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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo

731 replies

Peyton2020 · 18/04/2020 22:03

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years we have a 3 year old together. before we met I already had 3 tattoos on my wrists and ankle

Last night I told him I wanted another tattoo, which he went crazy at saying he would leave if I got another one. He said that they disgust him and that he wouldn’t be able to look at me if I got one.

The tattoo would be on my forearm and it will be roses, a stop clock and my daughters name and birth date.

I really really want the tattoo, but if I get it I risk my marriage. I don’t know what to do

Please help :)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
ICantBelieveInYou · 19/04/2020 23:32

A quick google says that 25-30% of all British adults have one or more tattoos. That's a really big lower-class population!

Alsohuman · 19/04/2020 23:41

Sounds feasible.

ukgeographics.co.uk/blog/social-grade-a-b-c1-c2-d-e

Liddell · 19/04/2020 23:46

It's your body you must do as you please.

ICantBelieveInYou · 20/04/2020 00:12

Sounds feasible

Fair play. Bloody lower class normalising their disgusting chavvy practices.

MamaFrey29 · 20/04/2020 00:14

Oh god. No.

Tattoos are horrendous and sooooo chavy. Don't get.

ICantBelieveInYou · 20/04/2020 00:17

My question is how did we let the C2, D and E folk grow to 47% of the population, and what can we do about it? At these numbers there's a real chance that my children could one day bump into one of them. What if their chavvy fashion choices rub off on them?? 😱

ICantBelieveInYou · 20/04/2020 00:25

Honestly, this thread is really disgraceful. I know it can be difficult to admit when you're in the wrong, but a lot of people who have replied in this thread need to have a look at themselves and do just that. We're going through a global crisis, with everyone talking about how "we're all in this together".. "the great leveller"... And you're on here sneering and making derogatory comments about something being more associated with people from a different socioeconomic background to you? A group that includes a LOT of the nurses, binmen, delivery drivers, utility providers and shop workers who are doing everything they can to keep your day-to-day going as normally as possible. Shameful.

Alsohuman · 20/04/2020 00:55

It’s probably the most appalling display of snobbery I’ve ever seen.

rayoflightboy · 20/04/2020 06:53

Please don't get a clock with your daughter's name. It is the equivalent of saying that her time's up i.e. a death wish. You wouldn't wish death on your daughter, would you?

@blueshoes

Dont be so bloody stupid.

orangejuicer · 20/04/2020 07:07

I bet some NHS workers have tattoos. Chavvy huh?? Bet you'll all still go out and clap though.

hesgotit · 20/04/2020 07:15

@blueshoes what a stupid comment!

RibenaMonsoon · 20/04/2020 07:38

I would never get a tattoo, it's just not me. But I don't understand all this hostility towards people that have them.
Theres a lot of hostility on this thread. I wonder how many of those people spout the "be kind" all over social media.

OP it's your body and nobody should be in a position to tell you what to do with it. If my DH was saying the same to me, I'd be wondering how committed to me he really was, especially over something so trivial.

Leflic · 20/04/2020 07:47

Oh get over yourselves with the snobbery comments.
You can still do a lower socioeconomic job and not have a tattoo.
Plenty of rich and famous people have them. They still look terrible .

crazydiamond222 · 20/04/2020 08:00

I am not a fan of tattoos. However having said that the fact that you already had tattoos before you met you husband suggests to me that he was at that point well aware of what he was committing to and what makes you happy.

I therefore think that he should be more accepting of your decision to have another tattoo if his objections are purely cosmetic (i.e if you can afford this without making sacrifices elsewhere as a family or his concerns don't relate to the content of the tattoo in relation to your daughter).

lmcneil003 · 20/04/2020 08:30

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TabbyMumz · 20/04/2020 08:53

I think tattoos are pretty horrible. He can probably put up with a couple of small ones, but not really like more extensive ones. I wouldnt want my partner to have tattoos either. It's not just do I like the pattern or colour, it's the underlying realisation that they are a bit of a tw*t.

Justkeepswimming11 · 20/04/2020 09:14

Honestly some of the people on here! What century do some of you live in 🤣 it's art! Just in a different form. What's the difference between me spending £300 on a piece of art to hang on the wall and £300 for art tattooed on my skin.

If you hadn't guessed I have a few, full thigh, full calves, back, forearm (for the same reason as op it's my daughters name etc) never thought to ever ask for permission.

So for him saying he'd leave you.... About sums him up but I'm someone who would go and get a piercing instead 🤷 not big on being told what I can and can't do with my body/money :D it's not like op is planning on getting a full back piece, if it helps my step dad is the same with my mum. She had tattoos before him but is 'banned' from getting anymore even though I know she would like a cover up done...

It's you decision op. Its whether you can live with being denied what you want to do with emotional blackmail 🤷

TabbyMumz · 20/04/2020 09:45

"Honestly some of the people on here! What century do some of you live in 🤣 it's art! "

I'm sorry, but I think it's horrible. It's not a modern thing, so dont know why you mention what century people live in. Some of the pictures are ok, but on skin just looks awful.

"What's the difference between me spending £300 on a piece of art to hang on the wall and £300 for art tattooed on my skin."

The difference to me, is that you've then just ruined your body.

TheWordmeister · 20/04/2020 10:02

Quite a massive difference between a painting on your wall and a tattoo 😂😂

Tattoos are disfiguring to many and also, pretty impossible to undo. I know, as I’ve had one removed. It was tiny and in a not normally visible place. After much time and expense, and a bit of pain, it is still not completely gone. It’s likely going to cost me another £200 on top of the £250 I’ve spent so far to remove a tattoo the size of a pound coin.

I would be really upset if one of my dcs got a tattoo and quietly devastated if they got one in a conspicuous place.

People do judge. Plus, what they might think of as uber cool and edgy now, will likely make them cringe in 10 years’ time.

JKScot4 · 20/04/2020 10:28

The snobbery here is hilarious, you do know there are plenty teachers, medics, lawyers etc with tattoos, you just don’t see them.
🤣🤣

Naturalbornkiller · 20/04/2020 10:37

The difference to me, is that you've then just ruined your body.

Tbh I don't think any of us with tattoos care with a fuddy duddy on mumsnet thinks about our bodies or astheic. I think being fat ruins your body, but I bet plenty of the anti tattoo brigage are overweight.

Hannah021 · 20/04/2020 10:40

@TheMotherofAllDilemmas
Perhaps he is no longer as blindly in love as he was once so he accepts the original ones but dislike the idea of another?

I think u r the only person who got to the bottom on it.

lmcneil003 · 20/04/2020 10:41

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lmcneil003 · 20/04/2020 10:42

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hesgotit · 20/04/2020 10:43

@lmcneil003 you always side with the men in whatever scenario it is, you're opinion is not worth reading TBH!