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Original poster

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo

731 replies

Peyton2020 · 18/04/2020 22:03

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years we have a 3 year old together. before we met I already had 3 tattoos on my wrists and ankle

Last night I told him I wanted another tattoo, which he went crazy at saying he would leave if I got another one. He said that they disgust him and that he wouldn’t be able to look at me if I got one.

The tattoo would be on my forearm and it will be roses, a stop clock and my daughters name and birth date.

I really really want the tattoo, but if I get it I risk my marriage. I don’t know what to do

Please help :)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Pulpfiction1 · 19/04/2020 09:57

There are tattos and tattoos. My friend who is a brilliant tattoist is covered from neck to toes and look fabulous. She has embraced the lifestyle and can pull it off because she is a flamoyant artist with style and taste. She always looks good.
Then there are tramp stamps.
I guess it depends on which category you fall into.

I'm sorry but I don't agree with this at all. There is a middle ground between tramp stamp (which actually specifically refers to lower back tattoos) and kat von d type tattoo beauties.

Lots of people have a few tasteful, well done and/or meaningful tattoos that don't look trampy. And at the end of the day tattoos are a question of taste. I have one on the back of my neck that I and lots of other people love but many would probably say is horrible.

The only tattoos that can be a bit naff are trend tattoos and having multiple tattoos that don't match or compliment each other.

Leflic · 19/04/2020 09:57

Buccanarab Covering up is the issue. Why would people with perfectly normal skin cover it what 9/10 times looks a mess of black and blue overly dramatic nonsense.

I can totally see the benefits of tattoo after surgery or with scarring - not hiding the differences but making them your own.

There’s a world of difference between a birthmark and dressing differently. Most people have a choice over dress. Hence the endless debates over burkas and niqabs and control.

GeraniumJohnsonsBlue · 19/04/2020 09:58

If my husband wanted to get a tattoo, I’d be bloody furious, but if he had a discreet one , I’d accept it, albeit grudgingly.

Exactly. Just because the OP already had a couple of (presumably small) existing tattoos on her wrist and ankle when he met her, doesn't mean he has to like the idea of a dirty great big new thing on her forearm.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 19/04/2020 09:58

Do you feel the same about people with scars, birth marks or burns or about people who dress differently

Not comparable are they really? No one chooses to have scars, birth marks or burns. Clothes come off and fashions and tastes change.

I don’t think opinions in real life vs MN on tattoos would vary that much tbh. You either like them or don’t really.

Crimsonnightlotus · 19/04/2020 10:01

Lefric, I don't see is as hypocricy. Something beautiful is indeed beautiful, no matter who has it. I love tattoo. But some people just hate it. And as much as I love tattoo, if the tattoo on soontobe was done 20 years ago and being discoloured and faded, I may think it's ugly. It's an opinion, not a judgement.

rayoflightboy · 19/04/2020 10:03

Oldestchild, it's no point thinking about the future when you are in 20s, but me and my friends are all 40+ now. It's nothing to do with actual tattoo, it's more to do with the skin texture, at 40+. And it's permanent, and it's not easy to get rid of it later.

Stop,tattoos are permanant.No way.Why did no one ever tell me.

You do realise not everybody wants to get rid of their tattoos.Not every tattoo is a mistake.

Hardcandy1 I dont care you think they are tacky.

@Crimsonnightlotus I love tattoos. I just don't like ugly tattoos.Its just a matter of opinion,we are not all going to like the same things.

motherheroic · 19/04/2020 10:04

If this was about anything other then a tattoo everyone would be going on about how controlling it is.

Some posters heads are clearly clouded by their hatred for tattoos. It's a bit pathetic really. Imagine being so worked up by something that has literally nothing to do with you. Couldn't be me.

Mumofboysngrls · 19/04/2020 10:04

@Thymelord the OP described in detail the tattoo she wishes to get and the location of the tattoo but you think noone is allowed to have an opinion on that part of her post?
Life would be very boring if we all had the same opinions and I thought the whole point of message boards was that people could voice said opinions.

GreytExpectations · 19/04/2020 10:06

@Crimsonnightlotus don't worry, I couldn't give a rats ass about your opinion on tattoos, but really weird you felt the need to ask about my partner.

It's such a same you seem to support controlling behaviour in relationships

Theonewiththecandles · 19/04/2020 10:09

I would show him the door if he thought my skin was "disgusting" with the tattoos I already have.
Forearm tattooes are absolutely fine, though roses and a stopclock are so cringey and generic. If that's fine with you, then go ahead. Why not choose flowers that are in highest bloom when your child was born instead of roses? I don't think tattoos have to be meaningful - a couple of mine certainly aren't, but roses just seem.. a bit lazy. I can understand the clock, if it has the time of birth.

Pulpfiction1 · 19/04/2020 10:09

Op your partner sounds very controlling.

A normal partner would say, I don't like the sound of that, maybe we could discuss somthing that would suit both our tastes, but if you have the money and it's what you really want it's your body.

Tbh his reaction seems like the tip of the iceburge, its maybe time to start evaluating his all round behaviour.

That being said, I think rose tattoos can look lovely but I'm not sure on your choice of placement. Large upper arm tattoos can look too masculine on women. Have you thought about getting it on you upper thigh or down your lower side to hip area.

JudyGemstone · 19/04/2020 10:11

Sorry A/B people and C1 people?

Whats is this please? I can't work it out.

Crimsonnightlotus · 19/04/2020 10:11

Rayoflight, exactly. Like I said, I love tattoo. Just don't like old faded ones, I think it looks ugly. But if it's hidden, we don't even need to think about it. But if it's visible, we are allowed to have an opinion.

JudyGemstone · 19/04/2020 10:12

OP there is a Tattoos topic on here, you might get a different type of answer there Smile

LakieLady · 19/04/2020 10:13

to be fair, everyone sincerely believe they have taste and a great sense of humour

So true! Grin

SpillTheTea · 19/04/2020 10:14

The judgemental cows on here are irrelevant. If you want the tattoo and it will make you happy, of course you should get it.

Crimsonnightlotus · 19/04/2020 10:14

GreytExpectations, Are you for real? I don't support controlling behaviours, or interested in your partner.

Crimsonnightlotus · 19/04/2020 10:16

I just wish people here use more brain than just trying make a point by twisting facts about what people said.

BrooHaHa · 19/04/2020 10:23

@JudyGemstone

I'm trying to work this out too. I think it probably links to types of occupation. I had a Google but the best I could find was this.

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo
Whatisthisfuckery · 19/04/2020 10:26

If he’d said I don’t like tattoos and I’d prefer you not to get another that would be fine, he’s allowed an opinion.

Him saying get another tattoo and I’ll leave you is controlling.

It’s your choice what you do with your body. Chances are he wouldn’t leave you anyway but if he did then you’d have had a lucky escape if you ask me. It sounds like he sees you as his property, to dictate to as he pleases. If he’s like that then he deserves fucking off anyway, regardless of how many tattoos you get or how beautiful or tacky they are.

Thymelord · 19/04/2020 10:29

The OP didnt ask for opinions on the tattoo, or the location of it. As well you know.

If you can honestly read all 17 pages of this thread and dismiss as "just people's opinions" then I'm afraid I can't help you. You're being, at best, incredibly disingenuous.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 19/04/2020 10:31

@BrooHaHa wow that is a disgusting way to "rank" people in society.

Umnoway · 19/04/2020 10:31

He sounds so controlling. If he was telling you he wanted to leave you because of a certain dress you wore or certain hairstyle you wanted, everyone on this thread would be up in arms. It’s your body and your decision, get the tattoo and ditch the wanker husband.

Thymelord · 19/04/2020 10:32

Sorry A/B people and C1 people

This is some smug sanctimonious bastard trying to suggest that unskilled working class "chavs" have tattoos, and lovely middle class people in lovely well paid jobs don't. It is sickening.

seltaeb · 19/04/2020 10:35

My advice would be that if you care about and love your husband then do not get the tattoo. Three is more than enough and the design you describe sounds hideous.