesgotit · 20/04/2020 11:25

*thank

TabbyMumz · 20/04/2020 11:26

amazedmummy

"@TabbyMumzthat makes no sense? You think less of people who have tattoos you can't see? How do you know who to treat with prejudice if you can't see them? Or do you just dislike everyone just in case? Would a doctor be less worthy of saving tour life if he had tattoos?"

Of course it makes sense. I dont like tattoos, if I know someone has one, I automatically think less of them. I dont need to see it. I dont know why that's hard to understand.

It's the same with smoking. I just instantly think anyone who smokes is horrid and stupid.

amazedmummy · 20/04/2020 11:26

And no I don't think the view is widely held. I have never come across anyone with that view in real life.

amazedmummy · 20/04/2020 11:27

But how do you know who you don't like? You don't know if they have tattoos?

hesgotit · 20/04/2020 11:28

It's the same with smoking. I just instantly think anyone who smokes is horrid and stupid.

Jesus, you must be the most judgemental person ever, you see when I meet people like you, I just think what a nasty bitch, thank god i.m not related to that!

amazedmummy · 20/04/2020 11:29

I think @TabbyMumz is just bring goady at this point.

hesgotit · 20/04/2020 11:30

You're right @amazedmummy, someone who has too much time on their furry hands!

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 20/04/2020 11:31

I always thought DH would be like this, but we talked about a long scar I have, and now he says he has no problem with it if it helps my self confidence.

NotACleverName · 20/04/2020 11:31

And I think less of them for it.

I know the feeling. Can stand people who judge other adults for what they choose to do with their bodies.

TabbyMumz · 20/04/2020 11:35

I rethink it's like marmite, you either love them or hate them. I just hate them. Just like I hate smoking. I think it's disgusting.

hesgotit · 20/04/2020 11:40

@TabbyMumz so you think less of a medic who saves your life, because they have a tattoo?

I think judgemental people like you are disgusting and that people who disgust you should not be obliged to treat you, they should be given the option. Especially when they are putting their own lives at risk. Unfortunately they can't refuse and wouldn't because even with 100 tattoos and smoking they are much better people than you.

TabbyMumz · 20/04/2020 11:40

"It is a view that is still widely held. I dont think tattoos look nice on women. I dont think they look nice on men either."

"Only by nasty judgemental horrible people, than goodness!"

Surely the fact that you have made a judgement that someone is nasty and judgemental, makes you the same,?

HeronLanyon · 20/04/2020 11:47

I don’t like tattoos but I don’t think I think anything negative about someone with them (I say ‘i don’t think’ because i think I have seen some which have made me judge - possibly full face skull (which I’ve seen live) - but not more run of the mill tattoos.

Anyway what a tosser your dh is !
I find you wanting one knowing he will leave you says as much about your view of your marriage as it tells me he’s a tosser !
Hopefully it’s a high temper issue which will die down and you are able to talk about it and you are able to do as you please with your own body

rayoflightboy · 20/04/2020 11:52

People do judge. Plus, what they might think of as uber cool and edgy now, will likely make them cringe in 10 years’ time.

Im 47,ive been getting tattooed for years,I didnt get tattoos to be cool and edgy.I got them becausei liked them.Me,not for anyone else.

And in 10 years i will be 57 with even more tattoos.

Knucklehead101 · 20/04/2020 11:53

Absolutely do it. Have a bum with some poo coming out of it if that's what you really want! I've got 7 tattoos so am slightly biased but really...
Also dont understand how people can say 'it's your body, your choice' but at the same time tell you your design is tacky so dont do that one.

Queenofthestress · 20/04/2020 11:56

@TabbyMumz you do realise that you've probably met alot of people who have tattoos you can't see?

Tattoos have been around alot longer than most people think, maybe not in the UK, but around the world they have

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