Irritated, irritable and irritating. AIBU to be tolerant in RL and tell them to get fucked on this thread.

[fuckinghellthisshit]

IABU. Unreasonable and I know it.

I am just so fucking irritated at the moment. Everything is grinding my gears. DD's constant fucking exercising, DS leaving his shit everywhere, DH's following me around and just fucking breathing everywhere.
I am being a model of kindness and tolerance but I do wish every bastard one of them would fuck off.

And face timing my DGM97 every day at exactly 6pm to watch her slowly lose her shit (she's been in lockdown for 6 weeks already) and become unkempt is horrendous. Arguing with her for hours about politics (she lives for these debates and asks for robust challenging - good for her mh she says) is exhausting. I just want to lie down, I don't care what Mark fucking Steel is saying today - he can get fucked too.

My mean GD97 who has been living in isolation for 40 years and never wanted a visit or call but suddenly needs the warmth and kindness of his family - well the women in his family, and I am especially sought after as the busiest person. Fuck you mean old man, you are alone for a reason! you made your miserable lonely bed now lie in it!

My normally sane DM is in full lunatic mode, needing constant love and reassurance, leave me alone! I am your child! What about me! Why not rind one of my many bastarding twat brothers. And stop cooking for 12-18 people - there are only 2 of you there - that's why you're getting so fat - not stress hormones.

My tribe of idiot brothers who all refused to accept there was any problem and spouted full Trump rhetoric until my DGM's neighbour died and then had massive mantrums demanding I send them all food. Get fucked!
.
I love these people so very much. I also loved my small business and working, and being on my own a bit. I care so much, but I want a break and a vent. So here, in the safety of MN, I will tell them all to get fucked.

Thank you, I feel so much better now.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe EVERYONE is furious with DH snoring, even DH himself who confesses he's been waking himself up.

Men? Can't live with em, can't shoot em.

OK - The flytippers.
I clearly look worse than I thought. I walked towards them, 6 foot 6 DH beside me holding an axe (he genuinely wanted to cut some wood up!) and they reloaded and scarpered in about 30 seconds.
Fuckers fucked off like they fucking should. Left the gate open thou, cunts.

@SchadenfreudePersonified yes! And in my case as we have a baby 'should I do this with the baby?' 'Should I change the baby' 'should I take him for a nap?' YOU PARENTED FINE BEFORE THIS WHAT CHANGED?!

also 'what can I eat?' Then when I go to the fridge and find the contents decimated. I too have hidden food in the house and have now got both of us our own jars of Nutella that I've written our names on to stop dh from eating it all before I get any. Lockdown has made us into giant children.

@Butterymuffin: Signature Lasagne was finally served at 9.06!

It was very nice, if a little dry for my liking, and the dog enjoyed licking the plates.

Amazingly, DP cleared as he went along and doesn't appear to have used every utensil we possess.

@Lakielady I am pleased to hear about your utensils but must enquire if you have tomato sauce or the likes splattered up any walls or doors? My dhs personal record was tomato stains on the outside of the kitchen door while making beans on toast...

Nice work, @fuckinghellthisshit. Fly tippers are scum.

I want to own an AXE.

Well jel

Ahhh you guys have cheered me up, Thankyou! I am SI because I had a child who had a symptom. Now stuck in a house with 5 people and whilst I'm outwardly calm, internally I just want a fight like the grumpy ladybird book!! Breathing, crunching, arguing, messy MESSY people EVERYWHERE! I miss time alone so much and can't even go for a walk for two weeks!!

World's biggest fucking oil rigs, Hitler's Massive fucking Erections, Clapped Out Car Fucking Rescue etc, etc. But if I want to watch a bit of frothy TV it's "what shit is this?"

Is the car one the programme where the irritating short bloke goes and buys some old wreck and the sensible one spends months restoring it, then they sell it and make a profit that means Sensible One will have earned about 0.003p an hour for his labour?

That's often on chez Lakie. Fucking load of old shite.

We have a large pile of wood in the kitchen. Dh has gone full 'last man on earth' and is building a massive fire. Good times. I am listening to Sean Paul loud and drinking the rum.

Fucking school for dc2 and fucking schoolwork. I am not a teacher, and I definitely do not want to be a home educator.
So why are am I being emailed reams of schoolwork then. That involves me having to essentially teach my dc. And when the work hasnt been done and uploaded to one of the 9 different online learning things between the 2 kids you email me asking for it.

Go fuck yourselves. I'm their mum, not their teacher.

@chickenyhead we have 9 axes in the house - many more outside. DH's hobby is collecting axes it seems. He'll regret it when I plant one in his skull. He'll have to be asleep thou, otherwise I'll need a ladder and that would give the game away.
I think End Game has given me ideas

@exerciseinmypyjamas I am a teacher, sometimes, and I feel exactly the same way

@Isolatinginthekitchen, I'll leave the full aftermath inspection until daylight, but given the twat can't make a cup of tea (mine) and a coffee (his) without spilling them down the cupboard doors, leaving sugar scattered across the worktop and at least one teaspoon in a little brown puddle on the (white) draining board, I daresay there'll be a fair bit of scraping sauce off surfaces tomorrow.

I am glad you feel better; your descriptions of your lovely exasperating family made me laugh so I feel better too.

@LakieLady I don't understand how they do it! Fills me with rage! Sugar is the worst 🙄 my dh will always deny it was him, even if he was the last one in the vicinity or I saw him do it. Makes me want to stab him in the eye with a fork.

Although knowing him he'd probably splatter blood everywhere and it would be a bastard to clean up

No, @fuckinghellthisshit, don''t use a ladder, the brief will use that as evidence of malice aforethought and you won't be able to plea bargain them down to manslaughter.

You'll have to wait till you catch him squatting down or something. Then you'll be able to claim you tripped over him while you happened to be swinging the axe, and that it was an accident. Possibly a rum-related accident.

So far this week we have been given maths and literacy booklets to print out and complete, a project that took a few days to do, several godawful online learning things to do, spellings to learn and write into a story and are supposed to read 2 books this week.
I'm sure that when they find out I only just scraped a pass in my GCSE maths they will be less keen for me to teach my dc maths. This lot of work is for my year 5 dc.

I'm currently eating chocolate brownies I baked for the kids to eat tomorrow. We've got plenty of easter eggs left for a fresh batch.

DD just spent over a minute telling me how bad my parting is. I told her "When I was 8 my mother told me I was impossible, with a parting like a dog's hind leg, and I pride myself on it"
That shut her up.
She's off to bed at 10pm, with a litre of water and a wonderfully clear mind. I love her to distraction but dear god she needs to fuck right off.

So glad you are all venting like this so I can join in. I left my ex 2 weeks before the virus and now have to sodding face time every damned day so he can talk to the kids he never bothered with beforehand. I dont want to talk to him and answer the same fucking questions every day. What did we have for dinner? What are our plans for tommorow? Urgh. My plans for tommorow are to have the daily fucking battle to get my 5 yr old to do any schoolwork at all, to stop my kids screaming at each other and for me to try and shout less as we have still not met our neighbours but I reckon they will all fucking hate us because of the noise in our house and my chances of actually making any local friends when this is all over are screwed.
I'm sick of cooking food for it to be rejected and then being screamed at for not then handing out crap for pudding
Im sick of not being able to leave a room before the kids are fighting again and I'm sick of repeating myself so many times I end up losing my shit, again.
I just want to be able to take the kids out for the day and not feel anxiety, stress and judgement

Although knowing him he'd probably splatter blood everywhere and it would be a bastard to clean up

Yes, they even bleed in an inconsiderate and messy fashion.

DP leaves tiny scraps of blood-stained bog roll in odd places round the house when he's cut himself shaving. Which is every time he shaves, pretty much.

He'll be 60 tomorrow (if he lives that long), you'd have thought he'd have got the hang of shaving by now.

Morporkia

Can I join in? I’m fucking fed up to the back teeth of watching true crime documentaries with DH. If I watch anymore I swear I’ll take some of the info and do the fucker in, whilst being forensically aware and maintaining social distancing guidelines. I’m fed up with my DD FaceTiming me at 9 am when I’ve told her I’m not getting to sleep until 5am. Im fed up with having to pretend that I really enjoy talking to her when i want to cry from lack of sleep. I’m fed up with her moaning that the baby is crying. Well yeah. He’s a fucking baby. And her back yard is too small. And her gas bill is too high and by the way can she come round and pick up some tuna because Asda didn’t have any. NO. I told you to go shopping weeks ago and you went to the corner shop and bought 17 bags of crisps. I’m fed up with my DM telling me about her stupid friends who think that it’s fine to go on walks together and literally acting like a spoiled teenager when I advise her not to join them. And as for my son....he has turned into a moaning whinging sloth. I feel sorry for his poor girlfriend having to put up with the lazy, miserable son of a bitch. And as for me? I’m fed up with the constant fucking anxiety crushing the life and happiness out of me. I’m fed up with wanting to cry at the drop of a hat and I’m certainly pissed off with myself at the amount of fucking snacks I’m getting through. Thank fuck I can’t bake

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lakielady - Yeah that one but also the one where the cheekie chappie and ex pop-"star" nick some old boy's car (and I don't think I've seen one where it's a female) at the behest of their relatives and restore it. I always think "but they wanted to do it themselves and you've taken that dream away" but they owner always has to look chuffed (although I accept that sometimes they genuinely are).

OP YANBU and this is the best fucking thread all week.