DH communication with teacher

[lockdownfab]

Changed username for this because worried it's outing.

This year we have had quite a lot of problems with DS at school, his behaviour has not been good.
He has formed quite a good relationship with one of the teachers at school and she supports him a lot. My work is quite demanding at the moment but DH works from home so he has been much more in contact with this teacher than I am. She is one of the staff who supports behaviour - sorry not sure what that job role is.

However I am worried about the extent DH is now messaging this teacher. It seems to no longer be about DS and more them just chatting about stuff, they have been emailing over easter and there is clearly nothing to say about DS due to schools being shut and it being holidays.

DH says its important to maintain a relationship with these staff due to them supporting DS and it's nothing out of the ordinary. He doesn't actually know i've accessed his emails and looked at the more recent messages.

Basicallly, AIBU to tell DH to quit it and not email unless it's something specific to do with DS?

In case it matters, DS loves this teacher

1066vegan
I think the same as you.

I'd also want my own house in order before going to someone's boss saying "I snooped in my husband's emails and dislike the fact your employee was being friendly so please can you sort it" which really translates as "I don't trust my husband so I went through his emails, didn't like the tone and now I'd like you to intervene because I think your employee is tempting my husband".

@Standrewsschool I agree the teacher has got herself into this.

I feel embarrassed for your partner. He just has to stop.

I'd also want my own house in order before going to someone's boss saying "I snooped in my husband's emails and dislike the fact your employee was being friendly so please can you sort it" which really translates as "I don't trust my husband so I went through his emails, didn't like the tone and now I'd like you to intervene because I think your employee is tempting my husband"

Exactly this. On no other thread would you have been told to complain to the boss of a woman sending non-flirty messages to your dh. You'd have instead been told time and time again you have a dh problem. Even on threads where the op has said her husband has been sending and receiving naked photos, having a blatant affair, or even moved in with his ow, very very few people who recommend calling her boss.

The only reason so many nutters on this thread have suggested you phone the woman who has responded to your dh’s non-flirty messages with no -flirty messages, is because they thought she was a teacher, and mumsnet thinks teachers are scum of the earth.

Op, deal with your husband.

Honest to god i can’t roll my eyes hard enough at the ridiculousness of it.