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Original poster

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo

731 replies

Peyton2020 · 18/04/2020 22:03

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years we have a 3 year old together. before we met I already had 3 tattoos on my wrists and ankle

Last night I told him I wanted another tattoo, which he went crazy at saying he would leave if I got another one. He said that they disgust him and that he wouldn’t be able to look at me if I got one.

The tattoo would be on my forearm and it will be roses, a stop clock and my daughters name and birth date.

I really really want the tattoo, but if I get it I risk my marriage. I don’t know what to do

Please help :)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
hesgotit · 19/04/2020 08:41

Lol at all the people thinking you're having to have the tattoo done in case you forget the date of DCs birth!

I don't think it's for that reason, does anyone really think that?

Iamthewombat · 19/04/2020 08:41

The tattoo design itself is a working process

LaMarschallin beat me to this one.

Oh and one of the remarks picked up on by previous said “I’m so clever” wazzocks with an oh so witty put down was actually correct....awkward.

You’re incorrect, I’m afraid. Shall I explain it to you again? Here goes:

The poster complained that ‘judgmental people’ gave her ‘a wild birth’. I wondered whether she’d deliberately written ‘wild birth’ instead of ‘wide berth’, for a ‘chester draws’ style laugh. No.

Later she comes back to tell us about her typo (really malapropism; you don’t mis-spell two words in an expression and come up with an entirely different one that just happens to be a malapropism) and calls it ‘a wide birth’.

Why do you think ‘a wide birth’ or ‘a wild birth’ are the correct expressions as opposed to ‘a wide berth’? I can’t wait for your response.

This is why it is best to read and understand things before plunging in with insults (“wazzock”?). It makes you look a bit silly and defensive.

hesgotit · 19/04/2020 08:42

I’d think your marriage is more important than a bit of permanent ink

Correct, I wonder the. DH thinks it is that important?

hesgotit · 19/04/2020 08:43

*wonder why

MarieQueenofScots · 19/04/2020 08:43

Iamthewombat

Oh dear, how desperately awkward, you do see that I said “one of”. Yours wasn’t the comment I was referring to.

Interesting that you think it was though, do you often think comments are all about you?

Priceless!

Oldbutstillgotit · 19/04/2020 08:44

OP where are your other tattoos ? If they are not particularly visible maybe that’s why your DH has been ok with them but your proposed one is more visible ? Not sure if that makes sense !

Crimsonnightlotus · 19/04/2020 08:44

GreatExpectations, but don't you ever say anything about your partner?
It's nothing to do with husband controlling wife. What if the thread was started by husband? I wouldn't have different opinion.
I really don't like it when people making things to sound like men controlling women, and think MN is supporting it. You are way more judgemental than those who hate tattoos.

Triggahippy · 19/04/2020 08:44

Some really nasty and outdated views here. Some sound borderline hysterical- bizarre.
The name calling on this thread is outrageous. Lots of Karen’s out in force
I feel like this should be a thread from the 1940s by all the marriage comments. Jeez.

MarieQueenofScots · 19/04/2020 08:45

Do you need me to explain the difference between one of and all of * * Iamthewombat it might help you interact a touch better.

hesgotit · 19/04/2020 08:46

@Oldestchild90s on the wrists and banked, it's in the OP.

hesgotit · 19/04/2020 08:46

Banked??? Ankle!

ooooohbetty · 19/04/2020 08:47

Your choice to get one or not knowing he'll leave you if you do. What's more important to you? A tattoo on your arm that'll make you look as rough as or your marriage?

Soontobe60 · 19/04/2020 08:47

@hesgotit

It didn't really hurt apart from the bit on my wrist and near the crook of my elbow. That was sensitive. The most painful bit was removing the dressing 3 days afterwards, brought tears to my eyes!

Having just read through the whole thread again, it saddens me that so many comments sound like they come from bitchy bullying schoolgirls, rather than adult women. Of course everyone has an opinion on whether they like tattoos or not. That's perfectly ok. But to use disparaging names about people who have them is just plain nasty.
Shame on you!

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo
Crimsonnightlotus · 19/04/2020 08:48

Veteriari, if your partner can threaten you to leave with thing like this, and you indeed threatened by it, then your relationship with that person is not equal in the first place.

OliviaBenson · 19/04/2020 08:51

Your body your choice, but equally he is entitled to end the relationship for whatever reason he wants to. If the sexes were switched it wouldn't be called controlling, but it would be identified as setting down boundaries.

Where does it end- what about face tattoos?

If my H started smoking again I'd leave him. His body his choice, but I can't abide it and it would be a dealbreaker for me.

PinkMeTickle · 19/04/2020 08:51

@Soontobe60 absolutely love that. it's so delicate and colourful!

Straycatstrut · 19/04/2020 08:52

Wow I have many tattoos so I'm tacky and disgusting according to MN!

sauvignonblancplz · 19/04/2020 08:52

@Midnightmusing Your sister sounds like a horrible teacher.

Get the tattoo- so many uptight people here.

Crimsonnightlotus · 19/04/2020 08:52

Soontobe, that's is one of the most beautiful tattoo I have ever seen. How lovely.

GreytExpectations · 19/04/2020 08:52

GreatExpectations, but don't you ever say anything about your partner?

Why does my partner have any relevance to this Confused but as you seem so obsessed with my... He is great and has been supportive about all my tattoos.

It's nothing to do with husband controlling wife. What if the thread was started by husband?

It would still be controlling. The fact that you can't see that through your judgemental eyes is quite shocking actually.

Apple1029 · 19/04/2020 08:53

OP the tattoo you described sounds truly tacky and so unoriginal. If my dh said he wanted one on his neck or something as in your face then I would feel the same. He probably think its cheap looking as well.

nicky7654 · 19/04/2020 08:54

Strange behavior from your Husband. Leave you over a tattoo??? Sounds controlling to me. You can do what you like and if the fact a tattoo makes him leave you then he doesn't love you anyway!!!

YeahWhatevver · 19/04/2020 08:54

Tattoo on your forearm makes you sound like a sailor

Your body, your choice obviously ut I can see where your DH is coming from

GreytExpectations · 19/04/2020 08:55

If my dh said he wanted one on his neck or something as in your face then I would feel the same.

So you would call him disgusting and then end the marriage?

hesgotit · 19/04/2020 08:55

@Soontobe60 I tell you tattoos have come on loads since I had mine, that's so delicate.

As for people name calling and saying it goes hand in hand with bad parenting,ignore! Narrow-minded, judgemental twats.

Especially the post er who said "my sister said", fucking hell you can't make your own mind up, your sister tells you what to think?