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Original poster

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo

731 replies

Peyton2020 · 18/04/2020 22:03

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years we have a 3 year old together. before we met I already had 3 tattoos on my wrists and ankle

Last night I told him I wanted another tattoo, which he went crazy at saying he would leave if I got another one. He said that they disgust him and that he wouldn’t be able to look at me if I got one.

The tattoo would be on my forearm and it will be roses, a stop clock and my daughters name and birth date.

I really really want the tattoo, but if I get it I risk my marriage. I don’t know what to do

Please help :)

OP posts:
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12
lmcneil003 · 19/04/2020 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

hesgotit · 19/04/2020 16:46

@lmcneil003

Tattoo = disfigure

PMSL!

madcatladyforever · 19/04/2020 17:03

Why are you not having a serious conversation about it together? It's a tattoo not an affair.
I can't believe the pair of you are considering getting divorced over a poxy tattoo. Someone should bang your heads together.
If you can't sort this out how are you going to be able to make the big decisions together.

LaMarschallin · 19/04/2020 17:11

lmcneil003

Massive double standards..sad

Thank you, Mr. President.

Your burger's nearly ready - such a beautiful burger.

metalmutha · 19/04/2020 17:17

Get 2

onlyreadingneverposting8 · 19/04/2020 17:21

Y

LaMarschallin · 19/04/2020 17:28

B4 it's 2 L8

Tartyflette · 19/04/2020 19:07

I have been on here a long time and have seen the odd thread (or six) where an unhappy woman posted about how she didn’t fancy her DH any longer because he had put on weight and refused to do anything about it, or become a real slob in awful ratty clothes etc and a not inconsiderable number of posters have replied saying LTB.
He’s totally unreasonable not to consider you and your marriage .... but that’s what the OP is doing.

turnandfacethenamechange · 19/04/2020 19:10

he had put on weight and refused to do anything about it, or become a real slob in awful ratty clothes etc

Hardly the same. Arm tattoo can be covered with a sleeve.

Outtedagain · 19/04/2020 19:13

The tattoo is somewhat irrelevant, his controlling behaviour would bother me massively.

SugarNyx · 19/04/2020 19:52

I won’t have anyone telling me what I can and can’t do with my body. If he is so pathetic as to leave me and our family over it then he wasn’t worth anything in the first place. I’d rather be single than be with a creep who would use threats to control me. Fuck him.

Celerysam · 19/04/2020 19:59

I'm sorry but I think they are very lower class and I would be gutted if my husband got a tattoo because of the image it portrays.

Sonichu · 19/04/2020 20:27

What image is that? 🙄

Rosiejim · 19/04/2020 20:44

@Celerysam is that you, Mrs Bucket?

oblada · 19/04/2020 20:45

Lose the husband.
If he would separate for this then it's not a strong relationship to start with. I don't care if my husband puts on weight/has a beard/gets white hair/loses his hair etc. Well I would care a bit I suppose but I wouldn't leave for that and wouldn't stop loving him. My only concern re weight would be his overall health.
Maybe I'm biased as we both have tattoos (oh and we're both in professional roles and generally I suppose we would be considered to be 'middle class'. Not that it matters one bit) but I wouldn't veto any tattoo or piercing or whatever my husband wanted to have. I may express concerns if it was particularly tacky or visible (re job prospects) but otherwise it doesn't bother me.
(The clock/rose combo + names and dates does sound very tacky in all honesty)

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/04/2020 21:03

I'm starting to think it's only me who doesn't already know, but who or what is 'Mighty Oncrelmo', as written on that man's face in the photo several pages back?!

macaroniandpizza · 19/04/2020 21:03

Hurrah im now classed as lower class because i have tattoos... life goals complete 😂😂😂

ClientQ · 19/04/2020 21:21

Nobody would have a clue if I had tattoos until I'm in a bikini Grin
I have 10 so far, last one was a back piece which is cherry blossom and gorgeous

Yellowcakestand · 19/04/2020 21:26

I'd definitely do it if he said that to me.
That's ridiculous if he married you with tattoos. Id seriously question the relationship of he threatened to leave you over something like this.
I've had a leg tattoo started by a family member who is an apprentice. My ex wouldn't have liked it but it's my body and I would have done what I wanted anyway

Dipi79 · 19/04/2020 21:51

God, the cloying air of snobbery on this thread has quite surprised me.
I'd rather be lower class with my tattoos, despite my public school education, than be an unmitigated snob.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 19/04/2020 21:59

Perhaps he is no longer as blindly in love as he was once so he accepts the original ones but dislike the idea of another?

Personally, I hate tattoos. I don’t mind so much if they can be covered but Otherwise I would. I didn’t leave my ex because he got a tattoo but at some point he got a little beard in the form of an inverted triangle that I absolutely hated, I don’t think it was the straw that broke the camel’s back or the beginning of the end BUT it added to an already lengthy list of reasons on why I was starting to find him deeply unattractive.

In a very strong and healthy relationship you can even tattoo your face and he would find you delightful but if he is already expressing the idea of leaving, you need to stop and listen because there may be other issues going on in the relationship, that you need to find about as the tattoo issue may just be the tip of the iceberg.

Rosiejim · 19/04/2020 22:23

@Dipi79 I agree. Imagine referring to the “Lower classes” with no sense of irony or awareness. This kind of class snobbery should have sank with the Titanic!

Dubdubdubtub · 19/04/2020 22:45

Actually I would argue that the forearm I’d quite hidden. When you use your arm the forearm is usually against the body. I have had my tattoo now for 5 years but some people who have known me for that long all of a sudden will notice it. My colleague only just noticed mine a few weeks ago when i stretched. I have worked with her for 2 years.

Dubdubdubtub · 19/04/2020 22:46

I was so surprised it took so many people so long to notice. Then I took note of the positioning of my arm and the forearm is more often then not turned away from people even when writing

blueshoes · 19/04/2020 23:21

Please don't get a clock with your daughter's name. It is the equivalent of saying that her time's up i.e. a death wish. You wouldn't wish death on your daughter, would you?